Lumberjacks, queens, and Mom Jeans: Keep those receipts, kids
The holidays bring out the queens – local and nationally touring – in all genders, in all of us – even lumberjacks.
ON OUR GAYDAR
Ms. Thelma Houston A Christmas gift from Larry and the OCH gang to the rest of us: the diva who made it cool to implore, "Don't Leave Me This Way," and a holiday party to remember. Thu., Dec. 11, 6pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth. Free. www.thelmahouston.com.
Minor Mishap Lumbersexuality File this fashion show/pedicab parade under "not necessarily gay, per se." But don't let that stop you: The eye and ear candy will be out in force to raise dough for a pal whose power tools were stolen. We want to see you smize, beardy! Thu., Dec. 11, 8pm. The Chestnut Theater, 1619 E. Cesar Chavez. $5. www.fb.com/minormishapmarchingband.
Mom Jeans With Machete Western and Desperate Living. Thu., Dec. 11, 9pm. Chain Drive, 84 East Ave. (I-35 access road).
Rain Turns 10: Grindr Down & Dirty Strip off with Bobby, Gemini, and DJ Protege. Thu., Dec. 11, 9pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. www.rainon4th.com.
The Goddess Games The Dream Girls crew breaks into teams and begins a series of drag-to-the-death matches, climaxing into a February finale. Thursdays. V Nightclub, 409 Colorado. www.fb.com/vnightclubatx.
ATX Vegan Drinks Holiday Party Arlo's & CUC quenches and keeps the season bright. Fri., Dec. 12, 7-9pm. Cheer Up Charlie's, 900 Red River.
THIS IS A BOOK FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS PFLAGers and pals rejoice: "Everyone Is Gay" co-founders Dannielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo present their latest book. Fri., Dec. 12, 7pm. BookWoman, 5501 N. Lamar. Free. www.fb.com/parentsproject.
The Normal Heart Texas State's Golden Effeminates (you read right) present Larry Kramer's infuriating classic. Fri., Dec. 12, 7:30pm. Texas State University Mainstage, 430 N. Moon, San Marcos, 512/245-2204. Free; donations to amFAR. www.texasstatetheatre.com.
Love. at the Stateside The spotlight rotates as Ginger Leigh, Wendy Colonna, Patrice Pike, Hedda Layne, and Shelley King shine, shine, shine, shine, and shine. Fri., Dec. 12, 8pm. Stateside at the Paramount, 719 Congress. www.loveatthestateside.com.
Rain Turns 10: Happy Hour Buffet DJ Havoc, 9pm-1am; DJ J Warren after hours. Fri., Dec. 12, 9pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. www.rainon4th.com.
Poo Poo Platter's 90s Edition: Cowa-Dung-A! The Poops get yanked back to the decade NatGo calls the last "great" one (blue Gap dresses with gloopy stains optional). DJ Girlfriend spins like you're 12 (which you probably were back then). Word. Fri., Dec. 12, 10pm. Elysium, 705 Red River. $5. www.fb.com/poopooatx.
Free Mammograms/Mamografia Gratis Your girls: stick 'em in, squoosh 'em down, get 'em checked. For free at ALLGO. Sat., Dec. 13, 8am-3pm. ALLGO, 701 Tillery, RSVP to qualify required: 512/324-3375. Free (appointment only).
Big Gay Brunch: Jingle Ball The holiday edition of this serial/cereal event: Bring an unwrapped toy for a child, and get a free raffle ticket for your chance at swag. Sat., Dec. 13, 11am-3pm. 219 West, 612 W. Sixth. www.fb.com/abcdeevents.
Season's BeatingS Texas Roller Derby hosts wreck league skaters plus a mash-up of TXRD regulars in this holiday-themed round of bouts. Bring new toys for Austin Operation Blue Santa. Sat., Dec. 13, 3:30pm. The Thunderdome, 9402 United. $7. www.txrd.com.
Making Austin HERstory Film Showcase What began as a social media campaign ("Women of the Week Wednesdays") is now an event for gathering and sharing. Sat., Dec. 13, 6-9pm. Women's Community Center, 1704 San Antonio St., 512/284-9221. $3 suggested donation. www.womenscommunityctx.org.
