Nervous Nelly Baird

Charlie Baird is fretting. He's been at Cuba Libre for over an hour and he hasn't seen any election results. For whatever reason, the e-night numbers in the 299th District Court are nowhere to be found. They're not showing up on TV. And he can't seem to locate them on the county Web site (they're there, but he's apparently too frazzled to properly navigate the Net). In short, Baird is nervous. Yeah, it's funny, especially considering his opponent, Madeleine Connor – which more than one Baird party reveler has dubbed the "GOP sacrificial lamb" – hasn't ever tried a criminal case in her short career as a criminal attorney. Still, Baird isn't a guy who takes anything for granted. Even after he's been told, even by the Chronicle more than once, that early voting totals showed him with 63% of the vote at 7:30pm. "You take this stuff for granted, that's when you lose," says Baird. Still, at least somewhere, he does know that his election is, thankfully, inevitable. "If I lose, it's gonna be a bad night for Travis County, and probably only Kirk Watson would win." That's right, Charlie – now have that drink and celebrate, because come Jan. 1, you'll be donning the black robe.