The Luv Doc: Beware the Righteous

Way worse than robots

The Luv Doc: Beware the Righteous

Dear Luv Doc,

I love my boyfriend and we get along most of the time, but every now and again we get into an argument about something or other and he will never admit he is wrong. Never. Not even a little bit. He will argue all night long and blame everyone and everything but himself – including me – but he will never simply admit that he is wrong. The result of every argument we have is that if I want it to end I have to say I am sorry and I have to be the one to change. Never him. And now he says he wants to put off planning our wedding until we can "work some things out." By "we" he means me, but he hasn't said what he wants "us" to work out. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. Should I surrender?

– White Flag


As much as I desperately want to tell you how wrong you are, I can't. I know there exists some minuscule statistical probability that you are always wrong – which would in turn make me wrong, but not even The Donald is wrong 100% of the time, and he's actually trying. After all, politically incorrect is still incorrect. I myself am wrong a sobering amount of the time, mainly because I think it's a fun challenge to actually try to remember shit with my mind rather than a Google search algorithm. It should come as no surprise that's a doomed operation from the get-go, but it keeps things interesting.

Nobody likes somebody who is right all the time – even if they are actually right all the time. At the very least, it's annoying. In a larger philosophical sense, it might well be what leads to the final showdown between humans and robots. Make no mistake, the robots are coming. In fact, they're already here. All over the world, every day, house pets fight pitched battles against soulless Roombas that have no concept of territorial sovereignty. Today, it's a shih tzu named Waffles heroically guarding his chew toy. Tomorrow, it's Sarah Connor with an M4 saving her toddler Johnny from that guy who looks like he just spilled out of a thermometer. Either way, the shit will be going down. It's inevitable.

Question is, whose side are you going to be on? Psalm 37:29 of the Bible says, "the righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein forever." Spooky shit, eh? Especially if "the righteous" are a bunch of mercurial robots hellbent on wiping the scourge of inherently flawed humanity from the face of the land.

I'm not saying your boyfriend is a robot. I think we can both agree that I would at least have to cut through his epidermis to make the call on that. He may, however, be something much worse. He could either be a) one of those people who truly believe they're always right, or b) one of those people who believe that to admit they're wrong is a sign of weakness. Now, as I stated earlier, I am wrong about half the time, but in this I am absolutely right: Both of those types of people are fucking psychopaths – way worse than robots. Get out now. Save yourself and your future John Connor.

Need some advice from the Luv Doc? Send your questions to the Luv Doc, or check out the Luv Doc Archive.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

READ MORE
More Luv Doc
The Luv Doc: Party Monster
The Luv Doc: Party Monster
Nothing good for you can come of this

The Luv Doc, Dec. 14, 2018

Luv Doc: Not a Planner
Luv Doc: Not a Planner
The Luv Doc talks about an OG social justice warrior from back in the day

Nov. 9, 2018

More The Luv Doc
The Luv Doc: Getting Over Someone
The Luv Doc: Getting Over Someone
We’re programmed to dream up worst-case scenarios as a survival mechanism

The Luv Doc, May 24, 2019

The Luv Doc: Two Spaces
The Luv Doc: Two Spaces
Secretly hoping it’s a 1988 Ford Escort with a whale fin spoiler

The Luv Doc, May 17, 2019

KEYWORDS FOR THIS STORY

Luv Doc, Dan Hardick

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
NEWSLETTERS
One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

Updates for SXSW 2019

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle