Happy Labor Day Weekend! Time to stock up on vitamin E as Austin's annual Splash Days mark the start of Austin PRIDE Week 2013. Woof! Grrr! Meeeeow!
MR. COOK'S STRIP-OFF It's a competitive, amateur tease. But we think Bobby stays clothed. Sorry. Thursdays, 12mid. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth.
HAPPY HOUR WITH MS. WRIGHT The legendary Margaret Wright on the black & whites is a great way to head into the weekend. Thursdays and Fridays, 6-8pm. The Skylark Lounge, 2039 Airport. Free.
AUSTIN CHILL: WEEKEND OF BEAR BROTHERHOOD An entire weekend of woof, with limos, breakfasts, hotel room hijinx, and anything else you smarter-than-the-average bears can get your paws into. Special guests from "Where the Bears Are" will make the weekend as sweet as honey. Through Mon., Sept. 2. Howard Johnson Plaza Hotel, 7800 N. I-35. www.lonestarbears.com/bbh.
SWEET GWENDOLYN EROTIC ART Lady Gwendolyn shall school you in the art of your people. Your naked, rimming, humping, grunting, sweating, sucking, loving people. Oh, and free food. Thu., Aug. 29, 7pm. The Q, 3408 West, 512/420-8557. Free.
ELECTRIC VAMPIRE VIP DANCE PARTY If Beat Imprint and DJ John Gomi suck, it's just your blood. Thu., Aug. 29, 11pm-2am. Spider House Ballroom, 2906 Fruth. Free.
SPLASH DAYS 2013 DJs, hotel hullaballoo, and two days/nights of peelin' down to your skivvs, on and off the dancefloor, in and out of Hippie Hollow. Last tan, boys, make it a good one. Sat.-Sun., Aug. 31-Sept. 1. $120 for all events. email@example.com, www.splashdays.com.
BEAR PARTY BARGE Lone Star Bears host a loveable boat. Try not to congregate all on one side of the craft, fellas. You'll thank us (in dry chones). Sat., Aug. 31, 11:30am-3:30pm. Lake Travis. www.lonestarbears.com/party-barge.
DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS WOMEN Area punks Bipolar Gentlemen, Modfather, El Pathos, and Punkaroos stand with Texas women and throw a Planned Parenthood benefit. Yeehaw! Sat., Aug. 31, 8pm. Infest, 213 W. Fifth. $10.
SPLASH DANCE DJ Grind will make you ... you know, grind. Sat., Aug. 31, 10pm-3am. Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces. www.splashdays.com.
SPLASH DAYS: ADULT SWIM DJ Seth Cooper keeps you afterpartyin' til the dawn's early light. Sun., Aug. 31, 3-7am. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. www.splashdays.com.
SPLASH DAYS: GET WET The hallowed day at the Hollow, au naturel or SPF'd up to your neck. It's the splishing, splashing hoop-de-doo that makes Splash Splash. Sun., Sept. 1, all day. Hippie Hollow, 7000 Comanche Trail. www.splashdays.com.
SPLASH DAYS: HIGH TIDE Supahstah DJ Roland Belmares dries you out and gets you all wet again. Sun., Sept. 1, 10pm-4am. Republic Live, 301 W. Fifth. www.splashdays.com.
GEORGE TAKEI SIGNING OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! Mon., Sept. 2, 4-6pm. Dragon's Lair Comics & Fantasy, 2438 W. Anderson Lane Ste. B-1, 512/454-2399. www.georgetakei.com, www.dlair.net.
PRIDE & POLARI PRESENT: 'BRIDEGROOM' & 'PEACHES DOES HERSELF' Shane Bitney Crone will be in attendance for this doc about the emotional YouTube vid. Then the infamous Peaches is the subject of the second feature. Mon., Sept. 2, 7 & 9:30pm. Alamo Drafthouse at the Ritz, 320 E. Sixth. $7.50 each show; $35 balcony package for two. www.austinpride.org.
PRE-PRIDE BOOBIE BINGO Hosted by Cupcake and Kai Lee and lots of queens afoot. Which means you will be kept abreast. Tue., Sept. 3, 6:30pm. Maria's Taco Xpress, 2529 S. Lamar, 512/444-0261. Free. firstname.lastname@example.org, www.austinpride.org.
PRIDE INTERFAITH CELEBRATION "Out from the Inside" host and LGBT activist Karen McCrocklin speaks at this annual celebration of LGBTQ spirit and spirituality. Tue., Sept. 3, 7pm. Unity Church of the Hills, 9905 Anderson Mill. www.austinpride.org.
'MEAN GIRLS' & WAY GAY Quote-Along and Sing-Along twofer. First up is the La Linds chestnut Mean Girls, where you get to shout along with Gretchen Wieners and the rest of the Plastics. Then tackle gay ditties that make us feel fuzzy and empowered (if the new Miley Cyrus twerk anthem is not in there, heads will roll). Thu., Sept. 5, 7 & 9:45pm. Alamo Drafthouse at the Ritz, 320 E. Sixth. $12 each show; $44 balcony package for two. www.austinpride.org.
MADONNALOGUES Cher, Winona Ryder, and Madonna come to ATX for this pre-Pride ho-down, all courtesy of L.A. comedienne Nadya Ginsburg. Wed., Sept. 4, 8pm. Spider House Ballroom, 2906 Fruth. $20 ($15 advance). www.therawkshow.ticketleap.com/madonnalogues.
QPOCA'S BLOq PARTY 2K13 Meet the UT LGBTQ groups, mingle if ya single, get down to some music (Queer Chorus), and celebrate Back to School with UT's Queer People of Color & Allies. Thu., Sept. 5, 5-8pm. Gregory Plaza, 21st & Speedway.
RAINBOW NIGHT Keep the rainbow glow flowing in the town where the river runs cool and the trains toot on the regular. First Thursdays, 9:30pm. Fullmoon Saloon. www.facebook.com/fullmoon.sanmarcos.
AUSTiN PRIDE 2013 Austin Pride keeps piling on the goodness. The entire Pride week boasts a number of events all leading up to the big weekend, featuring the Rainbow Run 5K (with Rainbow Magic Powder!), the daylong social scene with a maze of community booths with plenty of fun for folks of all orientations, ages, creeds, cultures, and proclivities, culminating in the star-studded show (starring Andy Bell of Erasure, Crystal Waters, Jane Wiedlin of the Go-Go's, Jan Terri, Jojo of the Mary Jane Girls, Hi Fashion, Punk Bunny, RuPaul's Drag Race stars Raja, Shannel, and Shangela, Wendy Ho, Double Duchess, JD Samson of Le Tigre/MEN, Nancy Whang of LCD Soundsystem, and a host of local lovelies), the pre-parade Group Wedding officiated by Jane Wiedlin, and the cram-packed nighttime parade that last year attracted over 70,000 wild LGBTQers and allies. Austin, are you ready to roll? Damn right we're proud. Get your tickets now at the discounted rate and/or sign up to volunteer. Austin PRIDE Week, Sun.-Sat., Sept. 1-8 at locations around town. See individual event listings. Austin PRIDE Festival, Fiesta Gardens, 2100 Jesse E. Segovia. $20 ($17, advance). www.austinpride.org.
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