After a Fashion

What is keeping Stephen inside six nights a week, glued to the boob tube? And why would anyone want to go waaaaaaaay down south? Answers within.

Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival board members Alisa Weldon (l) and Sharon Gerhardt (r) flank <i>L Word</i> star Leisha Hailey during a photo op at the Mercury Design Studio earlier this spring.
Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival board members Alisa Weldon (l) and Sharon Gerhardt (r) flank L Word star Leisha Hailey during a photo op at the Mercury Design Studio earlier this spring. (Photo By Roxanne Jo Mitchell)

DISCUSS "Fashion, which elevates the bad to the level of the good, subsequently turns its back on bad and good alike," said Eric Bentley, a writer.

ELOPED Illustrious co-founder of the Flatbed Press, Mark Smith, married the dynamic Janet Maykus (aka Her Divineness) on August 26 in the cupola of the Presidio County Courthouse with Judge Cinderela Guevara officiating. The fabulous Julie Speed was their ring bearer and photographer.

DRIVE-BY THOUGHTS Am I the only one who is tired of Zach Braff already? When celebrities demand privacy, don't they mean the rare moments when they themselves haven't invited the photographers in, in exchange for money?

THE NEW SOUTH A jaunt to the hinterlands makes it obvious that deep South Austin is no longer the no-man's-land that it once was; the number of notable places to wine and dine is exploding, finally making it a viable option for living. Central Austin legend Hyde Park Bar & Grill has opened at 4521 West Gate (where the old Grandy's used to be); Madam Mam's with its great Thai food has a satellite at 4514 West Gate; Woody's has brought its fun atmosphere to the old Serrano's location at 321 W. Ben White. You could eat three meals a day at 9911 Brodie Ln. at Slaughter: breakfast at the stylish Galaxy Cafe, lunch at the southern outpost Brick Oven, and a terrific Tex-Mex dinner at Maudie's, which continues its Tex-Mex empire with the new hacienda. The newest addition to deep South Austin is Flipnotics Satellite Bistro & Bar at 5900 Slaughter.

EDUCATING MAC Words I taught my spell-check this week: "slutty" and "hon."

'FH' And have all my precious little fashionistas been watching Fashion House on Austin's CW (the former WB channel)? Well, cancel all your late-night dates, and pull a festive little cashmere throw around you as you settle into a corner of your sofa with a bowl of popcorn. Fashion House is new and – get this – is on six nights a week at 10pm for an entire hour every night. It's an actual soap opera starring Bo Derek as the duplicitous Maria Gianni, owner of the House of Gianni; Morgan Fairchild as Maria's bitter rival, Sophia Blakely (whom we actually haven't seen yet – except for her lips); and Tippi Hedren (!) in a small role as a slutty little tramp's Bible-thumping mother. The rest of the cast is unremarkable (which means we've never heard of them before), and FH leaves a lot to be desired: The storylines are confusing and unreal, mainly consisting of situations in which women wear clothes so tight you can see their hidden agendas; cell phones are wielded like knives; and arched eyebrows are supposed to say more than words ever could. OK, OK, it's not great television, but I suspect that things will heat up very nicely when Mme. Fairchild finally makes her appearance. FH's sister show, Desire, another six-days-a-week soap opera that comes on right before FH, is even more dreadful. We don't know anyone who is like the characters on this show. Too slick and way too much time on their hands without any visible means of support, they're completely devoid of personality and have this Euro-trash feel about them, even though they appear to be Americans. The stories need to get a lot better a lot faster, and the writers need to realize that a lot of backstabbing does not equal quality. But quality is never a requirement for trashy entertainment, is it? My advice? Hurry and watch these shows before they disappear.

AGENDA Fri., Sept. 29, Ballet Austin presents its fabulous annual fundraiser, the Ballet Fete at the Paramount and the Driskill. For a last-minute ticket or possibly a table, go to www.balletaustin.org/fete… Also on Fri., Sept. 29, 7pm at the Airport Hilton, the Women's Advocacy Project presents the Love Love Love Gala, a benefit to help WAP in providing legal solutions through free services to domestic violence and sexual-assault victims. For further info, go to www.women-law.org… Also on Fri., Sept. 29, the Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival begins with a glamorous opening-night party at City Hall and continues through Sun., Oct. 8, with must-see films, must-attend parties, and must-have experiences. Tickets and further info at www.agliff.org… Sat., Sept. 30, 7-10pm, Cream Vintage (2532 Guadalupe) has teamed up with Flirt Boutique and Birds Barbershop to present the fashion show Opposites Attract. Rock & roll models matched up with preppy squares strut down Cream's 50-foot outdoor runway, while DJ F* provides visual projection. Intermission burlesque show and VIP wet bar by the Peacock Lounge. Fashion show begins at 9:30pm. Admission is free; www.creamvintage.com.

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KEYWORDS FOR THIS STORY

Fashion, Austin style, nerd, film festival, Deep South Austin, trashy entertainment, fashion happenings, fahion events

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