Bush Awarded Purple Heart. No, Really.

File under "Rendering Irony Obsolete":

WASHINGTON – Bill and Georgia Thomas reported they were elated Monday when they met in the Oval Office with President George W. Bush to present him with a Purple Heart. … The couple was able to meet with President Bush for about 20 minutes to present him with one of three Purple Hearts that Bill Thomas received during his service in Vietnam.

"He said he didn't feel like he had earned it," Thomas said, noting the president looked thinner in person than on television. … Thomas said he and his wife came up with the unprecedented idea to present the president with the Purple Heart over breakfast one morning a few months ago as they discussed the verbal attacks, both foreign and domestic, the commander in chief has withstood during his time in office.

"We feel like emotional wounds and scars are as hard to carry as physical wounds," Thomas said.

We're sure everyone at Walter Reed agrees.

It's really hard to gauge what's more astonishing: the Thomases' idea or the fact that Bush – who famously ducked Vietnam in the Texas Air National Guard and then famously ducked that – accepted the fucking thing. If there were ever an occasion to graciously refuse something, this would've had to be it.

The comments here are suitably outraged. Our favorite: "Why not just head down to the local military cemetery and piss on some of the fresher-looking graves?"