After a Fashion

DRIVE-BY THOUGHTS "Child-eating bear…" Omigod, that's my favorite phrase in months… An online remark about Chloë Sevigny's alleged fashion sense: "There are 2 Chloe's (sic) – the 'i dressed myself in the dark chloe' and the 'yay! i found my hairbrush chloe.' Not giving a shit about how you look does Not equate to fashion sense." Got that, Chloë?… LOL I think Pamela Anderson's unauthorized bio should be called Bright Lights Big Titties… The new artistic director at Sage Salon is Rafael Virguez, who comes to us from such top salons as Louis Licari Color Group, Bruno and Jacques Dessange in NYC, and Jose Eber in Houston, among others… When celebrities complain about needing privacy, they mean the rare moments when they themselves haven't invited the photographers in exchange for cash… Overheard at Starlite: "… and that's why I keep having children." I shuddered to imagine what the rest of the conversation was about… God help us from the onslaught of Bettie Page hairdos that will undoubtedly sweep the nation in the wake of the Bettie Page movie. Austin babes have already done the short bangs to death, and like so many trends, it's just not right for all of those who decide to try it.

PARTY POOP Thursday: "Lonnie-eee," I whined to aGLIFF's executive director, Lonnie Stern, "It's raining! I can't go to an outdoor event! What about my hair?" But, tyrant that he is, he refused to cancel Bloom, aGLIFF's inaugural fundraiser. Like a brave little soldier, I applied all the hair products I own and went anyway, since I was the emcee for the event. Fabulous. Sharon Gerhardt, epicurean concierge of Whole Foods, was the event planner and brought in food and decor from Starlite Restaurant, P&K Grocery, and Mercury Design, among others. DJ Architekture played the dreamiest, trippiest music I'd heard in many moons, and aGLIFF raked in the bucks… Friday was the grand UT Fashion show Mosaic. It was very glam, with about 200 outfits streaming down the runway to a packed house at the Erwin Center. As a longtime judge for these senior projects, I grade them based on construction, innovation, marketability, and cohesiveness of the collection, but sometimes they look very different on the runway… Saturday was Zach Scott's Red, Hot and Soul – I can't remember the last time I had so much fun. The Austin Music Hall was packed, and the event raised far more than anticipated with an auction that was incredible. The decorating committee had given plastic pink flamingos to a number of folks to decorate for centerpieces on the tables. I ordered two vintage Johnny West figures from eBay and created a Brokeback Mountain theme, with the figures riding astride the flamingos. It raised $105, so I was happy. Bravo, Zach!

STYLES OF THE TIMES? Former Austin Chronicle writer Lauri Apple was profiled in The New York Times style section last week (www.nytimes.com/2006/04/23/fashion/sundaystyles/23FOUND.html) for her penchant for wearing clothes that she finds on the street and in garbage cans. Lauri's cool, but yikes, I thought the Dumpster-diving trend was far behind us. "Found" clothes, they call it. I call it something else.

998 DAYS Go immediately to www.backwardsbush.com and download the clock that counts backward until Jan. 20, 2008 – the day Bush leaves office – or buy the clock keychain. Too funny. OK, well if that offends you, then perhaps you'll be interested in having a bronze bust of President Bush in your home. Rush to www.foxbronzeart.com/Bush.htm, where, for a mere $2,995, you can buy your own 16% version of Dubya! He appears to be wearing his famed "Mission Accomplished" Halloween costume. Personally, I'm waiting for the George Bush piñata.

AGENDA Tonight! Thu., April 27, 6:30-9:30pm, is the Umlauf Garden Party, one of the dreamiest parties of the year – for more info, visit www.umlaufsculpture.org… Fri., April 28, 9:30pm, at Elysium is the Glam Girls of Goth Rock fashion show, featuring Summer Lawson and her SubKult Klothing Kouture, among others. $6… Fri., May 5, at Elysium, 9pm, the organizers of the eighth International Drag King Community Extravaganza (I know, I know) are presenting a "fashion" show called Trashy: The Spring Edition, where the "designers" use trash bags, aluminum foil, duct tape, etc. to create surreal art "fashion." OK, then. Go to www.elysiumonline.net for details… Sun., May 7, 7-9pm, the Almost Impatient Salon Team of artists dedicated to hair, make-up, and fashion presents the Top Drawer Couture Fashion Show, benefiting Project Transitions, at the Top Drawer Thrift Store, 4902 Burnet. I know my good friend Sue Hammer just donated a small fortune in designer clothes and jewelry for the event. And my garrulous editor Kate Messer [ed. note: This is the third time you've called me that: austinchronicle.com/issues/dispatch/2004-02-06/cols_fashion.html and austinchronicle.com/issues/dispatch/2005-12-23/cols_fashion.html] will join me in sharing emcee duties. For tickets and other info, go to www.projecttransitions.org/couture.shtml.