Boozethugs Ain't Harmin' Me

Fusebox goes all noir with th' drank

Don't be givin' ME the high hat, ya louse.
Don't be givin' ME the high hat, ya louse.

Noir, baby.

Well … noir is, of course,
a word that's open to interpretation.

In this case, it's interpreted as an audience-interactive mini-play of double-crossed gangsters & the snub-nosed violence of love-triangle revenge played out in the cozy confines of Austin's Dive Bar, right there across from the venerable Dog & Duck Pub.

Drinks are also, of course, open to interpretation. And anyone who's done serious or at least thoughtful drinking knows they're best interpreted, cocktailwise, with the hands and tools of an expert. So how's Bar Congress's magisterial Jason Stevens sound to you, friend?

Yeah: If you didn't realize this before?
Fusebox Festival ain't fooling around.

Which explains last Sunday's tech rehearsal for this potent & potable gig,
to which I and a few other lucky citizens were invited – as beta testers.

So "The Decline and Fall of a Thug in Five Drinks" is written by local scribes Steve Moore and Zeb. L. West and interpreted by that West with a little help from the Dive Bar audience while barkeep Stevens concocts libations corresponding to certain points of the story.

If you experienced the story of gangsters Tommy and Ned played out at a party, you might enjoy it the way Victorians enjoyed parlor games back in the day, sure enough. But in the setting of a bar, with Stevens tripping the light mixological, with the silly/inspired bits spicing this eternal darkling narrative, you're going to be having a hell of a fine time that's only partly due to your increasing intoxication via vintage libations crafted by a man who knows what's up with getting down to basics.

These are what liquid diversions await you among the trips and tropes of
"Bottled in Bond: Decline and Fall of a Thug as Told in Five Drinks":

Applejack Collins: A drink for the whole mouth.
Champagne Cocktail: A drink for drunken joy, already on the fade.
The Pink Lady: A drink for yearning in vain.
The Lone Tree: A drink to undo the days.
Overholt Rye & Bitters: A drink for the death of fears.

Those, and the wacky underworld drama, served up amid a genre-appropriate music track compiled by KOOP Radio's Slappy Pinchbottom. Speak this sentence aloud, and it's the sound of recommendation.

Saturday, April 28th, 1pm.
Sunday, April 29, 6pm.

Here's mud in your eye, you dirty rats …

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for over 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

More by Wayne Alan Brenner
Visual Art Review: Stuffed Animal Rescue Foundation’s “The Still Life”
Visual Art Review: Stuffed Animal Rescue Foundation’s “The Still Life”
This charming exhibit rehabilitates neglected stuffies, then puts them to work creating art

March 22, 2024

Spider Sculptures, Gore Feasts, and More Arts Events
Spider Sculptures, Gore Feasts, and More Arts Events
Feed your art habit with these recommended events for the week

March 22, 2024


Decline & Fall of a Thug as Told in Five Drinks, Bottled in Bond, Jason Stevens, Steve Moore, Zeb L. West, Fusebox Festival, Austin, Texas, Digestible Feats, Dive Bar, rum, sodomy, and the lash

One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Keep up with happenings around town

Kevin Curtin's bimonthly cannabis musings

Austin's queerest news and events

Eric Goodman's Austin FC column, other soccer news

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle