The Luv Doc: Salad Fork

Dear Luv Doc,

My husband regularly uses his salad fork instead of his dinner fork when we go to a nice restaurant. I think he does it just to annoy me, but he claims the salad fork is like a Porsche and the dinner fork is like a Studebaker. I am not even sure what that means, which only further annoys me. Should I let this go, or can you give a definitive judgment on his behavior? He claims he will abide by your decision.

– Betty

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Betty, I believe your husband is alluding to the relative size and handling characteristics of the vehicles in question. The Porsche is generally a smaller framed sports car well suited for a variety of roads and driving conditions. It is especially known for its cornering ability which derives principally from its mid-engine design, which distributes the weight of the vehicle more evenly between the four tires. Porsches are favored by driving enthusiasts for their quickness and versatility.

Studebakers, on the other hand, whose design heyday is generally regarded to be the Twenties and Thirties, were generally perceived to be fast, elegant automobiles, but cumbersomely large and not well suited for a variety of road types and conditions.

In comparing these two types of automobiles, your husband was clearly alluding to the lighter weight and relative agility of the salad fork, which is generally the smaller of the two forks. It might interest you to know that there are a variety of other types of forks that can augment the traditional place setting – 13 in all – and that contrary to popular belief, the salad fork is only the sixth-longest fork, being smaller than the dinner, fish, lunch, lobster, and fruit forks, respectively.

When provided the option of a salad fork in your place setting, it is traditional to use the salad fork when the salad is served. Generally, salads are served prior to the main course. However, if, for instance, a diner is having only salad for the main course, the server will remove the dinner fork and leave the salad fork. In this instance, it would be perfectly acceptable to use the salad fork during the main course of the meal.

In your husband's case, however, it appears that he is disregarding proper dining etiquette entirely and basing his behavior on the utility of the cutlery in question, or so he would have you believe. In my most generous assessment, this makes him a bit of a sociopath. You should divorce him immediately and find a more refined gentleman who understands the value of good table manners.