It’s probably safe to say that since you’re trolling these pages you’ve given up on the idea of becoming a priest or a nun. You don’t need a personal ad to marry Jesus. Even still, there could be occasions when you wake up on the floor of your hotel room with coke crust on your nostrils, your underwear around your ankles, and a goat bleating in the bathroom and wonder if maybe your life lacks purpose and meaning. Heaven knows goodness isn’t for everyone, but it would be nice to think that every once in a while the roulette ball of your life bounces into the charity slot, if only to pile up some karmic chits to balance out any future hedonistic pursuits (of course, in that mindset, Mother Teresa must have been planning some sort of superorgy). Like most people, you probably want to do good, you just don’t want to do what it takes to do good – sort of in the same way you’d like to be an astronaut but don’t really want to have to take all those math courses. Plus, what if you’re not good enough? What if you take all that math and still end up as an earthbound NASA desk jockey with a ranch house in Clear Lake? F that S. Makes you not even want to try. Still, you have to allow for the possibility that there are some people for whom goodness is its own reward, a special, mutant breed of masochist who gets off on helping others, people who are actually good for goodness’ sake. If these people exist at all, they are exceedingly rare. They are the Michael Jordans and Peyton Mannings of altruism, perhaps born with some genetic glitch that allows them to subvert their id on a molecular level. Unlike Michael and Peyton however, they’re doing it when no one is looking. Thank goodness. They sure do take the heat off the rest of us. They also set the bar unimaginably high. You don’t need that kind of pressure. Chances are you’ll never be a Mother Teresa. You might have occasional moments of selflessness. You might buy the bar a round or toss a couple of quails in the collection plate, but when it comes time to change bedpans for ebola victims, you suddenly have to wash your hair. Besides, won’t it be funny if you get into heaven anyway? If so, feel free to tell Mother Teresa what a chump she was. Wait’ll you see the look on her face when she finds out all you did to get in the pearly gates was to buy a massage wand at a charity auction. Burn! Mind you, there’s no shame in getting some while you’re giving some. By definition charity is never quid pro quo, but very often there is an intangible return on your investment. Ask Caroline Boudreaux. She was blowing a media merger windfall on a trip around the world when she ran smack dab into her life’s calling: helping orphans in India. In less than seven years the organization she started, The Miracle Foundation, has built three orphanages in India and helped hundreds of Indian children receive decent food, health care, and education. That’s a lot of hard work when she could have been washing her hair, but Caroline’s the first to admit she gets a lot of payback. This weekend Sky Lounge on Congress is hosting “The Miracle Bash,” a dance party and Miracle Foundation benefit featuring DJ Archit and DJ Sharma’s Karma. Get your groove on to some Bollywood, hip-hop, bhangra, and dance music and build up some karmic chits for your next hedonistic endeavor.
Copyright © 2021 Austin Chronicle Corporation. All rights reserved.