Show Us Your... uhh, Hearts

Holidays, schmolidays. Sure New Year's was okay, but the Epiphany came and went and Groundhog Day was a total bust. That miserable Punxsutawney rodent saw his shadow and now we're supposed to endure six more weeks of dreary cold. Fortunately, the double whammy of Valentine's Day and Mardi Gras guarantees an early thaw faster than that rotten ol' groundhog, anyway. And what hotter way to start than with Austin Latino/a Lesbian & Gay Organization (ALLGO)'s annual Baile de Amor? This dance of love benefits Informe SIDA and ALLGO with Latino, Tejano, and dance music, Sat, Feb 10, 9pm at the Hyatt Regency, 208 Barton Springs.472-2001.

[[perthousand]]Hot? You want hot? Wait 'til you see this room full of tuxes and tails at the Jack Sansing HIV Dental Clinic Mardi Gras Ball, Fri, Feb 16 at the Four Seasons, 9pm-1am. 331-9820.

[[perthousand]]Perhaps your preferred brand of heat is of a more intimate variety? Shuffle your sweetie off to a pre-Valentine's Day dinner, Mon, Feb 12 at the Skyline Grill, which will donate 5% of the nights proceeds to the Communities in Schools programs. 462-1771.

Eyes of Texas

Have your eyes had it? Texan Eye Care & Walgreens host Free Vision Screenings throughout February, all over town.The screenings cover distance vision testing, as well as checks for cataracts and glaucoma. Screenings will be held at these locations and times:

* Fri, 9, 3-7 pm, 710 N. Bell;

* Thu, 15, 10am-2pm, 2020 E. Riverside;

* Thu, 15, 3-7pm, 803 FM1825, Pflugerville;

* Fri, 16, 10am-2pm, 1144 Airport;

* Fri, 16, 3-7pm, 8104 Mesa;

* Mon, 19, 10am-2pm, 2100 W. Wm Cannon;

* Mon, 19, 3-7pm, 5600 S. First. 454-0333.

Bikes, Pikes, Dykes, Yikes!

Usually when we receive hand-scrawled missives on torn sheets of multiply recycled paper outlaying sketchy details for purported benefits, we take advantage of our File 13 option and that's that. Well, every so often we come across one of these post-consumer messages that's so darned charming that one can almost smell the mulch in the grassroots and... what the hell, it's for a good cause. So when we hear that a bunch of Vista volunteers assigned to our local Battered Women's Shelter are going to bike halfway across the country to promote awareness of domestic violence and that they're going to hold a series of fundraisers at Ruta Maya Coffee House with fire-eaters and beer to fund the jaunt, we just have to grin. Visions of Spanky & Alfalfa putting on the follies to save the orphans can't be far away. Bike Against Domestic Violence is said group of do-goodie road shredders out to spread the word about the new National Domestic Hotline. Unfortunately, we can't give you the actual hotline phone number as it is being kept top secret so that President Clinton can make the first call (Bill, we had no idea it was that bad at home...), so you'll just have to wait. Sorry. Anyhoo, the BADV crew is made up of Vista volunteers from all over the U.S., assigned to Austin to work on Project Courage, a domestic violence-awareness initiative of the Texas Council on Family Violence. The benefit follies at Ruta Maya, 4th & Lavaca, feature bands, breakdancers who used to be gang members(!), poetry, and them fire-eatin' Lesbian Avengers. For every $2 you donate you get a beer and the warm feeling that you are doing... er... something. We'll report more on this as the benefits develop. Three shows are scheduled: Fridays, Feb 9, Feb 23, and Mar 8, one person says 5-9pm, another says 6-9pm, and yet another 6-10pm, so go at 5pm, hang out on the slab, smoke a stogie, and look suave. 480-0039.

[[perthousand]]Don't forget the Battered Women's Shelter's Valentine`s Gala, Sat, Feb 10, 8pm, 823 Congress. Plus! Last week's Women, Beer, & Cigars event at Maggie Mae's, canceled due to the "blizzard," has been rescheduled for (tonight), Thu, Feb 8, 6:30pm. 385-5181 or 728-4984. n