HELLYEAH: FUCKNO

In a WORLD EXCLUSIVE!, Revolver, “The World’s Loudest Rock Magazine,” announced earlier this year that the planets aligned for the creation of the “ultimate metal supergroup!” Its members? Paid staff columnist and Dallas-native Vinnie Paul (who fields hard hitting journalistic inquiries like, “If you were gay, who’s the first dude you would bone?”), Mudvayne’s Chad Gray and guitarist Greg Tribbet, previously known as Kud and Gurrg, respectively, during their masked nu-metal heyday, and some dudes from Nothingface.

The problem is that nothing about HELLYEAH (caps intentional), is, in fact, super. Gray is an even more
one-dimensional vocalist than Damageplan’s Pat Lachman, while his attempts at Texas thrash are simply laughable. It takes more than whiskey and weed to sound like a true cowboy from hell. That’s one of the reasons that Rebel Meets Rebel, the collaboration between David Allen Coe and Pantera’s rhythm section, which included the late, great Dimebag Darrell, as well as bassist Rex Brown, sounded so raw and real. Those were true musical outlaws forging an alliance at a unique crossroads. In contrast, HELLYEAH is nothing more than another forgettable Mudvayne album. After all, Matt McDonough (sPaG) is actually a pretty decent drummer.

To prevent future misconceptions, Into the Void has established some general guidelines for “supergroup” consideration:

1. Three out of four members must have played a significant role in his/her previous band. No roadies or session musicians.

2. The general public has to have to given a damn about the previous band. Nothingface?

3. The group must write at least one album that’s better than the worst material from the accumulative former bands. That should exclude Velvet Revolver from the ranks.

4. The "supergroup" cannot write their own theme song, i.e. “Hellyeah.”

5. The band shall not exceed the two-album limit before disbanding and becoming completely irrelevant. Sorry, Audioslave.

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