Queer culture has always been drawn to irreverence. Brandished as "outsiders," "freaks," and "perverts" by the mainstream, cis-het world for so long, queers and trans folks unite under our freak flags and laugh at the boring, brittle world of our hetero counterparts. One might argue drag culture is rooted in irreverent mocking of straight, pearl-clutching women. Today, our kind is much more accepted, even normalized (for better or worse), but that doesn't mean queers have lost our love of snark, sass, and absurdity. Take, for example, Friday's Princess Pageant at Cheer Up Charlies. This is not your typical frilly dresses and Miss Congeniality-like performance. Put on by a crew of queers led by socialite extraordinaire Ursula Lucadevjic, the event seeks to crown the 2017 Scene Queen. Contestants, Lucadevjic says, are encouraged to put on (or take off) their "best Princess wear and show off a talent." What type of talent, you ask? That's open to interpretation: "Someone could literally eat spaghetti onstage." Of course, it's not all tafata dresses and absurdities. Saturday, the Equality Alliance is hosting its first gala to raise funds for several local LGBTQ nonprofits – and Houston's Montrose Center in the wake of Harvey. Lastly, the first Central Texas Trans Health Conference is happening this weekend too. We just like our movements to be adorned with a little somethin'-somethin'.
War on the Catwalk: The Queens From Season 9 Catch the queens who put season 9 of Drag Race on the map. Thu., Sept. 14, 8pm. Paramount Theatre, 713 Congress. $28-153. www.dragfans.com.
Texas Mermaid Retreat A magical mermaid summer retreat that's raising funds for the Rainbow Railroad (a nonprofit helping LGBTQ folks escape persecution in Chechnya). Come with a tail or purchase one here. See site for details. Fri.-Sun., Sept. 15-17. University Camp, 1000 University Rd., Wimberley. $275. www.sirenalia.com.
Central Texas Transgender Health Conference An educational conference on helping, supporting, and providing affirming care to trans, GNC, and nonbinary patients. Fri.-Sat., Sept. 15-16, 8am-5pm. Austin Community College Eastview Campus, 3401 Webberville Rd. $35-175. www.texastransgenderhealth.org.
Bear 2 Bear Couples welcome, but this party is for all the single ladies (err, boys) looking to put a ring or a thing on it. Snap on a bracelet from Tapelenders (provided) to show yer interest. Fri., Sept. 15, 9pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free.
ToyBOX: Fall Into Pride Jump for (rescheduled) Pride, Chique Fil-Atio hosts a night of fall fun (temps be damned) with music and snark from DJ Isabella Von Black. Fri., Sept. 15, 9pm-12mid. Carousel Lounge, 1110 E. 52nd. www.fb.com/chiquesbox.
Drag Attack! A monthly armature drag contest. Sign yerself up for mentorship, makeovers, and lip sync practice. No experience required. Fri., Sept. 15, 10pm. Sellers Underground, 213 W. Fourth. Free.
Miss Cheer Up Charlies Pageant It-Gurl Ursula hosts the second annual pageant to crown this year's Scene Queen. Get ready for flair, hair, fancy gowns, and so much queer drama! Judges include Emily Lowe, Mia Shannonhouse, Menuda, and a surprise guest. Fri., Sept. 15, 10pm. Cheer Up Charlies, 900 Red River. $5 suggested donation (for Houston animal shelters).
Brunch, Beer, and Workout with Erica Nix If you're not sold on the title alone – we can't help you. Work out with Erica then stuff yer face. $1 from every pint gets donated to the Organization of Latin Trans Women in Texas. Sat., Sept. 16, 11am-1pm. St. Elmo Brewing Co., 440 E. St. Elmo.
Unite the Fight Gala 2017 The Equality Alliance hosts their inaugural gala to raise money for multiple LGBTQ orgs including Out Youth and Houston's Montrose Center. Sat., Sept. 16, 7-11:30pm. JW Marriott Austin, 110 E. Second. $100. www.theequalityalliance.com.
An Evening With Jeff Lutes A workshop on love strategies for healthy, happy, and resilient relationships. All couples (and singles) welcome. Sat., Sept. 16, 7:30-8:30pm. Journey IFC, 3009 Industrial Terrace. $10 suggested donation. www.journeyifc.com.
Papi’s Playhouse: Junk Food Junkies Reigning king (Jonah Archs) and queen (Anastasia Arsenic) defend their titles against would-be royalty. Sat., Sept. 16, 10pm. Carousel Lounge, 1110 E. 52nd. $5. www.papichurroatx.com.
Take a Dip Package Pool Party Get wet with the boyz of Q and the Kind Clinic. Free food, free sips, and DJ Screaming Color. Sun., Sept. 17. Package Menswear, 1114 W. Fifth. www.theqaustin.org.
Tuesday Tramp-oline Night An LGBTQ Social Jump-a-Thon. Think trampolines, rock wall, dodgeball, parkour, and way more. Bring your friends and meet a few new ones. Tue., Sept. 19, 7-9pm. Altitude Trampoline Park, 6800 West Gate Blvd.
Guerrilla Queer Bar: Queers Unite for Harvey #GQB is back with their first Cesar Chavez takeover! Bring some cash to help Counter Balance: ATX help Houstonians recover from Harvey. DJs, drink specials, and games – oh my! Drink. Talk. Hang out. Sparkle. Don't be a dick. Thu., Sept. 21, 6-10pm. Craftsman, 2000 E. Cesar Chavez. www.fb.com/wherethegirlsgoatx.
The Queer Queens of Qomedy See Poppy pop off with Sandra Valls and Crist Guzman. Some proceeds go to the Austin LGBTQ Center. Thu., Sept. 21, 7:30-9:30pm. Sellers Underground, 213 W. Fourth. $25-35. www.queerqueensofqomedy.com.
Austin Pride Parade 2017 They can reschedule our parade, but they'll never take our Pride. Better late than never, so come out and watch the procession in all its glittery, rainbow glory. Sat., Sept. 30, 8pm. 12th & Congress to Fourth Street. Free to $25. www.austinpride.org.
Plezzure Island Year 2 The plezzure krew is back for round two. Close out yer summer with a leztastic beach weekend complete with celezbian entertainers, games, and gals. Thu.-Sun., Sept. 28-Oct. 1. South Padre Island. $40-300. www.plezzureislandtexas.com.
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