The Luv Doc: To Tell The Truth

If your GF actually cared what you thought, she would have asked you before she bought that dress

The Luv Doc: To Tell The Truth

Dear Luv Doc,
Despite all the advice I received from sitcoms and comedians, I told my GF that I didn’t like a particular dress that she wanted to wear after she asked my opinion. What is the proper response? Should you lie if you don’t like it?
- Big Trouble

I’ll bet your ass is in a sling right now, isn’t it BT? Why? Because you didn’t do your homework. Well, OK, you get partial credit with the sitcoms and comedians thing - and I am hoping you’re referring to shows like Seinfeld and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and comedians like Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison. Those are definitely treasure troves of good information on relationships, but to get a well-rounded education you need to be in the shit. You need to get that 1000 yard stare that only comes with maintaining a relationship over decades. Don’t worry, bro, I got your back.

In this case, it sounds to me like you dissed a dress your GF already owned. That’s just knuckle-dragging stupid. Please tell me you have a drool bucket strapped under your chin and your GF is either your sister or your first cousin. Tell me you’re a juggalo or something because otherwise dude, WTF? Imagine if you spent two hours at Stag picking out a pair of $300 Ralph Lauren Stillwaters only to have your girlfriend say they make you look pudgy, you’d be miffed too - especially if you waited a couple of months to finally trot them out.

See, the thing is, if your GF actually cared what you thought, she would have asked you before she bought that dress - or at least before she couldn’t return it. But no, that shit has been in her closet for at least half a year. She owns it. How do you know? Does it have a motherfucking price tag on it? Exactly. So, much like when someone asks advice about relationships (or pretty much any advice, really) what she is really seeking is an affirmation of her decision - a knowing agreement that fate/good taste/common sense led her inevitably to choose that particular dress for this particular occasion. And it looks what? Magnificent - or at least slightly less so than the girl who is wearing it.

If for some reason you feel it would be a crime against humanity to let her leave the house wearing the dress in question, you may say it’s magnificent, but not quite as magnificent as another dress in her wardrobe that you have seen her wear at least a few times before. If you cannot describe another dress in her wardrobe, you are fucked. You are going to have to tell the truth. Be gentle though, whatever you say will be an indictment of either her looks or her taste.

Need some advice from the Luv Doc? Send your questions to the Luv Doc, check out the Luv Doc Archive, and subscribe to the Luv Doc Newsletter.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for over 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

More The Luv Doc
The Luv Doc: Secret Traditional Family Birthday
The Luv Doc: Secret Traditional Family Birthday
The Luv Doc’s family is already blessed – with a history of heart disease

The Luv Doc, Sept. 29, 2023

The Luv Doc: A Sick Person
The Luv Doc: A Sick Person
One of our freedoms is the freedom to be obstinately modest

The Luv Doc, Sept. 22, 2023

One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Keep up with happenings around town

Kevin Curtin's bimonthly cannabis musings

Austin's queerest news and events

Eric Goodman's Austin FC column, other soccer news

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle