The Austin Chronicle

The Luv Doc: Party Monster

Nothing good for you can come of this

By The Luv Doc, December 14, 2018, Columns

Dear Luv Doc,

When me and my ex used to be together she was always very critical of her "best" friend who was a social butterfly. This woman would be at all the big parties in town and would somehow end up in those party pics that are in Austin Monthly, Tribeza, etc. My ex would always complain about her being such an attention whore and say really mean things about her. Now I am seeing my ex's Instagram photos from those same kinds of parties with that same friend having a grand old time. I don't really care about her friend or the people she parties with, but I feel like I should call out my ex for being so duplicitous about her friend, even though I know it probably wouldn't do any good. What do you think? Bad idea?

Party Pic Pooper

OK, first things first: You need to stop creeping on your ex's Instagram account. In fact, you might want to avoid looking at her social media posts altogether. I get it. You may not be entirely over her. You might have some unresolved issues. You might ... OK, let's be frank here, you actually are considering trying to get revenge on her. If it isn't glaringly obvious how unhealthy that is, let me clarify: Nothing good for you can come of this.

Yes, you might be fantasizing about that "gotcha" moment when you sneak into some fancy socialite gathering, corner her, and publicly confront her with her shameless hypocrisy. I can assure you that moment will not go down the way you think it will. I mean, yes, you might feel a momentary cathartic rush and thrust your clenched fists in the air like you just won a prize fight, but I am fairly sure that everyone else in the room is going to be thinking, "What a dick."

They will be absolutely right. No matter how hurt you are by your ex – and for all I know she is a soulless, party-hopping, photobombing psychopath – you will not fix yourself by focusing on her. You definitely won't fix yourself by regularly checking up on her Instagram. Block that shit. Let her do her and you do you ... and ideally, once you're in a better place ... maybe you can do someone else, confident in your ability to recognize the red flag of someone obsessing about someone else's social media activity.

My bet is that all the complaining your ex was doing about her friend's partying was really just her envy bubbling to the surface in an ugly way. Then again, I could be wrong. She might have simply had a change of heart. The important takeaway here is that she is moving on ... and you should, too.

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