Coach's Corner

I don't do year-end lists of bests. They bore me. However, I guess a 1000-year change of the calendar is fairly rare, and I don't want to be left out of all the many lists being created for the century past. My one rule is this: I didn't see Ty Cobb steal a base or Joe Louis box. I'm sticking to what I saw, or where empirical data is so overwhelming it can't be ignored.

The ultimate upset: David whups ass: If you're too young to remember, or somehow missed the unlikely events that unfolded during the first two weeks of 1980, I'll try to give you a hint of why this event tops so many lists. This was, of course, the Miracle on Ice, the American victory over the USSR on the rink at the Winter Olympics in Lake Placid. 1980 was a bad time for America. American hostages were imprisoned in Iran. The flag was spit upon around the world. Daily humiliation of America seemed to be child's sport. The Russians invaded Afghanistan. The collective horror of Watergate was still fresh. Russian ICBMs targeted American cities. Russia was a real enemy. The Cold War was, in 1980, very real. After dominating European hockey for decades, the Russians proved (in a shocking swing through Canada in the late 1970s) they were the finest hockey team on earth ... as if their four consecutive Gold medals weren't proof enough. America, on the other hand, was known for hot dogs and electing grade B actors to be President. The U.S. team -- composed entirely of completely unknown college kids -- had no chance. As the U.S. squad kept winning in the early rounds, the suspense began to build. You can say what you will about blasé Americans and how cool we are to be able to look down our snooty noses at the silly nationalism displayed in other countries, but everybody, everybody in America was watching that magic night when an underdog of proportions that simply defy description faced off against the invincible Soviets. Obscure names like James Craig and Mike Eruzione were about to become etched in the minds of Americans forever. Eruzione, the scrappy American captain, scored the go-ahead goal midway through the third period. The USA clung desperately to the one-goal lead for ten minutes that seemed like ten hours. Recalling a then-unknown Al Michaels' spontaneous cry of "Do you believe in miracles?" as the final seconds ticked down still gives goosebumps. An American team of rank amateurs -- not NHL pros -- beat the greatest team from the evilest of empires. It was a bright and shiny moment. Trust me, young sports fans, there was no American anywhere in the world in a bad mood the next day.

The best of 'em all: In the 46-year span -- almost half the century -- from 1920-'65, the New York Yankees won 29 AL pennants.

Finest day-to-day starting team: I give you, sportsfans, the '75-'76 Cincinnati Reds, The Big Red Machine. Joe Morgan, Pete Rose, Ken Griffey, George Foster, Tony Perez, Johnny Bench, Davey Concepcion, and Cesar Geronimo. Try pitching around that lineup. They won 210 regular season games and two World Series with a pitching staff that would be considered mediocre even by today's sorry standards.

Records that will be standing in the year 3000:

Baseball: 2,632. How many of you haven't missed a day of work for 7.5 years? Cal Ripken's consecutive game streak, when you let it sink in, is mind boggling.

56 games doesn't seem like that much, but consider: In an entire century of games, the closest anyone's come to Joltin' Joe DiMaggio's hitting streak is 44. That's somewhere out in short center field...

College Football: Longest Div. I winning streak: Bud Wilkinson's Sooners of the mid-1950s went 47 games without a loss. With modern scholarship limitations spreading out the talent, Oklahoma's record will never be approached.

NFL: Most coaching wins. Don Shula coached 33 years, winning 328 games. Second is George Halas, who coached 40 years. The next coach still active is Dan Reeves about 165 games back. In today's win-or-be-fired environment, no one will survive to threaten Shula's record.

Single season scoring: Playing a puny 12-game schedule in 1960, Green Bay's Paul Horning scored 176 points: 15 TDs, 41 PATs and 15 field goals. With today's 16-game schedule, no one's come close...

NBA: On 7 March, '62, in Hershey, Pa., Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a game. The safest record of them all...

Golf: They've been keeping records for almost the entire century. Jack Nicklaus' 20 major wins are seven more than Bobby Jones in a distant second place. A talent like Tiger might threaten if he could stay hungry for 30 years. But can a millionaire-at-20 stay hungry for three decades?

Tennis: For the same reason as in golf, nobody will touch Jimmy Connors' 109 singles titles, or Martina Navratilova's 167. There's just too much money in the game to keep a top player around long enough to grind out that many titles.

Most overhyped sporting event of all time: Always the un-PC piglet, I proudly give it hands down to the barrage of blather surrounding the '99 Woman's World Cup. I've yet to meet a person I'd consider a sports fan that gave a damn.

Have a pleasant next century.