The Austin Chronicle

The AggreGAYtor: December 13

By Brandon Watson, December 13, 2012, 11:00am, The Gay Place

Tammy Baldwin gets back stage access, t.A.T.u. reunite, and Lindsey Graham prepares for some pyrotechnics. You wouldn't trade today’s AggreGAYtor for a sack o' gold. Let's go on with the show.

• Probably because England was getting a little too smug about their promises to introduce a marriage equality bill, Scotland reveals that they have already drafted theirs. A spokesperson added that “England can kiss their haggis.”

Your Holiday Mom doesn’t mind if you wear hot shorts while opening gifts.

Oh brother!

Tammy Baldwin has been named to four key Senate panels, where she will rule with the fist of justice.

• The death of Lisa Lawson, the lesbian who prompted a three week search in Atlanta, has been ruled a suicide.

• U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement grants a reprieve to a gay man faced with deportation to Uganda.

Jazz Jennings. Say it. Jazz Jennings. It’s like filterless Lucky Strike dipped in twenty year old scotch. Squonk squonk. What’s that crazy new sound? Jazzzzz Jennings. (Seriously, she’s pretty dang cool.)

• After a nine month period of consideration, Catholic University of America has rejected a LGBT student group because “it might become an advocacy organization.” Might? Were they expecting a group dedicated to self-immolation? Did they want all members to wear hairshirts around campus? Did they think this was a charter of GOProud?

• Bay Area LGBT community leader Elvira Zayas has been charged with assault.

• Jowly Senator Lindsey Graham likens the marriage equality debate to the Civil War. One has to wonder if the GOP ever steps back from their purple rhetoric and just laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. They’re just one step away from scoring all their pronouncements with O Fortuna.

• Like Lazarus stumbling out of his tomb, the sham Sapphists in t.A.T.u. have risen to spread the gospel. It sounds like the last dying gasps of Katy Perry.

• The Family Research Council has severed ties with UPS over their own tie severing with the Boy Scouts of America. Which means your “Hotties of Homophobia” calendar will probably be delayed.

Fordham University has approved using the word “queer” for campus events.

• The ridiculously awesome Baltimore feminist collective FORCE is planning a panty drop as part of their Victoria’s Secret skewering “PINK loves consent” rape culture awareness campaign.

• See you guys, conversion therapy does work.

• I know my three loyal readers have been racking their brains for weeks trying to think of something to get me for wintermas, so I’m going to do them a solid. Hint hint! HINT HINT!

• I think I’ll start a church that is devoted to the worship of Seattle married couple Larry Duncan and Randell Shepherd. I can’t wait to design the camo vestments.

• Uh-oh. Both Rain and Oilcans made the list of top 10 DUI bars in Austin this year.

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