That could apply to many of you, but this week, it's directed at ol' Leslie. That's why the annual Thong Jog makes us grin like snaggle-toothed, bearded crossdressers in UT cheerleader outfits.
THE THONG JOG LAUNCH PARTY Honor the memory of our beloved Leslie with as little clothing as you can. Come kick off the lead-up to this jog of butt-cheeky fun. Thu., May 8, 10am. Package Menswear, 1114 W. Fifth, 512/554-7508. $25. www.austinthongjog.com.
HAPPY HOUR WITH MS. WRIGHT Thursdays and Fridays, 6-8pm. The Skylark Lounge, 2039 Airport. Free.
PFLAG SOUTH MONTHLY MEETING Family is nice; allied family is love. Second Thursdays, 6:30-9pm. Faith Presbyterian, 1314 E. Oltorf, 512/444-1314. Free. www.pflag-austin.org
SMALL BUSINESS SUPPORTS JIMMY Recent AGLCC prez Jimmy Flannigan is running for Austin City Council, District 6. We know he's solid on LGBTQ issues; come learn what his priorities are for small biz and transpo. Thu., May 8, 6:30-8:30pm. Design It With Consignment, 4211 S. Lamar, Ste. A-23. Free. www.facebook.com/flanniganforaustin.
CHURCH OF THE PASSIONATE CAT Underbelly and Rude Fusion present this jazz-age film noir detective whodunit. Thu.-Sun., May 8-11 and 15-18, 8pm; Saturdays, second show at 10pm. The Off Center, 2211-A Hidalgo. $15, $10 students. www.facebook.com/underbellytheatre.
PAUL VAN DYK PvD, baby, and his latest Evolution. Featuring the GoGo Gadgettes. Put on your 1999 boots, darlin'. Thu., May 8, 9pm-2am. Republic Live, 301 W. Fifth. $20. facebook.com/realmusiceventstx.
POO POO PLATTERS' DRAG DISGRACE Call it what you will (big fake-eyelashed wink), but it's the second annual pageant of Poopriffic proportions and featuring reigning Sequin de Mayo queen, Lavender LaFleur, in her farewell performance amidst the usual unusual cast of characters competing for a slot at Bushwig. Fri., May 9, 10pm. Elysium, 705 Red River. $5. www.facebook.com/poopooatx, www.bushwig.com.
LIBERACE & DOODLES BIRTHDAY SALUTE Dennis Campa and Taylor Cage (from back in the day, Austin's best queer show, Queer Waves) pay tribute to Doodles and Lee in this annual show. Tune in, Mary. Sat., May 10, 1-2pm. KOOP 91.7FM. www.koop.org.
A SPECIAL GET DOWN WITH GBMOJO Ginger Doss & Bekah Kelso at Stevie B's place. Sat., May 10, 7-9pm. Bear's Lair, 11505 Circle Bend Dr. $16. www.facebook.com/thebearslair.
BEARRACUDA AUSTIN This is the big one, quite literally, li'l cubs, featuring DJin' from Nakia, C-Rail, and the one and only Christeene. Sat., May 10, 9pm. Chain Drive, 504 Willow. $5. www.bearracuda.com/austin.
GLOW: BLACK LIGHT PARTY The Lone Star Bears, all aglow and wearin' white so you can feel your way around in the dark. Sat., May 10, 9pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free. www.lonestarbears.com.
SUNDAY CHURCH Althea Trix wants to get an AMEN. And some men. Burlesque, drag and a Champagne train. PREACH! Sundays, 6-9pm. Castro's Warehouse, 213 W. Fourth. Free.
SUPER SUNDAYS DIVA & TRINITY K BONET Join Kelly Kline and Jenny McCall for a night of divinity featuring Ru queen TKB. Sundays, 10:30pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth. Free. www.oilcanharrys.com. www.facebook.com/trinitykbonet.
AGLCC TOASTMASTERS One of the country's fastest-growing LGBT Toastmaster groups. Second and fourth Mondays, 5:45pm. Ballet Austin, 501 W. Third. www.aglcc.org/toastmasters.
DRINK-N-DRAG Xacora Cayne hosts. Weekly performers include: Jame Perry, Mai Flirt, Brandi Williams, Cici Carerra Ortiz, and Kara Foxx Paris. Tuesdays, 11pm. Mister Tramps, 8565 Research. Free. www.eventsxtreme.net.
ALLGO SCREENING: 'TENSION SEXUAL NO RESUELTA' Mexican-produced, Spanish-language romantic drama. Tue., May 13, 6:30-9pm. ALLGO, 701 Tillery, 512/472-2001. Free. www.allgo.org.
TUEZGAYZ Austin's legendary weekly weekday gay night. Tuesdays, 9pm. Barbarella, 615 Red River, 512/476-7766. www.facebook.com/barbarellaatx.
PFLAG NORTH Allies in the cause for love. Second Tuesday of every month, 6:45pm. Live Oak Unitarian, 3315 El Salido, Cedar Park. Free. www.pflag-austin.org.
CODA Codependent, gay, bi men meet. Tuesdays, 7pm. Trinity United, 4001 Speedway. www.codatexas.org.
GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE SUM(MER) Lesbutante & the Boss say school's out for summer, baby. Wed., May 14, 7-10pm. Upstairs on Trinity, 601 Trinity. www.facebook.com/thelesbutanteandtheboss.
QUEER RIDE Search QR on Facebook for up-to-date details on meeting spots and stops of this weekly ride. Wednesdays, 7pm. Long Center for the Performing Arts, 701 W. Riverside. Free.
SAN MARCOS PRIDE 2014 NEEDS YOU! The kids behind Rainbow Night have been hard at work getting this together for mid-2014 and all's they need is you. Hey, Bobcat Qs, allies, and Austinites who just want to see neighbor pals enjoy the same tolerance and acceptance we feel here in the big city, come lend a hand. San Marcos Pride seeks volunteers, performers, graphic designers and printers, hotel partnerships, vendors, and especially $ponsor$. Call or email Silvia. Let's do this. Coming Summer or early Fall, 2014. 512/644-5637. firstname.lastname@example.org.
STONEWALL CELEBRATION Austin Pride hosts their fourth annual remembrance of Stonewall with readings and performances, solemn and silly, wistful and wonderful, poignant and proud. Join us on the capitol steps. Thu., June 26, 7-8pm. Texas State Capitol, 1100 Congress. www.facebook.com/austinpride.
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