After a Fashion

Entertainer Saffire Trinity is Joan to the bone, at Sunday’s Mildred Pierce Pie Social. (Photo by Seabrook Jones/juicythis.com)

SPLATTERING A herd of movie fans (and my fans) stampeded into the Alamo Drafthouse South last Sunday for author and Austin Chronicle Food Editor Virginia Wood's Mildred Pierce Pie Social (yes, another benefit for me). We were inundated with pies – on the screen and at our tables, as dozens of bakers and restaurants donated pies of every description for our enjoyment. As with the Valley of the Dolls benefit, I only knew about half the people present, but we all seemed to be united in our love of Mildred ... or is it Veda we really love? (I do! I do!) The crowd spat out Veda's lines along with her and recoiled in horror at her treatment of her long-suffering mother, Mildred. The tension drew the crowd into a frenzy of pie-eating, and we all walked out 10 pounds heavier. Mmm mmm, good... Go to www.antones.net for info on the musical benefit at Antone's on Wednesday, May 14 (VIP, 6-8pm; doors open to public at 7:45pm). And, yes, again, the benefit is for me. Who knew that dying could be so much fun?

Benefiting Project Transitions, Austin artist (and Oilcan's concierge) Glenn Eaddy's art exhibit at Halcyon on Fourth has already raised more than $5,000. (Photo by Seabrook Jones/juicythis.com)

NATTERING Straight women/gay bars. Well, it's a time-honored tradition for gay men to bring their straight girlfriends to the gay bars. While avoiding those loathsome terms "fruit flies" and "fag hags" [what happened to "fish"? – ed.], I will say gay men and straight women have a natural affinity for each other. As gay men, we get to have women we adore in our lives without any sexual entanglements and all the drama that can cause. As straight women, you enjoy all the benefits of a boyfriend who cares more about your hair and jewelry than he does about your lady parts. But my last few outings to the gay clubs have been surprising in that the number of large groups of young, not-so-urban, straight girls are invading the clubs, flipping their ponytails, showing their thongs, and being pushy and full of attitude. I'm of two minds about this. Naturally, acceptance is what we all want and deserve, and I suppose the gays should be flattered that these obnoxious gaggles of girls want to be with them ... but on the other hand, y'all have thousands of places you can dance together and have a good time. We only have two.

SMATTERING You can surround yourself with beauty Friday, May 9, 7pm, at the Gallerie Jean Moulin (4305 Ave. G), featuring the first solo show of the art of Edward G. Vormann. Smart cocktail attire requested, and you know what that means... Saturday, May 10, 8pm, at the United States Art Authority, Nathan James' company XHBT presents the spectacular Miss Jackie Beat all the way from the City of Angels, in a special 90-minute performance benefiting AIDS Services of Austin. Jackie is the star of such films as Wigstock: The Movie, Adam & Steve, and Flawless. Her dirty, adult song parodies will keep you in stitches. Tix available at www.xhbt.org, and keep watching for the announcement of a performance by Lady Miss Kier on Saturday, Aug. 30... Thursday, May 15, is the regional premiere of Red Then Productions' When Something Wonderful Ends (co-produced by the Rude Mechs) at the Off Center. Info for this special fundraiser can be seen at www.rudezap.com... Also on Thursday, May 15, 7:30pm, at Pangaea is the culmination of the Italian Trade Commission's weeklong foray into Italian wine and fashion, with an event featuring a fashion show by Keepers clothing. Complete info and ticketing is at www.keepersclothing.com/modavino/tickets.html.