I Luv a Parade

Some of Barry Kern's earliest memories are of Mardi Gras parades. Not surprising since his dad, legendary New Orleans artist Blaine Kern is pretty much The Man responsible for our modern conception of what makes a float float. Kern has been designing for Mardi Gras Krewes since the late 1940s.

Floats in progress: The soon-to-be 2008 Orpheus Cocktail Concoctions Parade. (photo by: KXM)

Kern Studios President Barry Kern lays out plans for their company's Asian ground assault... Or maybe that's the Tokyo Disney parade? (photo by: KXM)

Located across the mighty Mississippi from NOLA in Algiers, Kern Studios is one hot hoppin' staging ground – especially during this time of year – as their crack team of designers and float builders ready for some of the wildest parades of the carnival season. The Studios also double as Blaine Kern's Mardi Gras World, a rentable event center and tourist destination which takes guests through the float making process, from design blueprints to goldleafing and lacing of thousands of delicate fiber optic lights onto massive, seemingly block-long structures. And their influence is felt the world over, as Kern designs novel sculptures for Disney, Universal Studios, the Las Vegas strip (this is son Barry's part of the biz). Even Mardi Gras Krewes Momus and Gambrinus as far away as Galveston boast Kern floats.

Our tour guide with Zulu icon. (photo by: KXM)

Oops, she did it again. You know they are going to make good use of this Britney Spears head this year. (photo by: KXM)

An interesting case: Has this bust of Michael Jackson been altered through the years to keep up with the many faces of Jacko? (photo by: KXM)

Homeboy representin' at the Mardi Gras! (photo by: KXM)

Our tour took us through previews of some of this year's Krewe themes. Aside from the elegance and playfulness of themes like Orpheus's hyper-chromatic Cocktail Concoctions (see first pic), the Krewes can be merciless with their rapier political jabs and satire. There is a reason why the elaborate Mardi Gras parades do not enjoy live network TV coverage. Macy's Thanksgiving or Tournament of Roses would blush at the Krewe's skewerings. No one is spared at Mardi Gras: pundits, politicians, corrupt capitalists, and misbehaving celebs alike.

Krewe of Zulu skewers with their caustic spoofs of minstral/mammy icons. (photo by: KXM)

Hermes and/or Mercury must have lead a mighty float in his day. (photo by: KXM)

One of the many contract artists wielding a mean styrofoam shaper at Kern Studios. (photo by: KXM)

Honor amongst women forbids me from revealing the theme of this year's Krewe of Muses parade. But like last year's Super Muses, no icon is safe from their sardonic aim. (We will tell you that if you go, prepare to shake thy booty.)