The Luv Doc: The Hot, Fiery Furnace of American Stupidity

You should never trust the kind of woman who would go on a date with you

The Luv Doc: The Hot, Fiery Furnace of American Stupidity

Dear Luv Doc,

Been asking some ladies out lately. To my surprise, before said date occurs, I find out these women have boyfriends. Umm, what the fuck? I wonder if these women would give me their number so easily if their boyfriend was standing there? Hell, no. So trust is shot, right off the bat. It's 2017. I respect that. Call me old-fashioned, but if my gal gave her number to any guy she met, I'd call it grounds to move on. Keep your job while looking for a new one. Dump your guy before you give your number out?

– Grown Adults?


Dear GA, this is what comes of asking out ladies … or women … sometimes they have boyfriends. What are you going to do? You could hardly expect them to resist you more just because they're dating someone else, can you? I dare say not. Ladies and women are only human. That said, I am in agreement with you regarding the trust issue. You should never trust the kind of woman who would go on a date with you – whether she has a boyfriend or not.

As a matter of fact, I will go you one further. You should probably not go on a date with any woman or lady who tells you she has a boyfriend. I'm not just speaking from atop my moral high horse here. I am saying that dating someone who already has a boyfriend is not a good idea for either your mental or physical health. At the very least, you're going to be subject to bouts of paranoia and self-loathing, and the worst case scenarios can involve some really depraved and violent shit. Rejected lovers can get really creative.

Also, I am a little confused by your respect for 2017. Look, I've been living in this motherfucker, too, and it has been a huge shit sandwich so far. I will admit there might have been a few fleeting moments of optimism in early January, but ever since the inauguration it's just been an acrid, smelly golden shower of bad news. Even April the giraffe tried to hold off giving birth to her baby until 2020. She fell a few years short, but you have to respect her heroic efforts to protect her offspring from the hot, fiery furnace of American stupidity. As the old Russian proverb says, "The tallest blade of grass gets cut first," and giraffes are rightfully paranoid.

Lastly, I won't call you old-fashioned, but I am wondering why you have been "asking some ladies out lately" when you already have a gal … who, we can presume, doesn't give her phone number out to any guy she meets. This sounds like a blatant double standard to me. Why can't both of you give out your numbers … only selectively? There is probably a decent, thoughtful, well-mannered fellow like yourself out there somewhere that she might take a shine to. Similarly, if you keep rolling the dice with these ladies, you might eventually find one who will lie to you about her boyfriend. She sure would be a catch, wouldn't she?

Need some advice from the Luv Doc? Send your questions to the Luv Doc, or check out the Luv Doc Archive.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

READ MORE
More Luv Doc
The Luv Doc: Party Monster
The Luv Doc: Party Monster
Nothing good for you can come of this

The Luv Doc, Dec. 14, 2018

Luv Doc: Not a Planner
Luv Doc: Not a Planner
The Luv Doc talks about an OG social justice warrior from back in the day

Nov. 9, 2018

More The Luv Doc
Luv Doc: He Doesn’t Listen
Luv Doc: He Doesn’t Listen
The Luv Doc keeps a list to help him remember the things he will soon forget

The Luv Doc, March 22, 2019

Luv Doc: Drop Crotch
Luv Doc: Drop Crotch
The difficult conversations we don't have are often the ones that alter the course of our lives

The Luv Doc, March 15, 2019

KEYWORDS FOR THIS STORY

Luv Doc, Dan Hardick

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
NEWSLETTERS
One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

Updates for SXSW 2019

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle