The Best Hookup Sites - Top 10 Adult Dating Sites in 2021

Did you ever imagine there would be a time when meeting in bars and nightclubs became passe? It’s strange but true. From pandemics to social anxiety to ridiculously high prices for drinks, many people find reasons to stay inside and log into their favorite dating site.

Why not? Hooking up online is less expensive, less stressful, and frankly, a much more effective way to get laid than going back to the bar scene like it’s still 1980s Cheers where everybody knows your name - yeah, you, with the Sam Malone haircut!

Well, no one knows your name on modern hookup sites, and it’s a great thing because usually, you don’t want to see any of these people again! But if you’re looking for a one night stand to relieve your stress, you’re going to find that only a handful of sites actually deliver the intimacy you seek.

In this discussion, we’re going to review all of the top 10 hookup sites, including the best dating sites to get laid and some runners up that may or may not give you what you want - and why. Let’s start by talking about the best casual dating app/site and why we made our choice.

Top 10 Best Hookup Sites

1. Best chance of hooking up with someone - Adult Friend Finder
2. Best female to male ratio - Seeking
3. Best hookup site with a twist - Ashley Madison
4. Tech-friendly way to hookup with someone - Sex Messenger
5. Most accessible hookup app - Pure App
6. Best for hooking up with someone involved with alternative lifestyles - Alt
7. Most versatile hookup site - Bumble
8. Best results from a hookup - Tinder
9. Entire sea of potential hookup partners - Plenty of Fish
10. 100% Free hookup site - Reddit R4R

1. AdultFriendFinder - Largest Hookup Site (Most Popular)

Adult Friend Finder is one of the oldest and most trusted sites for matching lovers together and for catering to experimental, swinging, and non-monogamous relationships. It’s no coincidence that many swinging couples or polyamorous partners prefer to keep things casual with their dates.

Serious relationship dating can sometimes become too intense and involve stressful emotions. Short-term hookups seem to work better for some, and so open marriage couples will seek out lovers who understand the limitations of an NSA affair.

Adult Friend Finder lets you customize your search for a long term relationship or one night stand, while also providing lifestyle content like erotic stories, webcam shows, and a social media-like newsfeed from all your friends.

Pros

• Lots of swingers, and that’s as NSA as you can get
• Webcam shows too
• Earn free points by using the site’s features

Cons

• Fairly expensive

2. Seeking - Site with Much More Women Than Men

Seeking has a clear gimmick and demographic: wealthy and experienced seeking young and beautiful. The sugar daddy meets sugar baby theme brings many women to the site, which explains the fairly well known 4-1 ratio of women outnumbering men.

The catch is, men have to be generally successful. The site doesn’t “enforce” the millionaire rule as other sites might. However, priority is given to verified wealthy elite members, the kind who openly admit to spoiling young beauties with money and attention.

If you’re not wealthy, you won’t get very far. Women join for free, and sugar daddies are usually happy to pay the high membership fee, just for the chance to spend more money and find a sugar baby that appeals to them. Hey, it’s a better deal than tipping at a strip club, that’s for sure.

Pros

• More women than men - great for rich guys
• Free for women to join
• Many college-age women to chat with

Cons

• Men on a budget need not join

3. AshleyMadison - Best Overall for Hooking Up

Ashley Madison has not only gained a reputation for being a naughty site for married people to flirt but also for its marketing with “an affair guarantee.”

Though the company eventually phased out the guarantee, the site still maintains that with over 60 million users, a judgment-free approach to dating, and brand name notoriety, it’s the best place to have an affair, regardless of your situation.

There’s no question Ashley Madison offers an attractive package, with a free browsing membership for men, and free membership for women. You can also use the site for traveling since its huge database crosses over almost every major city in the world.

Ashley Madison is not always the most enjoyable site, but it’s the one site that un-complicates the “it’s complicated” issue, welcoming marrieds and married-chasers alike.

Pros

• Gigantic database
• Free preview and browsing
• Almost everyone’s married and looking

Cons

• More one night stands than FWB relationships

4. Sex Messenger - Easy to Use Hookup Site

Sex Messenger is like an “anonymous” version of Facebook IM, or AOL IM, or What’s App - only without your actual name. This messenger keeps things discreet because the makers know people use it for hooking up, trading nudes, or just chatting at the wee hours of the night.

Not only can you chat and trade photos, but you can even create blog entries and connect with singles, marrieds, or couples by zip code search. The blog entries help make your profile more attractive and let people know what you’re looking for.

The major advantages are a smaller-than-average screen, so it’s easy to hide, and notifications for when new members join. Downloading the app is free, and so is using basic features. The VIP membership lets you webcam chat, add your favorite users, and enjoy unlimited texts.

