The Luv Doc: On Top of Ol’ Sulky

Dear Luv Doc,

My boyfriend of two years has been treating me badly recently. Things are tense right now because he got laid off from his tech job and has been feeling depressed. He gets mad/sulky anytime I try to give him advice or encouragement. He will say something disrespectful or call me a name and I get mad and we start arguing, and he just goes quiet. He will sulk sometimes for days. After his last silent treatment, I sat down with him and said that he needs to start talking to me or we might need to break up. Well, he started talking to me all right. He blamed all his recent bad behavior on me. He said I emasculate him and treat him like an infant. As best as I could tell, I emasculate him by making more money than he does (even when he had a job) and my suggestions about improving his situation are infantilizing. I didn’t know what to say. I suppose I could be a better communicator, but I really haven’t ever spoken to him harshly or in a mean-spirited way. Again, I know he’s depressed about losing his job and he’s taking it out on me, but I am at my wits’ end about what to do for him. Can you help?

– The Emasculator

Who knew masculinity could be such a fragile flower? My wife has made more money than me from the get-go. I don’t find that emasculating. In fact, I’m not entirely sure what money has to do with masculinity at all, but perhaps some super-butch billionaire tech bro would be willing to share his wisdom on the subject. He would probably try to convince me those dudes on Duck Dynasty were a bunch of sissies before they became wealthy reality stars. All I know is that if it weren’t for my wife, I would most likely live in a van down by the river. It wouldn’t be the river running through this burg either, because riverfront property in Austin is pricey as fuck. At the very least I would have to go downriver – somewhere way past that Nazi camp that Elon Musk is developing out by Bastrop. If Elon were really a baller he would have snatched up some expensive East Austin real estate, but he didn’t because he knows he would have a bunch of libtard cucks all up in his business. I don’t know exactly what Elon has planned for his riverfront Swasticamp, but please, please, please, sweet baby Jesus, let it include a comedy club. I would spend a princely amount of Dogecoin to watch Elon perform an insanely awkward ten in front of his adoring DOGE minions. BRO, you’re SO funny!

With a bloviating shitbag for a president, a sycophantic fluffer for a vice president, a puffy, alabaster, tech bro baby daddy Nazi moonlighting as the brains of the Oval Office, and a legislative majority of spineless ass kissers, it might seem like decent male role models are in short supply, but they’re not. You just have to know what to look for. Whether male, female, or any part of the gender spectrum, the one thing that has always been true about effective, admirable people is that they get shit did. Nobody is erecting statues for pouty, whiny sad sacks who are always trying to blame someone else for their own misfortune. If those statues exist, they will probably soon be overlooking the driving range down in Lajitas.

So what do we do with your emasculated, infantilized boyfriend? You and me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You or I cannot get in his skin and go out there and find a new job or sense of self-esteem. I think I saw that in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. All you or I can do – and let’s be honest, I don’t have any skin (shudder) in this game, so all you can do is tell your boyfriend how you feel. How he feels is up to him. Yes, that might include being depressed and sulky. It might be that his depression gets so bad that you – or someone else – need to insist he see a mental health professional, but even that, ultimately, is up to him. Your positivity and encouragement – as long as it is sincere and comes from the heart – is never going to hurt, but being a full-time cheerleader can get really exhausting when you’re just shouting into the void. Hopefully you will find this comforting and not frustrating, but I think you’re on the right track. You’ve told him how you feel, now he just needs to do some soul-searching and decide who he is. Ideally that’s a person who doesn’t lose himself because of the opinions of others.