Gay Place: We Need Emma

Shrewd (not Rude) Productions and Rudy Ramirez give us Emma When You Need Her.

WE NEED HER RIGHT NOW

Oh, Emma, what would you say at the state of a state eating itself alive? Damn. Well, if you were here, we'd try to ease your seething and take you to MonkeyWrench, then Treasure City, all while KOOP and KAZI-FM blare out of our union-made hoopty. Sorry, grrrl. I know we've let you down. Shrewd Productions presents a tribute to Emma Goldman (see Thursday).

ON OUR GAYDAR

Mr. Cook's Strip-Off It's a competitive, amateur taking-off of the clothes. But we think Bobby stays clothed. Sorry. Does $300 in cash prizes make up for your disappointment? Thursdays, 12mid. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth.

Show Tunes Happy Hour OK, Ethel Merman, here's your lucky break. Third Thursdays, 5-9pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. Free. www.fb.com/rainon4th.

Happy Hour with Ms. Wright Kick your weekend off right. Thursdays and Fridays, 6-8pm. The Skylark Lounge, 2039 Airport. Free. www.fb.com/theskylarklounge.

Package & Buzztime Trivia What's in your package? Surely nothing trivial? Fashion show, too; flaunt it, Felicia. Thu., May 7, 7:30pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. Free. rainon4th@gmail.com.

Emma When You Need Her Rudy Ramirez directs this Shrewd Productions and Vortex Repertory celebration of the one and only Emma Goldman – and boy, do we need her. Thu.-Sun., May 7-10 & 14-16, 8pm. The Vortex, 2307 Manor Rd., 512/478-5282. $10-30. www.fb.com/shrewds.austin.

Patrice Pike Take a hike, and see the Pike. Thursdays, 8-10pm. Saxon Pub, 1320 S. Lamar. www.fb.com/patricepikeband.

Stripper Circus Go ahead. Step right up, and hum "I'm in Love With a Stripper" all the way home. Thursdays, 10pm-3am. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth.

Girlfriend FRIDAYs Head north for DJ S.I.R. hittin' the BTII wheels so hard, they fall off the dang cart. Fridays. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. Free. www.sirwithlove.tumblr.com, www.fb.com/girlfriendatx.

Big Boi Yoga Hey, hey, Boo Boo, is your yogi a bear? Come Hatha flow with the handsome, gingerly JohnMark and modifications for big bodies (big bois, ladybears, et al). Saturdays, 11am; Mondays, 7pm. The New Cycleast, 1619 E. Cesar Chavez. $10 class, $30 unltd. monthly. www.fb.com/groups/bigboiyoga.

BPM Saturdays DJ BigFace and Boys of ATX prance and pace. Saturdays, 9pm. Highland Lounge, 404 Colorado. Free.

BUTCH QUEEN Contestants will be paired with drag moms to learn the ins and outs, then given three minutes to strut what their mama gave them. $150 prize for the top team. Sat., May 9, 10pm. Cheer Up Charlies, 900 Red River. $5.

The Boys of Austin Dance Still Dirty. Still Filthy. Supastar DJ Filthy Rich spins gobs of gay gold. Just gobs of it. Saturdays, 10pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth.

A League of Our Own Nothing soft about these balls! Support your peeps as they play the heck out of some softball. Sundays, 1pm. Monroe E. "Lefty" Krieg Softball and Athletic Complex, 515 S. Pleasant Valley. www.softballaustin.org.

Prime Timers ¡Hola, Papi! Mature gay men meet monthly. 3pm. Atria at the Arboretum, 9306 Great Hills Trail, 512/346-4900. Free. www.austinptww.org.

Bring Your Loved Ones Potluck It's an OY open house. Bring a dish and meet the gang at Austin's beloved drop-in center for Q and questioning youth. (After 5pm is for the young ones only.) Sundays. Out Youth, 909 E. 49½, 512/419-1233. www.outyouth.org.

Free Burgers & Sunday Funday Drink specials start at 2pm followed by free burgers on the patio at 4pm. Pass the T. Sundays, 4-8pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. Free. www.bouttime2.com.

AGLCC Toastmasters Our local gay chamber of commerce is home to one of the country's fastest-growing LGBT Toastmaster groups. Second Mondays, 5:45pm. Ballet Austin, 501 W. Third, 512/476-9151. www.aglcc.org/toastmasters.

Free HIV/STD Testing Keep it clean, fellas! Know your status! Tuesdays, 1-4pm & 8-11pm & Fridays, 1-4pm. Midtowne Spa, 5815 Airport, 512/302-9696. www.midtowne.com.

TuezGayz Dependably fruitastic: Austin's legendary weekly weekday gay night on Red River. Tuesdays, 9pm. Barbarella, 615 Red River. www.fb.com/barbarella.austin.9.

Queerdalini Yoga for those who'd prefer to focus on chi rather than he or she. Mondays, 7:30pm. Soma Vida, 1210 Rosewood, 512/628-1580. $5+ donations. www.fb.com/groups/qyogaaustin.

PFLAG North Meet-and-greet with fellow allies in the cause for love. Second Tuesday of every month, 6:45pm. Live Oak Unitarian Universalist, 3315 El Salido, Cedar Park, 512/302-3524. Free. www.pflagaustin.org.

Sushi Coochi Drag Queen Bingo It's the monthly FUNdraiser for Pride. Second Tuesdays, 7pm. Bambu Austin, 310 Colorado. Free. www.fb.com/austinpride.

Texas Hold 'Em Tourneys Twice a week, at two different gay bars, Wild West presents puh-puh-puh-poker for your poker face. Tuesdays, 8pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth; Thursdays, 8pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. www.fb.com/wildwestcasinogames/events.

Foreplay Kara Foxx hosts and DJ Eriq Stylez spinz. Tuesdays. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth.

Planet Fabulous Karaoke Karaoke's grande dame is back and humpin' for Hump Day at the 'Bear. Wednesdays, 9:30pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free. roger@theironbear.com.

Stonewall Democrats Happy Hour Mix and mingle with politically curious creatures. Second Wednesdays, 6-8:30pm. Brass House, 115 San Jacinto. www.stonewallaustin.org.

PFLAG South Monthly Meeting Family is nice; allied family is love. PFLAG represents the best of our community. Second Thursdays, 6:30-9pm. Faith Presbyterian Church, 1314 E. Oltorf. Free.

HO-RIZON

"Iconic Musicians/The Smiths & Friends" Photos by Stephen Wright. In addition to mopey Mo' and pals, there's more, including New Order, Madonna, Miles Davis, Prince, John Lydon of Public Image Limited, and Bono of U2. Show runs through May 23. Modern Rocks Gallery, Bldg. 3, #103, 512/524-1488. Free. www.modernrocksgallery.com.

Mr. & Miss Austin Pride Pageant 2015 Who will represent Austin Pride this year? Who will win the title and perform on the main stage in front of thousands at Austin Pride in late August? You? You? You? Time to enter! Kelly Kline hosts and RuPaul's Raven makes a special guest appearance. Not bad company to keep. What are you waiting for? Shine up those cha-cha heels right meow! Wed., June 3, 10pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth. Free. www.austinpride.org.