Pros

• Easy design
• Blog to showcase your personality
• Fastest and safest way to send nudes

Cons

• Not a huge membership yet

5. Pure App - Best Vanishing Secret Hookup App

Pure App is certainly made for NSA affairs. One of the site’s best features is that you can join quickly to look for a date and then have your profile disappear within an hour. The app uses your GPS function to find other Pure users who are also looking for NSA fun.

All you have to do to find a date is post a photo, a straightforward headline, and then wait while other nearby users indicate whether they’re interested or not. What separates this app from Tinder is your profile vanishes, along with all correspondence, so you can truly say goodbye forever.

Pros

• Disappearing profiles and messages
• Local GPS search or up to 500 miles
• Just a photo and a sentence, and you’re off

Cons

• Not much action outside of major cities

6. Alt.com - Best of the BDSM Sex Sites

Alt.com is definitely not a serious relationship website but perhaps the polar opposite - casual sex that’s so intense, it can feel like love. Or pain. Or hurt, or even healing. Yes, the Alt.com website champions BDSM, seduction, and fetish dating.

You won’t find a lot of serious real-life talk here, but you will encounter roleplaying, nude photos, fetish group conversation, and of course, many requests for BDSM partners.

Naturally, because Alt.com is one of a few free dating websites, you have many men looking for sex partners, as well as a high degree of “fake profiles” as reported by users. Nevertheless, the ability to customize your fetish and seek out someone who likes the same kinks as you do is an exciting proposition.

Just remember, this is a site about everything BUT sex. So be ready to bark like a dog, or join an orgy, or submit to dungeon torture, or embrace foot love. It all depends on the kinksters.

Pros

• Cam shows, profiles, blogs, and messages
• Social media interaction
• Localized fetish searching

Cons

• Site buries your profile unless you pay the premium

7. Bumble - Best Casual Sex App for Women

Bumble has garnered a lot of positive attention for being something completely different than the more popular Tinder app - a dating site where women make the first move and filter out the wrong type of guys right away.

Bumble attracts a higher membership of women to men and has an ingenious design to keep things respectful. You can join as a lonely person looking to mingle, or a business associate looking for networking opportunities, or just a friend looking for another friend.

Despite its clean reputation, Bumble is actually a great place to get freaky with hookups. Many men report they get more interaction on Bumble than Tinder - and it’s no coincidence that Bumble has a type: educated, well dressed, handsome, and considerate men who adore successful women.

Pros

• Higher female to male ratio
• Find friends, flings, or business buddies
• Women make the first chat move

Cons

• Some limitations on the free app version

8. Tinder - Best Sex Dating App

Honestly, Tinder is notorious and generally successful as a hookup app. But you also hear many complaints from men who don’t get the dates they want and women who feel overwhelmed with all the horny guys wanting attention. The best way to describe Tinder?

Not a bad place to meet an escort. Hey, escorting is part of the dating experience, at least if you’re in touch with reality as a horny guy seeking an NSA affair. If you’re a man who joins a dating website looking like Ron Perlman (but without the fame and fortune), don’t be surprised if no one responds to your messages.

Tinder sex escorts can’t come out and say what they are because of site rules. But it just so happens many people have spotted escorts all over Tinder who give men “going rates” in private messages. Some men are offended at the idea. Other men are...well, very willing to pay if they’re horny!

Pros

• Plenty of escorts
• Some flings
• Plenty of lurkers just testing the waters

Cons

• And yes, many fake profiles

9. Plenty of Fish - Best Free Adult Dating Site

Plenty of Fish is a fun site to use, especially if you’re trying to avoid paid sites but are also getting tired of using the roulette-style of Tinder and Bumble. Plenty of Fish is a compromise, offering both a member search as well as local matches and even nationwide dating.

The site also prides itself on being a matchmaker and asks a few invasive questions about family, job, income, and your interests so that it can match you up with like-minded users.

The relationship chemistry test complements the more random dating matches that other sites and apps offer. POF also offers a limited free version and virtual gifts for your crushes, as well as “points” you can earn just by using the site.

However, many users complain of the site’s lack of video chat, live chat, as well as no opportunity to verify your identity.

Pros

• Offers handy search filters
• Or Swipe-friendly local matches
• Includes a questionnaire for a deeper connection

Cons

• Many features require a premium membership

10. Reddit R4R - Best Free Hookup Personals

Reddit R4R is a welcome change to any user looking for a hookup that doesn’t want to go through the chore of signing up, posting photos, writing an impressive profile, and of course, paying. The best feature of Reddit is that it quickly lets you see new personal ads, and you can instantly start a dialog with the original poster.

Reddit also takes a community-oriented approach, however, and you have to abide by the posting rules if you hope to become a trusted member. Reddit doesn’t have the handy features of a membership dating website. However, the simplicity and instant conversation are what many users like about the site.

