After a Fashion

Celebrity sightings … and slightings. Bitchy, bitchy, biiiiitcheeeeee …

CELEB SIGHTINGS In addition to the recent George Michael sighting at Oilcan Harry's, we've heard that the Eighties icon not only had dinner at Emilia's, but was also seen at the Saxon Pub, where he graciously but briefly signed autographs. Again, no reports of visits to the restrooms at either location... My bevy of spygirls and boys says that a week ago last Saturday, Pink was at Emo's playing pool and listening to "some gay/lesbian folk-rockers." The following night, Sunday, she was at Elysium playing pool and video games after her show. Wearing gray stretch denim tucked into black ankle boots and a white wife-beater under a short black tube top, she was revealing a bare belly that looked, according to one report, like she was in her second trimester. Accessories included way too many bracelets of all kinds on her arms, topped off with a studded belt with mysterious electronics hanging off of it. "No pictures," she told the gathered crowd, who graciously understood, knowing that they wouldn't want their picture taken looking like that either... Trying to get closer to her friends from the Faint at Emo's, Brooke Carter had to force her way to the stage, pushing out a group of badly dressed morons. Apparently the sartorially challenged group turned out to be No Doubt (sans Gwen Stefani), who brayed, "What's her problem?" and "Who the hell does she think she is?" One report said that No Doubt offered tickets for their show to Emo's staff; however, everyone was "too busy" to attend and were confused as to why they would be invited in the first place... Gwen herself (the Madonna of the mall set) was not at Emo's, preferring to stay at Club DeVille, where she looked all pouty and tried to look conspicuously incognito wearing dark glasses while posing with her bodyguards... No reports from the No Doubt show; no one I know cared to attend... Neil Diaz was at the Woodlands recently, where he met Green Day, Blink-182, and Jimmy Eat World. "I can give you a report on their awful clothes, as well as the rest of the mall drones' [presumably he means their fans] equally sad attire." Thanks anyway, Neil ... 'nuff said.

THE SWAG BAG I've gotten some pretty fun swag in my time, but nothing more fun than what I received from Blue Velvet. Celebrating the opening of the new Hand-Made House (featuring all things hand-crafted, of course), they sent me a wonderful handpainted box containing, along with all the promotional literature, amazing and creative embroidery patterns, fun original refrigerator magnets, and a charming plaque all red and glittery that says "After a Fashion" ... it now sits atop my computer monitor and helps remind me that I'm supposed to be working and not surfing the Net. Blue Velvet's Girly Gala on May 4 was a success and inaugurated the new department with cocktails and ladies-who-lunch food. Featuring the vintage-inspired works of local artisans, such as the unique embroidery work of Jenny Hart, accessories and home décor by Tina Lockwood, and resin jewelry by Jennifer Perkins, this new addition to Blue Velvet's usual fabulous lineup is sure to cement their reputation as Austin's foremost vintage retailer. Best swag I've ever gotten -- thanks very much, ladies!

THE SHIKI PEEK-Y Click on to Shiki's new Web site at www.shikistyle.com. The lovely owner, Jane Vanesko, has "the eye," as they say, and consistently stocks her store with beautiful and unusual clothing and accessories, all with a particular Shiki look. Every other Thursday throughout the summer (June 13, June 27, July 11, July 25) is the Shiki Freaky Hour, 5-7pm, featuring cold sangria, DJ Claude 9 on the turntables, and discounts on everything in the store.

NO GUTS, NO GLITTER I'm so disappointed in Vanity Fair -- I usually swear by everything they say, but they said recently that Mariah Carey's bomb Glitter had replaced Showgirls as the campiest movie to come down the pike. First off, I'm no fan of Mariah Carey. I confess that I did win tickets on the radio in New York to see her Madison Square Garden concert in the fall of 1995, I sat next to her mother and her (then-) husband Tommy Mottola as Mariah wore a trashy little Santa outfit and sang her song "Hero," and it was a emotionally crippling moment whose trauma I have not yet recovered from. Her very public break-up, followed by her public break-down, was a gossip-monger's delight, and I've loved every single morsel of it. Needless to say, I felt obliged to rush out and rent the damn movie, and even subjected my sister to it. But Vanity Fair was wrong; Glitter is absolutely horrid. Lacking the lurid charm of Showgirls, Glitter's A Star Is Born-ish kind of story plods through like a funeral dirge, each scene more painful than the last. The no-talent, monkey-faced Mariah performs with all the enthusiasm of a tree stump in a coma, and when she smiles, you're inclined to pat her head and offer her a banana. She wears ridiculous clothes throughout (keeping the audience wondering "In what time period is this supposedly taking place?"). Unfortunately, Mariah drags the talented musician Eric Benet down with her. The drop-dead gorgeous Benet is married to the drop-dead gorgeous Halle Berry, and hopefully this movie won't scar him for life. Her latest movie, Wise Girls with Mira Sorvino, sounds like it's going directly to DVD, and Mira has had to deny reports of physical altercations between Mariah and her. Showgirls made me want to go out and get acrylic fingernails; Glitter made me want to use them to slit my wrists.

A FRIEND IN NEED The lovely Ruby Lamb tells us that the brother of one of the Satan's Cheerleaders was physically assaulted and had to have emergency brain surgery. With no insurance and staggering medical bills, they are throwing him a benefit called the Medicine Ball. The fundraiser takes place at Room 710 on Sunday, May 26, and will include bands, performances (and projections by Bob Sherman), and a silent auction. Attendees are strongly encouraged to honor the medical theme and dress as doctors, nurses, or patients.

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KEYWORDS FOR THIS STORY

George Michael, Oilcan Harry's, Emilia's, Saxon Pub, Pink, Emo's, Elysium, The Faint, Brooke Carter, No Doubt, Gwen Stefani, Club DeVille, Neil Diaz, Woodlands, Green Day, Blink-182, Jimmy Eat World, Blue Velvet, Hand-Made House, Girly Gala

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