Luv Doc: Worthless

Everyone is a snowflake and we all have something unique and special to contribute

Luv Doc: Worthless

Dear Luv Doc,

My boyfriend lost his job in November and has been moping about it ever since. He has all but given up looking for a job because he says the only jobs available are low-paying service industry jobs. I have offered to help him if he wants to go back to school and get a degree – he currently has a high school diploma and a few years of college – but he says he is too old to go back to school and he doesn't want me to support him. I don't know what to do. His moping is driving me crazy. I want him to be happy and I also want him out of the house. What should I do?

– Over It

First of all, it's a very tough thing to lose your job. If nothing else, it seriously fucks with your sense of self-worth. Yes, everyone is a snowflake and we all have something unique and special to contribute. That's why losing a shitty job feels extra shitty. Yes, on a cosmic level, having someone pay you to do a task is a pretty low goddamn bar to set for a contribution to humanity, but it's something. It's proof that you're needed – however little.

I totally get guys who just want to do their job, go home, crack a 40 and binge watch Broad City. Life is good. They've got a fridge full of Hot Pockets, a bag of boss weed, and a $200-a-month cable bill. They're fucking crushing it even if they spend eight hours a day on the wrong end of a shovel.

When you lay them off, those guys will look you dead in the eye and say, "Fuck you, man. I was looking for a job when I found this one." They're not all wound up in being the best dishwasher, construction helper, or sandwich maker because they know those jobs never last. They weren't meant to. Those jobs are just placeholders until we can build a decent, reliable, half-sentient robot. Once that happens, all bets are off. It's only a matter of time before we're all just energy pods in a vast robot power grid.

The point here is that your boyfriend isn't moping about not being able to find another slightly-less-than-shit job to fill his time until the robot apocalypse, but rather, he is suffering from an existential crisis. You can help him by reminding him what makes him special and useful and necessary in this world and in your life and in the lives of others.

If you can't do that, then you need to kick that motherfucker to the curb because he's worthless.

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Luv Doc, Dan Hardick

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