Luv Doc Recommends: Grupo Fantasma New Year's Eve Party

La Zona Rosa, Friday, December 31, 2004

This Friday is New Year’s Eve. If you don’t already have a pretty decent idea of where and how you plan to work your stuff, it’s time to drag yourself out of your hidey hole, Osama. There’s plenty going on. Sure, you could argue that New Year’s Eve is just an arbitrary point in the space-time continuum made special and unique only because of the phenomenal pigheadedness of Western European culture. You’d be right, but you wouldn’t be rogered – certainly not with that attitude. Seems a little arrogant anyway to suck all the fun out of an evening just because you paid attention in eighth grade science. Why scramble the minds and break the hearts of all those ’tards out in middle America still intent on putting creationism back into textbooks? How do you think they’re going to feel when they find out they’re floating aimlessly in an ever-expanding existential ether? Do you think that’s going to haul the hogs to market? Do you think that’s going to bring the bumpkins to boot camp? No sir, the best way to conduct a civilized slaughter is to nurse the masses on the comforting tit of ignorance. So, if you’ve got a beef with the Gregorian calendar, keep it to yourself, and thank your lucky stars (the only stars outside The National Enquirer anyone cares about anyway) you’re not still pissing and moaning about the Julian (If you’re thinking Lennon here, maybe you should just skip to the end). To keep things simple, New Year’s Eve is steeped in tradition. Simpletons love tradition for the simple fact that it causes less wear and tear on the noggin. Here are the two big traditions: 1) Drinking. 2) Kissing someone at the stroke of midnight. Fortunately, the drinking isn’t time sensitive and can last anywhere from a few minutes to a lifetime. The kissing however, should really wrap up within a few minutes even if you plan on getting a hotel room. Regardless of what you might think, tonsil hockey is not a spectator sport. So … the agenda is set, where to get it on? The choices are infinite, but since you probably won’t be dragging along a date, you’re going to want to kick it at a place with some groove. Yes, you’ll want to dance because it’s unlikely you’re going to impress someone with your drinking, no matter how attractive that sounds. Try La Zona Rosa with Grupo Fantasma. People love them … and not for the lyrics. They have about a dozen musicians on stage beating, banging, and blowing on stuff in sweaty syncopation. It’s like a huge aerobics class for drunk, horny people, but in a good way. Remember: Dancing and drinking, not sitting and thinking. Oh yeah, and get a cab or D a D who will drive to arrive alive in the ’05.

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