After a Fashion
Wait a polyester minute! What is our Style Avatar doing in Sugar's, the Showpalace, and Exposé??? You'll just have to read to find out. Thank goodness Lucinda's also in there to soften the blow!
RADIO, THE SOUND OF SALVATION? Tube tops and strappy sandals have sprouted up all over Sixth Street like mushrooms on cow pies -- well, of course, for many Sixth Street fashion failures, strappy sandals and a tube top never go out of style. Not unlike the babes from the Showpalace and Exposé, whose trashy ads on the radio play tawdry stripper music that sounds like it is performed by monkeys on instruments manufactured by Playskool, with a presumably gorgeous babe who sounds like she's got a mental deficiency (and a mouthful of ... something) moaning, "I'm soooo hot." Yeah, babe. You're hot all right, like a festering wound. Naturally, the ads for Sugar's brag about their gorgeous babes ... but wait a minute, didn't Renée Zellweger once work there? But as long as we're talking about bad radio ads, I find the ads for Lasique to be among the most annoying on the radio. With that revolting phone number (555-VEIN or something like that), and that nag with the grating voice whose delivery could wilt grass. It reminds me of when a team of doctors determined that one woman's seizures were caused by the voice of Entertainment Tonight's Mary Hart, whenever she came on the air, the tremors would begin ... But is there anything worse than the Wendy's radio spots? Whether he's inviting you to join the party in his mouth, or weeping over a dropped chicken nugget, that repulsive dimwitted character Lou is offensive in every way possible. Exactly whom are they trying to appeal to with such stupidity?
AT IT AGAIN International gossip sources say that there is the sound of wedding bells in the air as serial homewrecker Helena Bonham Carter continues in her path of destruction. The rumor is that she'll be marrying director Tim Burton any day now. The New York Post's Page Six claims that HelBonCa befriended actress Lisa Marie during the filming of Planet of the Apes and then stole Marie's longtime boyfriend, Burton, away from her. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't this smell just like what she did to Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson? I know, I know ... it's a jungle out there.
SPRING THOUGHTS Can't think of anything much nicer this time of year than sitting on the deck of Ruby's BBQ on a lovely spring evening. It's is unquestionably my favorite barbecue joint in town. Though there are, of course, several other excellent places, Ruby's is the one that does it for me. The service is always friendly -- owners Pat and Luke are everything you want proprietors to be -- and the food is heavenly. If I were to be sentenced to death for some horrid crime of fashion, I'd want my final meal to be from Ruby's, with a great big bib so I didn't muss my final outfit. We're well into spring again, and you know what that means ... that's right, Laura Bush is wearing a whole new array of suits illustrating just how far you can go with menopausal colors.
TONIGHT! TONIGHT! The Club DeVille Spring Fashion Extravaganza is tonight (Thursday, May 9, 8pm).