Up Too Early

Google Streetview fashion critique from West William Cannon

Wax on, wax off.
Wax on, wax off.

It’s kind of fun to imagine Mr. Miyagi running behind this woman in a gray sweat suit shouting, “Don’t forget breathe! Very important.” She has totally earned a Karate Kid personal training session with that samurai headband and high pony. Banzai, bitches!

Not only that, this woman is color coordinating like crazy! Note the purple accents on her top and running shoes. Ralph Macchio wishes he could have game like this. She also has spandex running shorts, which is a fairly bold move body confidence-wise. Sure, you may look taut and trim and well defined, but there’s always the awkward issue of moose knuckle or camel toe. No, they don’t print that on the spandex brochure. It’s a hard lesson you have to learn for yourself, either by having people laugh and point at your crotch at Smoothie King, or by watching old David Lee Roth videos.

The important thing to remember is that when you engage in a program of physical fitness, you get to show of body parts that would earn you a trip to the HR department at tour office. Don’t think those fellows driving that carpet truck don’t appreciate it either.

Luvdoc Fashion Index: 9.0 ( one point deduction for not wearing an armband iPod)

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for over 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

READ MORE
More by The Luv Doc
The Luv Doc: Moby Dick McConaughey
The Luv Doc: Moby Dick McConaughey
People have been spinning tall tales about celebrities in Austin for years

May 17, 2024

The Luv Doc: Ask the Muleskinner
The Luv Doc: Ask the Muleskinner
You go down there

May 10, 2024

KEYWORDS FOR THIS POST

Karate Kid, Mr. Miyagi, Austin, Fashion

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Keep up with happenings around town

Kevin Curtin's bimonthly cannabis musings

Austin's queerest news and events

Eric Goodman's Austin FC column, other soccer news

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle