Gay Place: Unicorn, Totally

Photos courtesy of heygirlitiskstew.tumblr.com

While not gay, per se (and yes, we feel like tools for even delving into the definition, as if it freakin' matters, but you'd be shocked and amazed at the quantity and caliber of people whose brains frizz at the thought that a column of "gay" interest might recommend something not specifically, you know ...), Total Unicorn and this lineup at Skinny's tonight (Hi, Xander!) is a synthy, twee fest of whoop-whoop mind meld meets booty-quake Jell-O mold. You have been warned thusly.

ON OUR GAYDAR

TRADITIONAL FAMILY VALUES Artists Arturo Agüero, Sarah Holman, and M. Mendez queer up your concept of family with their reality of chosen family and non-normative childhoods. Tue.-Thu., 10am-7pm; Fri.-Sat., 11am-5pm. Closed, Sun-Mon. Through April 14. Visual Arts Center, 23rd & Trinity, 471-1108. Free. info@utvac.org, www.utvac.org.

QUEERDALINI YOGA Yup. It's Kundalini in a safe environment, for those who'd prefer to focus on chi rather than he or she. Thursdays, 7-8:15pm. Soma Vida, 1210 Rosewood, 628-1580. Donations encouraged. queerdalini@gmail.com.

LOVE. AT THE CANTINA Ahhh, the art of listening. Each week, power-vox fox Ginger Leigh hosts. This week: W.C. Clark and Will Sexton. Thu., April 12, 8-10:30pm. Flamingo Cantina, 515 E. Sixth, 494-9336. $12. www.flamingocantina.com.

TOTAL UNICORN With Dylan Cameron's Analog Drums, Ssleeperhold, Xander Harris, projections by video artists VidKidz, and free beer. Thu., April 12, 10pm. Skinny's Ballroom, 115 San Jacinto, 476-1962. Free with Facebook RSVP.

LIZZY CAROLOKE D King turns 13, and we get to spankin'. Fridays, 8pm-12mid. Bernadette's, 2039 Airport. Free.

DEATHROCK DISKO XII DJ None and DJ Malediction are joined by special dark guest DJ Pasht. Fri., April 13, 9:30pm-2am. Elysium, 705 Red River, 478-2979.

FU*KME FU*KME FRIDAYS Who you know and who you blow come together on the dance flo. Second and fourth Fridays, 10pm. The Eastern, 1511-B E. Sixth. Free.

TENT AT OUT YOUTH A trans man explores stereotypes and leads a discussion with the question: "Is there a 'right way' to be trans?" Sat., April 14, 3-4:30pm. Out Youth, 909 E. 49½, 419-1233. Free. www.outyouth.org.

ARYEL'S OCTO-BLU BUBBLE BASH Wear blue, tell Aryel "Happy Birthday," buy raffle tickets (perhaps win), and raise awareness and $$ for the Octopus Club. Sat., April 14, 6-10pm. Backroads Austin, 2200 S. I-35, 448-9711. www.backroadsaustin.com.

GLOW: A BLACK LIGHT AFFAIR You, a 'mo, and every ho you know. Glow, yo. Saturdays,. Deco Lounge, 408 Congress. Free.

DIRTY FILTHY SATURDAY Supastar DJ Filthy Rich spins gobs of gay gold. Just gobs of it. Saturdays, 10pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth, 494-1150.

'BOUT TIME FOR VOLLEYBALL! Get buff and social all in one volley. Check out team play on Wednesday and Sunday nights and pickup games every day at everyone's fave up-north gay bar. 'Bout Time, 9601 N. I-35, 832-5339.

LAID-BACK CHURCH God bless everybody, no exceptions. Join the progressive, all-inclusive, and laid-back God Squad at MCC at Freedom Oaks every weekend. 9 & 11am. Metropolitan Community Church, 8601 S. First, 291-8601. www.mccaustin.com.

EAST SIDE HOMO HOP Paypal now to get on this mega-bear, multihaus hop. If a bear slides down a waterslide and no one is there to see it, does the Pope still poop in the woods? Sun., April 15, noon-1am. $13. eastsidehomohop@yahoo.com.

CUBARET Start your week off with this merger of cubs and berets (you don't really have to wear one) with hosts Eric and Scott. Mondays, 10pm-2am. Chain Drive, 504 Willow, 480-9017. Free.www.facebook.com/ChainDriveATX.

TUEZGAYZ Still the king (queen) of 'em all, y'all. Your weekend just started a li'l earlier. Tuesdays, 10pm. Barbarella, 615 Red River, 476-7766. www.barbarellaaustin.com, www.theglitoris.tumblr.com.

OCCUPY AUSTIN OCCUQUEERS MEETING Take up your rightful visceral and political space. Come help plan for Harvey Milk, May Day, the overall mission statement, and more. Every other Wednesday, 5-6:30pm. The Q, 3408 West, 420-8557. Free.

KARAOKE WITH KRAMER Croon with the Krame, or whatever nickname you want to call him. Wednesdays, 9:30pm. Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free.

NO DOVES FLY HERE Bats do. Twice-a-month goth with DJs Damage Done, Death Church, and Straylight. Darkness! Realness! First and third Wednesdays. Chain Drive, 504 Willow, 480-9017. Free. www.facebook.com/nodoves, www.nodovesflyhere.com.

AGLCC HAPPY HOUR "Hey, sugar, may I buy you a drink?" Thank goodness they're cheap, cuz so are you. Bring your business cards and let these entrepreneurial hotties give you the bidness. Thu., April 19, 5:30-7:30pm. Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. www.theironbear.com.

HO-RIZON

PROJECT ABC SCREENS 'SOUTHERN COMFORT' Austin's alt-health care crusaders invite you to hang out and chew some kernels (corn and truth, perhaps?) while watching this story of one trans man's medical nightmare. Wed., April 25, 7:30pm. Treasure City Thrift, 2142 E. Seventh, 524-2820. www.treasurecitythrift.org.

RED, HOT, AND ROLLER RINK This year's Red, Hot & Soul fundraiser rounds the bend with a preview of the upcoming ONJ homage Xanadu: The Musical. There you are! (A shooting star!) Sat., April 21. Hilton Hotel Downtown, 500 E. Fourth, 476-0594 x260. escott@zachtheatre.org, www.zachtheatre.org.