Santa Claus said WHAT at Half Price Books?

Austin's top bibliophilic re-sellers go all jingley for you.

Is this the party to whom I'm jingling?
Is this the party to whom I'm jingling?

It's kind of like, uh, Dial-A-Santa …?

Except that it's also like Dial-A-Half-Price-Books-Employee and, when you do, you get to hear them regale you with a holiday-themed joke or a poem or song.

They're calling this thing Halfy Call-A-Days.

And, yes, just the punning name of it makes us groan like a dyspeptic wildebeest.

But you know what? We reckon that even the more Scroogey among us would agree: Shenanigans like these Half Price shenanigans are one of the reasons we love living deep in the heart of Austin, Texas …

OK, first you punch in 1-855-HPB-FONE.

And then … here's your telephonic menu, sir or madam:

Press One to hear a holiday greeting from the Half Price Books Santa Claus.

Press Two to hear “Twas the Night Before Christmas in the Bookstore,” an original parody poem written by Lease Renewal Manager Elizabeth Elkins and read by Tim Jernigan, Human Resources Director.

Press Three to hear “Up on the Housetop” performed by Steve Leach, the Half Price Books “Buy Guy.”

Press Four to hear a holiday joke from Stephen Danby, Corporate Customer Service Rep.

Press Five to hear “Auld Lang Syne” performed by “Caroling Marketeers” (aka Becky Gomez and Cecily Gordon)

Press Six to hear an original song performed by Jim Swayze.


NOTE: We're advised that the selection of options may change as the days go by,
but the above is what's available now. As a wise fat man once said: "Ho-ho-ho!"

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for over 36 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

More by Wayne Alan Brenner
Here’s Some Sound in Your Eye
Here’s Some Sound in Your Eye
Northern-Southern & Dimension Gallery: Austin Art-and-Audio Twofer

July 11, 2018

<i>Sabrina</i> by Nick Drnaso
Sabrina by Nick Drnaso
This machine is temperamental but it will give you things

July 10, 2018


Half Price Books, Holiday Shenanigans, Halfy Call-A-Days, Dial-A-Santa, Thank you, Alexander Graham Bell

AC Daily, Events and Promotions, Luvdoc Answers

Breaking news, recommended events, and more

Official Chronicle events, promotions, and giveaways

Updates for SXSW 2018

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle