The Luv Doc: What's Right With the World

Even the prettiest of trophies get dusty eventually

The Luv Doc: What's Right With the World

Dear Luv Doc,

I have been trying online dating for a while now and I think I just need to give up. When I finally do meet guys, they only bear a mild resemblance to the person in their photos ... and it's never in a good way. Here's something else: You can't tell a person's hygiene from their online profile, but you sure can when you're sitting next to them in a crowded bar. The rare ones that do pass the looks/hygiene test often have some sort of personality disorder like ADD or extreme narcissism, or Peter Pan Syndrome. What am I doing wrong, Doc?

– Damsel in Distress


Not. One. Damn. Thing. You, Damsel, are what's right with the world. You are out there in the shit taking heavy fire. You're a goddamned American hero. While the rest of the dating world is curled up on a couch in a fetal position swiping left until their index finger is blistered, you're doing what it takes to actually find true love ... or a raging yeast infection. Bravo. It is incurable optimists like yourself who made this nation great: Roosevelt ... Kennedy ... Obama ... and in his own childlike, dopey, ill-informed way, even Ronald Reagan who, unlike the Donald, was smart enough to fake it until he made it ... and even after he made it. He should probably get a posthumous Oscar.

I fear for this great nation, Damsel – not just because ol' Dutch Reagan dismantled every decent social program of the previous half-century and sold arms to every despotic ruler short of Fidel Castro. No, Damsel, I fear for this nation because we seem to spend more time creating an image of who we want to appear to be rather than actually becoming who we want to be. Yes, it's great that with a few basic filters on Photoshop and a few carefully constructed, marginally factual sentences we can create an avatar of our better selves, but what about just creating a better self? Hooray! You learned Photoshop! There's something to build on at least.

Message to the dating world: Put in the fucking work, people. There may be a select few of you out there who are blessed with such unbelievable pulchritude that you can get by on your looks alone, but the rest of us have to score well in the talent and personality competitions to even be in the game. And, to be honest, even the prettiest of trophies get dusty eventually. If you want to be loved, you have to be lovable. You know what's fucking lovable? Ultimately? Substance. People who put in the fucking work. Decent people with good manners, a positive attitude, an open mind, a sense of wonderment, an appreciation of learning, and an enthusiasm for life that keeps them engaged and fulfilled even when – as they often do – things turn shitty. You know, like when you end up on a blind date with a foul-smelling narcissist with a Peter Pan complex.

Don't get discouraged, Damsel. You're on the right track. You keep digging through that slag heap and you're bound to find a diamond sometime.

Need some advice from the Luv Doc? Send your questions to the Luv Doc, check out the Luv Doc Archive, and subscribe to the Luv Doc Newsletter.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for over 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

READ MORE
More Luv Doc
The Luv Doc: Belief Is Magic
The Luv Doc: Belief Is Magic
Nobody comes to Jesus because of the rigorous scientific scrutiny of the Christian religion

The Luv Doc, Dec. 22, 2023

The Luv Doc: A Bad Look From Any Angle
The Luv Doc: A Bad Look From Any Angle
If you want to get to greener pastures, you’re going to have to slip past some barbed wire

The Luv Doc, Dec. 15, 2023

More The Luv Doc
The Luv Doc: Mother’s Approval
The Luv Doc: Mother’s Approval
Sadly, sometimes we have to parent our parents

The Luv Doc, July 19, 2024

The Luv Doc: Freedom Fry Day
The Luv Doc: Freedom Fry Day
Advice for the Fourth of July 2025

The Luv Doc, July 12, 2024

KEYWORDS FOR THIS STORY

Luv Doc, Dan Hardick

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Keep up with happenings around town

Kevin Curtin's bimonthly cannabis musings

Austin's queerest news and events

Eric Goodman's Austin FC column, other soccer news

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle