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He's No Tony Bennett

By Amy Smith, January 11, 2007, 4:06pm, Newsdesk

Hide the women, children, and non-English speakers! Red-blooded rocker Ted Nugent ("If you can't speak English, then get the fuck out of America") will play Rick Perry's Inaugural Ball on Tuesday. With all the wound-licking going on over the speaker's race, perhaps you’ve forgotten that the gov and Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst will be sworn into office next week. A full day of festivities are on deck, starting with a swearing-in ceremony at 10am Tuesday on the south steps of the Capitol. Barbecue will be served. The marching bands strike up at noon for the traditional Congress Avenue parade. And that's where the public participation ends and the invitation-only events begin, my friends. Dancing, drinking, and covert cruising get underway after dark, with an inaugural ball bill featuring former Supremes Mary Wilson, country singer Clay Walker, and, of course, the Nuge, whose gun-toting, foul-mouthed, freedom-loving, immigrant-bashing, Christian values puts him in good stead with this crowd. Wonder if Perry seeks the caveman's counsel on immigration issues. Just a thought.

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