After a Fashion

GOLDEN GRIPES I can't decide which is worse (or more prevalent): daytime hair with evening clothes or DHOH (Did Her Own Hair). Jennifer Aniston illustrated the double whammy of daytime hair and DHOH. Her husband, Brad Pitt, took the same honors in the men's category. In fact, Jen and Brad appear to have a competition in which they vie to see who can look more disheveled and less starlike. Meryl Streep, wearing an unusual pants-with-a-train ensemble, strode up to the stage, faced the audience, and began to adjust her breasts one at a time in her jacket. That might have been overlooked if her hair weren't so horrible. What on Earth was she thinking? Probably not thinking a lot. Edie Falco was cute but definitely DHOH. Cynthia Nixon? Whatever, doll -- but learn this equation: DHOH + Baaad Dress = Awards-Show Disaster. One reason the Golden Globes are more fun than the Oscars is because at the Golden Globes they serve cocktails. As the camera scanned the crowd the most common sight was someone reaching across someone else to get their glass filled. Surely the alcohol contributed to the Sharon Stone problem. Her outfit was nothing less than a desperate cry for help. Sharon, darling, take the dress off; we'll burn it and pray for forgiveness. Then together we'll shoot your hairdresser. Alcohol surely entered the equation with Brendan Fraser -- his pie-eyed demeanor raised red flags immediately; then he horned in on that poor woman's acceptance speech and evidently started playing with her dress or her bra. In either case, she was clearly annoyed with him. Lara Flynn Boyle made a startling appearance in a ridiculously beautiful prima-ballerina ensemble with to-die-for slippers with wide, pink ribbons that laced up to her knee. It is most definitely the new swan dress, if you know what I mean, but I thought she looked divine, even if it was very Sept. 10. Other knockouts were Uma Thurman, Nicole Kidman, Renée Zellweger (aka "The Luckiest Woman in Hollywood" or TLWIH), Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Queen Latifah. Sarah Jessica Parker looked wonderful, even if her outfit was a tad too casual. Her hair was fabulous, and she obviously did not DHOH.

THE SOCIAL DIARY My all-new nonsmoking effort would be severely tested, as I knew I'd have to attend my friend Jeff Rojas' birthday party at the Victory Grill. Smoking and drinking go hand-in-hand like, well, drinking and smoking. But remarkably, despite the many temptations, I went to bed at 5am and hadn't smoked a single cigarette. I was very pleased, and of course attribute this to the hypnosis I underwent with therapist Sylvi Salinas just a few weeks ago. Anyway, the party was a scream. My social secretary Neil Diaz and I decided we were going to wear sophisticated black suits: his with a lovely fake Versace shirt and I with a design of my own. The Victory Grill is truly a relic, providing setups to a crowd reveling in the retro charm of the club. Mr. Rojas, well-connected in the local media scene, attracted several media figures including Fox 7's Katherine Kisiel, my good friend Doug Shupe of News 8, as well as perpetual Chronicle "Best of Austin" winners KXAN's R.J. DeSilva and Jim Spencer, who was so nice I wanted him to be my NBF (new best friend). The wonderfully talented (and also BOA award-winning) DJ Trey Lopez mesmerized the very diverse crowd with his music, and it was a free-for-all of fun and catty party chatter. Completing the festivities were such other local glitterati including my favorite interior designer, Mark Ashby, along with Tony Senecal, Vylette's Christina Klisanin and Amy Weaver, Vën's Nick Day, and others too fabulous to mention. I wound up having the best time with longtime scenester David Cotton, who arrived with an amazing retinue of beauties. Naturally, I was immediately smitten and could tell that David would be my NBF (next best friend). We bonded hard over a bottle of vodka, and he magnanimously bequeathed me two members of his harem. I knew right then we'd be fast friends forever. At 1am, Neil and I left with Mikey and Harry and took off to Elysium, where of course we were treated royally and had a divine time. John, the owner, is always so accommodating and gives such great service, as does bartender Joel. It's always a trip in there and is my favorite place to take tourists and unsuspecting guests. We hung with Neil's nonexclusive boyfriend Chad Roberts and my favorite wild thing, DJ Sliver, as well as Rawny and Jen of Xtremes salon, whose new Sixth Street location is about to open. All in all, the evening was a fascinating cross section of Austin's charms.

NUTRITIOUS GOSSIP I have so much nutritious gossip on my mind this week that I won't be able to give it all a fair shake, but I'd be remiss in not telling you that PR whiz Jennifer Hill has orchestrated the sale of one of Carolyn Carlson and Dale Sengelmann's Meringue chairs to none other than Madonna (www.meringuedesign.com). It is rumored that Hill also has Nicole Kidman and Puff Daddy on the line and very interested. These chairs are magnificent art pieces. I first saw them at their debut last year in a great show at the Oswald Gallery. Since then the business has snowballed. The chairs did well at trade shows and adorned the windows of By George throughout the holidays. This is a coup for Hill, who also represents Liz Carpenter, among others.