After a Fashion

After a Fashion
Illustration By Terri Lord


10) Liza Minnelli's Marriage Poor Liza. We know that this undoubtedly short-lived union will not have a happy ending. It's just not in the cards for her. See you soon at Betty Ford.

9) Clip-On Hair It looks as tacky as it sounds.

8) Kelly & Jack Osbourne The portly little pagans pop off about every little thing that passes through their pea brains. Kelly called her album Shut Up, and that's exactly what they should do.

7) Britney Spears Having Sex Omigod, I need a tranquilizer.

6) Running Clothes Primarily seen in public on people who run only from the couch to the refrigerator.

5) Prince Charles' Continuing Quest to Prove Himself an Unsuitable Ruler He is swine. Bypass him, please, and spare us from Queen Leatherface.

4) Eminem and All His Relatives We know more about him, his mother, his ex-wife, and his daughter than decent people should. The one-joke routine is tired. Just say no.

3) Visible Thongs Last year it was visible bras. Let's just keep our underwear to ourselves, shall we?

2) Michael Jackson Continuing to Breed This queen should be sterilized. Pronto.

1) KBEJ Drops Cheaters, and No One Picks It Up The world is a colder place.

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More After a Fashion
After a Fashion: A Stitch In Time
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Stephen MacMillan Moser, July 5, 2013

After a Fashion: The Main Event
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