Peanut Butter? Once Again.
Because it shouldn’t be indistinguishable from, say, cake frosting
By Wayne Alan Brenner,
3:30PM, Mon. Jul. 19, 2021
I unleashed a joke a while ago, like I’m some kind of comedian.
“I made the mistake,” I said at an open mic night recently, “of reading the ingredients list while eating from the usual jar of peanut butter. And I realized that, whoa, eating this stuff is pretty much like gorging on cake frosting – and I decided right then and there to change my ways. So now I eat cake frosting instead.”
Yeah, okay, I know: That’s why I’m not giving up the day job.
But you do see the switcheroo of logic at the end, the part that had the potential to be funny, right?
What’s even less funny, though, is the unhealthy truth in that attempt at humor. It’s especially unfunny because peanut butter can be delicious all by itself; it can be so good and so healthy and just what you need for a snack or to enhance a full meal any time of the day or night.
But you don’t wanna be constantly nomming out on the most popular brands of P.B. unless you’re also planning on having your name legally changed to Stay-Puft, right? Unless you’re planning on abusing your already health-neglected meatpuppet with the longterm effects of a sugar addiction.
Citizen, let me put you wise: Once Again.
I know that’s a familiar phrase from Bernie Sanders, sure, but we’re not talking politics here – we’re talking peanut butter and we’re talking flavor and we’re talking health.
And the organic peanut butters from the company named Once Again, that raccoon-mascoted family business in the more rural area of upstate New York, those butters are made by roasting and grinding peanuts until they’re perfectly creamy and all the natural flavor is expressed.
And, do you know what’s added after that? Answer: Nothing. No salt, no sugar, not a damned thing but peanuts – no preservatives, even – and those peanuts are ethically sourced from Argentina, Nicaragua, and right here in the USA.
Now, I wouldn’t be telling you about this Once Again stuff if it didn’t also taste good. And it’s not that it tastes good to some starry-eyed commune-raised granola-cruncher who was bitten by a radioactive Euell Gibbons when he was a teenager, but that it tastes good to your current reporter, who still has trouble resisting those old cake-frosting urges. That’s how good it is.
Oh, but maybe that’s not endorsement enough for you, O Conscientious Consumer™? Maybe you require a barrage of modern food-industry shibboleths to assure you of quality, of integrity?
Listen: USDA Certified Organic, Honest in Trade, Gluten-Free Certified, Vegan, Kosher Certified, and Non-GMO Verified.
That’s what Once Again is, besides delicious.
Bonus: They also make cashew butter and almond butter and sunflower butter and – oh, you can find it all right here.
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