Public Notice

Who doesn't like breasts? Everything's coming up boobies this week! We don't know what it is, what's in the air ... but Breasts is our inadvertent theme for this week's Public Notice. Look, you can stop reading now if this is the sort of thing that makes you queasy or bristly or flinchy. We can't control that for you. We can only control our own breastiny. We encourage you to stay, however, to keep reading and keep an open mind; you might learn a thing... or two! See, we heard two great stories this week that we just can't keep to ourselves. They are too great to keep locked up in our collective bosom.

The first one comes from Chronicle proofitrix and pop culture maven Cindy Widner, who happens to be on vacation this week (more the reason for us to feel at liberty to relay this story). Her sister went to see Ween in Albuquerque (we feel compelled to interject here that Ween is a touring rock band -- in fact, they appeared in Austin just last week). Those in the Ween-know know that anything goes at a Ween show. Well, this show was no exception, much to the surprise of even Ween. Well, Ween was on stage, not-exactly-careening along through their set, when all of a sudden this very buff woman with a six-pack tummy and leather pants (and nothing else ... well, except for the obvious things that are apparent when you are a luscious woman who is wearing nothing more than a pair of leather trousers) jumps on stage and starts wigging out, doing the "mind dance." So club security starts moving their cute little over-testosterized bods into formation, ready to pounce. Seeing this, Ween, who are enjoying the spectacle and sensing the crowd's equally high regard for the beleathered babe, wave off the bouncer dudes, thereby braving the potential danger that this near-naked nut had perhaps something more sinister than simple stage diving in mind. Well, the sister had nothing sinister in mind, no sirree, not one cross thought. She simply wanted to share with the crowd. And share she did ... her breast milk. She began lactating -- and we don't mean a few dribbles here and there, we mean full-on firehose spewing, spraying projectile arcs of motherly luv. Sssppppprrrzz! Ssssspppprrz! Ween seemed impressed, if not perplexed, and the woman was allowed to continue with her crowd drenching "art." Where are we going with this story? Nowhere, really.

Well, this incident reminded us of the good fortune we had and another good story we heard at the Grand Opening of the Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin (MMBA) a few weeks back. We happened to run into an old pal of ours, Roggie Baer Elm, who was enjoying the opening day festivities in the St. David's garden with her daughter, Laurel. We were discussing the many changes through the years in the public's acceptance of Breastfeeding. Now, Roggie is an old pro at motherhood and has breastfed her daughter in all manner of public places with pride and confidence. Heck, she's nursed Laurel at the post office, in church, at Barton Springs, at a Volvo Dealership, at Denny's, even at the IRS (Note to self: next audit, bring a baby!!!). On the road they've nursed at The Viper Room in Johnny Depp's private listening booth (he was not there, unfortunately) and at Johnny Cash's house and studio. "I cannot think of any place I would go and not nurse," she relates. So it must have come as a shock when a young security guard, with nary a wisp of whisker on his post-pubescent chin, nervously approached her and asked her "not to do that there." He was referring to the lunchtime feeding that Roggie and Laurel were enjoying ... at Graceland -- yes, the home of the King. We hardly had time to ponder the irony when Roggie assured us that, no, Graceland doesn't prohibit breastfeeding on the premises, but that her unfortunate proximity -- atop some rare Elvis patio furniture is what incited the guard. "Except for my choice of historical furniture, I have never been asked not to [breastfeed]," Roggie says. "Most people smile and tell me that their son, daughter, grandchild, or friend's child was nursed, or sometimes that they were not and regret it." Go to it, moms!

Austin is lucky to have both a LaLeche League and a Mothers' Milk Bank in Austin to support and encourage a mother and baby's right to enjoy what mama nature intended. There are only seven other milk banks in the entire U.S., so we are extra lucky. Governed by local doctors and nurses, MMBA banks the luscious liquid commodity for emergency needs. They need Milk Donors. (Wonder if Ween got that woman's number?) Both nonprofits need Volunteers, as well as Donations of cash. Give of yourself freely. Mothers' Milk Bank, 494-0800; LaLeche League, 272-8042.

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E-mail: pnotice@auschron.comMail to: "Public Notice," The Austin Chronicle, P0 Box 49066, Austin, TX 78765. Deadline: Wednesday, 6pm, eight days prior to publication. Phone calls have a .001% chance of being returned.