The Austin Chronicle

Mr. Smarty Pants Knows

By Mr. Smarty Pants, June 24, 2005, Columns

Some say albacore tuna is typically higher in mercury than light canned tuna.

Walter Jones, the Republican congressman for North Carolina who renamed french fries and french toast as freedom fries and freedom toast, now opposes the war in Iraq and wishes the name changes never happened.

Popo Bawa is the most feared spirit-monster of the Zanzibar spice islands. Prior to attacks, victims detect a bad smell, become cold, and go into a trance before they feel the creature's inhuman strength. The monster favors attacking the Pemba, the poorer and more backward of the archipelago's twin islands, and becomes active at election time.

According to former military man David Morehouse, the U.S. government has investigated ghosts and such. They called people who can tap into psychic phenomena "remote viewers." The name of the secret project was Operation Sun Streak, then the Stargate Project.

Nicolas Cage owns a Lamborghini that used to belong to the Shah of Iran.

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