The Austin Chronicle

Mr. Smarty Pants Knows

By Mr. Smarty Pants, February 15, 2019, Columns

Myra Franklin of Cardiff, Wales, has a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records for watching The Sound of Music on the big screen 940 times.

Ancient Romans got high off eating the salema porgy fish.

Pliny the Elder wrote in his Natural History that contact with menstrual blood "turns new wine sour, crops touched by it become barren, grafts die, seeds in gardens are dried up, the fruit of trees fall off, the edge of steel and the gleam of ivory are dulled, hives of bees die, even bronze and iron are at once seized by rust, and a horrible smell fills the air; to taste it drives dogs mad and infects their bites with an incurable poison."

An old Cold War joke: Stasi officers make such good taxi drivers because when you get in their car, they already know your name and where you live.

Cathy Smith, onetime backup singer, rock groupie, and dope dealer, who famously injected John Belushi in 1982 with the heroin/cocaine mixture that led to his death, is the former mistress of Canadian singer-songwriter Gordon Lightfoot. His hit song "Sundown" is about her.

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