After a Fashion

Stephen lays out the good, the bad, and the fugly of 2005

Tom's 2005 theatrics shocked everyone – Lil' Kim was so surprised, she forgot to get dressed. Jennifer Wilbanks opened her eyes even wider than usual and then ran away. Again. Ty Pennington was speechless – mercifully. And your Style Avatar wonders what this world is coming to.
Tom's 2005 theatrics shocked everyone – Lil' Kim was so surprised, she forgot to get dressed. Jennifer Wilbanks opened her eyes even wider than usual and then ran away. Again. Ty Pennington was speechless – mercifully. And your Style Avatar wonders what this world is coming to.


Top 10 Awful Things


National

1) Girls who call each other "dude": Don't they have names?

2) Anyone who calls anyone else "dude": desperately trying to sound 13 years old.

3) The phrase "that sucks": It does. Really. Stop it.

4) Ty Pennington: I have one word for him – meds.

5) Jennifer Wilbanks: The Runaway Bride should have been run off the planet.

6) Adults named Scooter: no way, no how.

7) Those long, baggy nylon basketball shorts: Whatever happened to guys wanting to look sexy?

8) Lil' Kim: Bye-bye, Sugar, and not a minute too soon.

9) Hermes-gate: Sniff, sniff – they were closed and wouldn't let Oprah shop!

10) Tom Cruise: scare-eee!


Local

1-10) The construction nightmare at Riverside and Congress. They said the work on Riverside would be done within a month: That was months ago. The narrowing of Riverside to "reclaim" parkland: No one uses it. The traffic circle added on West Riverside: Evidence suggests (see for yourself) that drivers prefer to drive over this poorly marked obstruction rather than around it. No police ever to direct traffic when it backs up from Congress to I-35, or up Congress to Cesar Chavez, or down to Academy. A special place in hell is reserved for those drivers who see a line of traffic three blocks long, but are much too busy to actually wait in line like the other cars, so they drive around it and cut in front. Notice to drivers who have patiently waited in line: Don't let them in! And a question for the city leaders: Why are all these enormous, annoying projects planned so that they coincide with the huge influx of people for SXSW (Barton Springs makeover two years ago, Lamar dissection last year, and the Congress/Riverside mess for 2006)? You'd think the city would encourage the thousands of out-of-towners who come to spend so much money. Why punish them by making it inconvenient and an undesirable place to return to?


Best Local

1) Best new style development: 2nd Street District

2) Best new clothing store: Estilo

3) Best "other" store: Mercury

4) Best new SoCo addition: Home Slice Pizza

5) Best gown: Carla McDonald's vintage Yves St. Laurent couture gown in emerald green silk satin worn to the Ballet Austin Fete

6) Best jewels: the jeweled cuff worn by Joanie Bentzin, designed by Verdura for Chanel herself – one of only eight in the world

7) Best party: My birthday party was the best, but runners-up include a tie: Ballet Austin Fete and Arthouse Texas Prize Party

8) Best musician style (male): Alejandro Escovedo – a downtown dandy who dances to his own rules

9) Best musician style (female): Patricia Vonne – talent to burn and the style to make it all happen

10) Splashiest event: Texas Film Hall of Fame. As usual.

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KEYWORDS FOR THIS STORY

Top Ten Awful Things, dude, that sucks, Ty Pennington, Jennifer Willbanks, Scooter, baggy nylon basketball shorts, Li'l Kim, Hermes-gate, Oprah, Tom Cruise, Top Ten Awful Things, Riverside and Congress, Best Local, 2nd St. District, Estilo, Mercury, Home Slice, Carla McDonald, Yves St. Laurent

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