After a Fashion
Your Style Avatar's Lindsay Lohan connection. You knew there had to be one.
THE DIRT So much public chitchat about me in print and on the Internet, you'd think I'd just broken up with Samantha Ronson or something. But no. The outpouring of support and encouragement from the community at large has been particularly heartening, and all my friends have gathered around me in a wonderful show of support. Newspapers and readers, however, seemed more concerned about my outfit. "A fur coat and leather pants? In Austin? In March?" many readers asked in shock and awe. Well, chickens, it was 42 degrees outside, and that's pretty chilly in my book. Of course, I'm sure most of those commenting would have shown up in cargo shorts and flip-flops. Someone has to uphold the standards of dressing appropriately for special events – otherwise they're just not special. Other comments focused on my mug shot. Dears, no one looks good in a mug shot: Ever been to www.thesmokinggun.com? Many people were concerned that my eyebrows didn't look natural with my hair color. Honey, having been born with "naturally" lavender-blond hair, nothing is going to look very natural. I'm just not the natural type of gal, so get over it. Even an elderly ex-friend decided to sling the dirt publicly wondering why I was getting so much coverage instead of the alleged victim. Needless to say, the most rabid comments were from bicyclists (duh), once again underscoring that, as a group, they are as humorless as I originally stated. "I feel safe on the streets once again now that he's been arrested," seemed to be the general consensus. Don't be so sure, riders. I was not arrested for running down bicyclists. And I am not the only one you need to be concerned about (at least I voice my opinion publicly). It's all those readers/drivers who sent letters of support saying they felt the same way: They're the ones you need to be concerned about. I only wrote what they were already thinking.
FLY IN THE OINTMENT Okay. Kiss & Fly. What kind of name is that? What does it mean? Sounds like a special service stewardesses give, doncha think? I went to the grand opening to find out. But if anyone was expecting to join the Mile High Club on this night, they were sorely disappointed. The space (formerly Vicci, Polly Esther's, et al.) has been a gay bar before in several incarnations. Now, as Kiss & Fly, it bills itself as Austin's best and "only gay nightclub." One would assume with that assertion, Kiss & Fly would have been filled with, well, gay people. Yet the crowd at the opening belied that statement. I saw hordes of U.S. grade A certified heterosexuals there, including the same cabals of young girls who have made Rain and Oilcan's not quite so gay these days. So what makes it different from the other gay bars? Nothing. DJ Sliver was fabulous, the layout of the club is fabulous, but, except for the door, the service was poor, and the drinks were weak. Apparently it's owned by the same group that owns the disastrous Qua (placed squarely between Oilcan's and Rain). I can't help but remember all the blogging about the management at Qua ejecting two male patrons for dancing with each other. Perhaps while its club remained empty night after night while the lines for Rain and Oilcan's were around the block, a little lightbulb went off in management's head: "Gee, maybe these homos aren't so bad after all." And voila! Kiss & Fly! Hmmm. Clever marketing? Or a desperate attempt to shore up some business for a club with a personal identity crisis?
THE CHARITY CIRCUIT The always fabulous ArtErotica, an Octopus Club fundraiser for the Paul Kirby Fund of AIDS Services of Austin, is coming up on Saturday, April 18, at the Copper Tank Events Center on Trinity, 9pm-12mid. Titillating treats and jaw-dropping art are the orders of the day. Go to www.octopusclub.org for details... I am donating a decorated pot and plant for the always lovely Umlauf Garden Party, with the Celebrity Seeds Auction, silent auction, divine spreads of food from so many fine restaurants, and enough wine to drown in, amidst a sparkling garden with bridges and ponds ... and, of course, the always inspiring Umlauf sculptures. Thursday, April 23, 6:30-9:30pm. Info at www.umlaufsculpture.org... You can't say I'm totally against all bicyclists (only the stupid ones), since I do indeed volunteer for the Hill Country Ride for AIDS. Being the ride's 10th anniversary, Saturday, April 25, should be especially festive this year. I, of course, am working in pit stop No. 1 again. Last year, I was Halston for our Studio 54 theme; this year's theme for our pit stop is the movie Fame. God, what am I going to wear? Leg warmers, extensions, and a smile, perhaps. "People will see me and die." Yeah, right. People would see me and cry, is more like it.
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