The Luv Doc: Strong off the Bench
An exciting opportunity to trot out a bunch of tired sports metaphors
By The Luv Doc, Fri., Jan. 21, 2022
Dear Luv Doc,
A few weeks ago me and my friends went to Houston for a Rockets game and then went to a beer bar to celebrate the win over the Wizards. The Rockets have been terrible this year, but at least they won the night we went. Anyway, I met a really attractive girl that night and ended up going back to her hotel room. She was also from Austin and was in Houston because she is a lawyer and was there on business for the law firm she works for. We have stayed in touch and have gone on a couple of dates since then and things are going well, but my friends keep telling me she is way out of my league. They're probably not wrong. She is two years older than me, really smart, and she is a lawyer and makes about twice as much money as I do. I am only a few years out of college and a low-level employee at a marketing company. I can see my friends' point that this is probably not going to work out, but I really like her. My friends say that she is going to get tired of me and break my heart and that I should cut the cord before she breaks my heart. I am a little worried that she might, but should I break it off just because it may not work out? That seems like a weak move. What do you think?
– Strong off the Bench
Your friends seem like a fun bunch of guys, but fuck 'em, they're probably just hating the game they didn't realize you had. As long as things are going well and she hasn't given you any reason to believe she intends to kick you to the curb, you should just relax, be yourself, and enjoy your time in the big leagues. Who knows? You might just be a pro player with great potential. If nothing else, your anxiety about your new hookup has provided me with the exciting opportunity to trot out a bunch of tired sports metaphors, so I consider that a big win. This copy pretty much writes itself.
But seriously, never should you ever bet against your own happiness based on unsubstantiated pessimism. That would be like Jalen Green not taking 3s because he never played college ball. To quote Michael Scott from The Office quoting Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Currently Jalen Green has a .306 shooting percentage from the 3-point line – that's 3 out of 10. Do you think that when he squares up outside the arc he's thinking, "Damn, I probably shouldn't take this shot because there is a 70% chance I won't make it?" I hope not.
I'm pretty sure that's college-level math anyway – at least it was for me, but I was an English major.
Anyway, the point is, even conceding that you're playing above your level is basically saying that she's playing below hers. It's a pernicious thought spiral, to say the least. Look, I don't even know you, but clearly you have enough game to pull a hot lawyer with an impressive salary, so even if you're just a "low-level employee at a marketing company," your stock is on the rise. You have potential. Possibly limitless potential. For all you and I know, you might be the next Michael Jordan of the marketing world. Try not to let that thought make you suicidal. The important thing to remember is the limitless potential bit. She might see that in you even if you and your friends don't. Maybe you should trust her judgment. After all, she does have a law degree.