The Night Before Twerkmas Welp, apparently there is a holiday called Twerkmas, and it happens on Dec. 14, because this bootyful event happens the night before. Gorgeous Glam Bear, Dino Foxx hosts with mosts. Most likely to stun. Sat., Dec. 13, 8pm. North Door, 502 Brushy. $10-20. www.ndvenue.com.
Naughty or Nice/Glenn Eaddy Toy Drive Drop Get spun out by Aussie bear DJ Scott Anderson as Beargasm presents your chance to face the music. Santa will be there to spank the naughties, and nice 'uns can drop dough for Toys for Tots ... and still get spanked. Bring unwrapped gifts so Glenn Eaddy can do what he do. Sat., Dec. 13, 9pm-2am. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. www.theironbear.com.
Rain Turns 10: Filthy & J. Warren DJ Filthy Rich, 9pm-1am; DJ J. Warren, after hours. Sat., Dec. 13, 9pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. www.rainon4th.com.
Kings 'n Things Alliday Show Ursulate your allidays with this dragtastic annual event. Ursula hosts the Kings wrapping up your year with a bow. Sat., Dec. 13, 10pm. Elysium, 705 Red River. $5-7 sliding scale donation. www.fb.com/kingsnthings.
Austin Zine Fest 2014 Thumb your way through Austin (and beyond)'s literary subculture, DIY-style. We know Vagina will be there. (The zine.) Sun., Dec. 14, 12-4pm. George Washington Carver Museum and Cultural Center, 1165 Angelina, 512/974-4926. Free. www.austinzinefest.com.
A Tammie Brown Christmas Watch out, Charlie, Tammie Brown is coming to town with her face-spackle and her world-famous Holiday Sparkle concert with silent auction to benefit the Austin International Drag Foundation. Sun., Dec. 14, 6pm. V Nightclub, 409 Colorado. $25, $20 in advance, $200 VIP (table for four, a designated server, swag bag, etc.). www.tammiebrownchristmas.com.
A Very Pink Christmas The Austin Babtist Women are in the pink (not in the stink!) once again for the holidays to benefit the Breast Cancer Resource Center. Sun., Dec. 14, 7pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth. www.oilcanharrys.com.
PRETTY VACANT Queer up your punk with Sassy Goose, DJ Nigel, and your hosts DJs False Flag and Young Creature. Sun., Dec. 14, 10pm-2am. Chain Drive, 84 East Ave. (I-35 access road).
CapitalCityQSocials Holiday Gala Get holiday crunk (prizes, surprizes, and appetizes, yo) with the Social Qs and a special mini-concert by Capital City Men's Chorus. Mon., Dec. 15, 7-10pm. Hyatt Regency Austin, 208 Barton Springs Rd. www.capitalcityqsocials.com, www.ccmcaustin.org.
Maydee's Cookie Decorating Party Free admission, free parking, and free cookies. Decorate away to the sounds of Dozen regulars, the Holy Child. Tue., Dec. 16, 6pm. Dozen Street. Free. www.reverbnation.com/theholychild.
Vintage Virgin-day This special winter installation of the Getting to Know the Goddess series promises lots of surprises, including pocket altars, San Antonio poet Natalia Trevino, and the return of one particular Girl in a Nose. In other words: a feminist can't-miss holiday spectacular. Wed., Dec. 17, 6:45-8:45pm. BookWoman, 5501 N. Lamar. Free.
AGLCC Holiday Party & Awards Dinner Another batch of chamber awards (including the inaugural "Jimmy") and a chance to glance at the new board. Mix and mingle with a ho-ho jingle and tell the AGLCC a unicorn sent you. Thu., Dec. 18, 6:30-8:30pm. Renaissance Austin Hotel, 9721 Arboretum Blvd. $75.
December BedPost Confessions Guest emcee Nikki DaVaughn hosts the BPers first-ever deaf performer Paul Shreeman, ASL interpreter and ukulele queen Jessica Graves, the Gay Place's own brillzy art prof Andy Campbell, and cellist and all-around badass Jen Mulhern. Thu., Dec. 18, 8pm. North Door, 502 Brushy. $10. www.fb.com/bedpostconfessions.
HAPPY NEW QUEER Keep your eyes peeled on the Ho-Rizon, as we'll be advanced-listing some New Year's options over the next few issues: A*Fab, DJs Fine & Dandy, OCH, Justine's, Lesbian Wedding, and so much more. austinchronicle.com/gay, austinchronicle.com/newyear.
The Gay Place loves you; keep those cards and letters comin’.