At 1pm tomorrow, City Council starts examining the applicants vying to become Austin's next City Manager – a process some have said is overly short, secretive, and likely to give candidates already with the city an advantage. Already some troubling signs have emerged:
– Instead of council chambers, new City Manager to be announced at Wal-Mart headquarters in Bentonville, Arkansas
– Press release announcing finalists to be written in Zapf Dingbats font
– Kirk Watson, Casey Dobson and Richard Suttle planning topless leap out of giant novelty cake
– Council's agreed-upon "external" candidates hail from Detroit, Baghdad, parking-lot of Chris' Liquor
– Search underwritten by Domino's Pizza; same thirty-minute agreement applies
– The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" named official theme song of the search
– We already miss Toby
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