Pros

• Legit free dating site
• Instant chat, no membership limitations
• Moderators are standing by for safety

Cons

• Not much in the way of profiles

Runner Ups That Didn’t Make the Top 10 Hookup Site List

1. Fetlife - Fetlife is similar to Alt.com, except that it doesn’t stress membership fees as much.
2. Okcupid - Millennial-friendly hookup site that immediately asks for your deal breakers.
3. Craigslist Activities - Great place to meet spammers, horny guys, and occasionally a female.
4. Reddit BDSM r4r - The free and uncomplicated version of Alt and Fetlife, but Reddit-ized.
5. Dirty R4R - More dirty-minded than the usual R4R, focuses on hookups, swinging, and even roleplaying text partners.
6. Doublelist - A dating site similar in style to Craigslist but with more options.
7. Grindr - The gay male version of Tinder and is well known for easy local matching.
8. 420 Classifieds - If you enjoy pot, why not date someone cool and get high together?
9. Rubmaps - If you’re looking for something more than escorting and respectable dating, get a happy ending massage!
10. EliteSingles - Tired of dating losers? EliteSingles offers only “successful” singles for hooking up.
11. BangLocals - A newer local match app that sends flirts and texts straight to your phone but keeps things anonymous.
12. 2Fuck - Fast sign up and similar in style to Facebook, only with many more nudes.
13. Zoosk - Internationally famous, though well known for many fake profiles.
14. Fling.com - Not the most successful, but a relatively large database of users.
15. The League - New site that borrows info from your LinkedIn profile to find other horny professionals in big cities.

Guide‌ to Using Hookup Sites

If you haven’t seriously used a hookup dating site yet (but may have created a profile for kicks), it’s time to consider some tips on starting your horn dog adventure.

Hookup Sites That Have the Best Female to Male Ratio

Usually, more men use dating sites than women unless something unique about the site, such as Seeking.com. No wonder Seeking has a 4:1 ratio. Bumble has a slightly less impressive ratio, 7-3, but still gives women what they want. Immediate filtering and the ability to start a conversation on their terms.

Ashley Madison and What’s Your Price also have higher female-to-male ratios, considering their respective themes of “married and looking” and “dating auction.”

The Best 100% Free Hookup Site

Reddit is quickly gaining a reputation as the easiest and most honestly “free” website for dating. Sign up is very easy and doesn’t even require a questionnaire - just an email. There are also various subreddits to check out, such as R4R, Dirty Penpals, and BDSM R4R.

Fetlife is slightly more complex and has a signup process. However, dating is 100 percent free and doesn’t require any monthly subscription rate.

Defining the Best Hookup App

Depending on your personal preferences, any of these sites might be appealing. Statistically, however, most people prefer using Tinder, Bumble, or AFF for fast and easy mobile sites.

The Best Hookup Site for Getting Sex Tonight

If you’re alone tonight and don’t have days to kill writing a dating profile, then there are clearly a few apps/sites that stand out. What’s Your Price has the benefit of an arranged date, virtually a “blind date” where you outbid other competitors to take someone out.

Sex is not guaranteed, however. The only site where sex is very likely to happen will be RubMaps, or Tinder if you’re willing to date escorts, or even FetLife if you have a great dating profile and lots of photos.

The Best LGBTQ/Gay Hookup Site

Although OkCupid has a good following and many member profiles, the most popular LGBTQ apps are Grindr and Gays2Fuck for men, as well as “Her” for gay women or non-binary users.

Do People Still Use Hookup Online Dating Sites?

The most popular dating apps in the world are quickly becoming the most efficient way to date to filter out the wrong types and stop wasting time and money. They are the easiest ways to meet people who are local, who have things in common, and of course, who meet your minimum standard of sex appeal.

Getting Laid Using a Dating Site

Getting laid is, of course, a creative and physical challenge. No dating site guarantees you’re going to get a hookup, not even Ashley Madison. Maybe in Nevada, you’re guaranteed sex, or perhaps a massage parlor service. But you have to play the odds on real dating sites, even if you’re meeting escorts.

Be attractive. Be interesting. Be interested in learning your date’s personality and do your best to please them. Hopefully, that will turn into sex - whether it’s for one night or an FWB situation.

Online dating is the most efficient way to date because it allows you to customize your favorite types of dates, as well as the interests you have in common. It’s speed dating for the modern net-savvy era, and it works!

Casual Sex and NSA Rules

Part of successful hookup dating involves learning what NSA, hookup, and flings mean. By nature, casual dating means that there are no expectations, no follow-up required, and no-hassle!

