After a Fashion

Human Growth Hormone comes outta where? Brenda Vaccaro did what? This week's AAF takes you where you never wanted to go…

After a Fashion

BLING BLING Think you know everything about Jennifer Lopez? Then try this on for size: During Dateline's interview with J.Lo and Ben Affleck, Jennifer wore this 18-carat, multi-colored, cushion-cut tourmaline Renaissance necklace with netted rose-quartz briolette pendant by David Nakard Armstrong and Anthony Camargo of Austin's own Anthony-Nak Jewelers. The jewelers, profiled in the October issue of Vogue, may also provide Miss Lopez's jewelry for the premiere of Gigli.

THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH? The recent article in the New York Times about the science of skin care was illuminating. It was fascinating to read about the DNA creams developed specifically for you based on taking a sample of tissue from the inside of your cheek. It made the future of beauty seem so close at hand. Now, you can hardly go anywhere without reading about HGH (Human Growth Hormones). The vendors of HGH tout it for everything from skin problems to promises of eternal youth. According to the article, HGH is derived from the foreskins of babies. Really? I wonder if the parents who have their children circumcised are aware that those little pieces of skin removed from their infant sons' penises are probably sold to laboratories for processing this HGH? How exactly do the doctors' offices and hospitals store these things until they get to the lab? Do they keep them on little sticks in the refrigerator? Or maybe in a glass container until they resemble a jar of pickled calamari. Well, if HGH does what it promises, who cares where it came from or how it's stored? The idea is no more loathsome or unappealing than the fabled cow-urine injections that were done in the 1960s. Sounds nasty, huh? The fact of the matter is that urine is an ingredient in many current beauty products, as a derivative under the name "urea" (check your bottles, ladies). The idea of beauty products that come from "down there" (and I don't mean Australia) is not uncommon -- in the Seventies I screamed over the "Brenda Vaccaro" character in Jacqueline Susann's Once Is Not Enough, who thought that smearing her face with semen would keep her looking young. The things we do for beauty...

THE FINE ART OF NATTERING Le scandale delish is the recent editorial bloodbath that occurred at Tribeza magazine. Any publication that produces the fine quality work and sheer beauty of Tribeza is bound to be riddled with huge egos, and things seem to have come to a head when Publisher Zarghun Dean let them all know who was boss when he summarily fired four members of the editorial staff. "We are a family," was the only quote the gracious Mr. Dean would give me -- and like all families, this one is going through its own brand of drama... Of course you watched the smash debut of Bravo's Queer Eye for the Straight Guy -- you and about 1.6 million others! What a scream that show was; it was truly moving to see these disheveled heterosexual men submit to the queens' natural desire to make everything around them look better. As a self-respecting homosexual, part of me was shocked to see such blatant stereotypes of gay guys. On the other hand, many of my friends and I agreed that we would have behaved no differently. I thought all the queens on the show were funny, and when they showed the straight guy all done up at the end, looking so handsome, clean, and stylish, I was so happy it made me cry. And for those without cable: Do not miss NBC's special airing of a 30-minute version of the episode tonight, Thursday, July 24... Queer Eye was also a popular topic of conversation at JD DiFabbio's art opening for Oscar Riquelme and Pablo Taboada of Art Amici. The art was wonderful, the food divine, and the glamorous JD (I call her JD DiFabulous, but she's really the Mary Boone of Austin's art world) threw quite the fun little shindig at the new On Congress event center for a terrific guest list of some of Austin's most creative, including those irrepressible bon vivants Mark Ashby and Vance Knowles... The lovely Rita Garza, who will soon be trading her position at AIDS Services of Austin for a new one at the American Heart Association, seems to have attracted the attention of Dallas attorney Rob Campos (from the dreadful reality show For Love or Money). Mr. Campos, accused of sexual misconduct during his term in the military, was visiting Austin for the La Raza convention and fell victim to Mme. Garza's exotic allure. After his departure, Mme. Garza would not comment on any further charges of sexual misconduct... Speaking of ASA, their Red Ribbon Dinner at Fleming's was divine. Fabulous food, exquisite service, and charming company, like the Austin Business Journal's John Egan, Amy and Nick Constant, and my dear friend Steven Aichlmayr made the evening sparkle...

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KEYWORDS FOR THIS STORY

Jennifer Lopez, Dateline, J.Lo, Ben Affleck, David Nakard Armstrong, Anthony Camargo, Anthony-Nak Jewelers, Gigli, New York Times, HGH, Brenda Vaccaro, Jacqueline Susann's The Love Machine, Tribeza, Zarghun Dean, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, JD DiFabbio, Mary Boone, On Congress, Mark Ashby, Vance Knowles

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