That means it’s very frowned upon to arrange for a second date immediately after sex. It’s not a good idea to ask for a Friends with Benefits type of relationship. It’s not nice to assume your fling will be a short-term affair that continues until you get bored.

People might have commitments, either by marriage or even by travel. Be flexible, and don’t get pushy.

What is an NSA Hookup?

A No-Strings-Attached hookup means just that. No commitment, no expectations, and nothing implied or hoped for. The affair might last only one night and never again. That’s fine.

If you’re both interested, you can chat again, just as acquaintances, and gauge each other’s interest in revisiting the affair. Chances are, if your date didn’t block you, they are open to a second meeting.

Just play it by ear and don’t be afraid to date someone else, rather than clinging to someone you just had sex with. NSA dating is all about giving people the space they need.

How to Initiate a Hookup

Don’t assume that just because you write a message, you’re going to get laid. Even if you match for somebody, and even if you get a flirt text, you’re still in the hot seat. Be confident. Be thoughtful and have something interesting to say.

Half of the attraction is physical, and half is mental compatibility. Try to talk about things you have in common.

Then, just when you think your partner is getting seriously into the conversation - rather than keep chatting another week - it’s time to arrange to meet in person, in a public place. That’s how you escalate sexual tension and avoid the complication of romance.

Dangers of Online Dating

When meeting someone for the first time, always use caution. Remember to:

• Insist on meeting first in a public place
• Do not give them any information about where you live or your full name
• Do not get suckered into paying for anything outside of the date
• Don’t ever leave your drink or food unattended with a stranger

While you have to use your good judgment for planning a private location, always let a friend know where you’re going to be and something about your date.

What to Text Someone After a Hookup

It’s good etiquette to text your one-time lover after a hookup. The key is to keep it low key, sweet, and above all, not clingy or too weird. The calmer and upbeat you sound, without expectation of a second date, the better. Keep your texts short and appreciative of the experience.

How to Go from Hookup to Girlfriend

If you enjoyed your hookup and are interested in turning your hookup girl into a girlfriend (or boy toy into a boyfriend), you still have to play it cool.

First, gauge your partner's interest the next day by seeing if they message you back after the first polite text. If they do, respond with a simple text, something else fun and cool.

Then, if your partner seems interested in continuing the chat, engage her in conversation. After you talk for a while, you can hint at a second meeting, and once again, gauge the interest. Don’t push too hard if she doesn’t seem excited by the idea.

What if my date says nothing but still seems to like me?

If your date is too hard to read and doesn’t seem to send any other texts as a follow-up, the best thing to do is go back to the online dating site and keep busy. Make more friends. Like more pictures and stories. You can even occasionally (not all the time!) like your buddy’s status.

If your hookup buddy notices you are online, they may decide to chat you up again and possibly arrange another NSA date.

Which cities are best for hooking up?

The truth is, most dating apps word great in major cities, with a population of over a million. New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, Phoenix, Philadelphia, and other major metropolitan areas have the largest concentration of singles, marrieds, and poly people looking to date.

It is more difficult to find matches in rural locations where there are smaller populations. You may have to drive up to 50-500 miles to meet up with a potential match, especially on less well-known apps like Pure or Sex Messenger.

Is Casual Sex Healthy?

Well, let’s put it this way. When you’re 75 years old and retired, thinking back to the highlights of your life, do you want to be thinking about all the crazy mistakes you made dating in your youth? Or do you want to spend more time regretting all the opportunities you missed?

Frequently Asked Questions About Hooking Up

Before we conclude with our final thoughts, let’s answer a few more common questions.

Are any adult dating sites completely free?

Sites like Craigslist and Reddit offer free dating chat but very little in terms of moderation or verifying anything about profiles.

Are there any adult dating sites that are known scams?

While there are many scam sites on the internet, only the individual user knows if a particular dating site is a waste of time. For many, Craigslist is a waste of time. But even though fake profiles exist there, many people have found new friends, dates, and missed connections over the years.

What sex sites are free for women?

Many of the top dating sites offer women free memberships to upgrade their female-male ratio. Some of these sites include Tinder, Bumble, Match, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Seeking, Her. Hinge and Pure.

What personal information do hookup websites collect?

Each dating app differs in the specific information they collect. However, you can read the full disclosure on the site’s terms and conditions page.

Final Verdict on Hookup Sites

AdultFriendFinder made #1 on our list of legit free hookup sites because of its anonymity, safety, exciting features, extensive database, and brand name trust. If anyone out there is looking for a hookup, rest assured they’re on AFF, since that’s the go-to free site where your NSA lover is probably waiting to chat.

Our runners up also scored well according to their categories. Remember, there’s no reason to shut down your dating life, even if you’re going through rough times or are staying home because of COVID-19. Everyone is online right now, virtually dating because it is the most efficient way to find what your heart truly wants.