• FILM

  • SEARCH FOR

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

Directed by David Bowers. Starring Jason Drucker, Alicia Silverstone, Tom Everett Scott, Charlie Wright, Chris Coppola, Joshua Hoover, Owen Asztalos. (2017, PG, 90 min.)

REVIEWED By Steve Davis, Fri., May 19, 2017

Here’s the thing about kid actors: They grow up. Voices deepen; bodies change. Given the movie industry’s obsessive need to sequelize everything until the numbers no longer add up, the natural maturation process can quickly age a franchise dependent upon fossilized cast members to remain forever young, Harry Potter notwithstanding. In this fourth onscreen installment of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, a newly minted Jason Drucker assumes the titular role of the perennially put-upon middle-schooler, Greg Heffley, presumably because Zachary Gordon, who originated the character back in 2010, turned the corner of puberty long ago. In fact, the new movie features an entirely refurbished Heffley family, including former Aerosmith music-video siren Alicia Silverstone wearing the mom jeans this time around, and onetime Tom Hanks look-alike Tom Everett Scott doing that Dad thing he does. Quite frankly, it doesn’t make much difference who plays these parts, though Silverstone has a couple of effective moments as the parent who futilely attempts to wean her family from their electronic devices and direct their attention to one another during an eventful four-day road trip through middle America to attend Meemaw’s 90th birthday party. Otherwise, the actors (both professional and nonprofessional) perform each scene – each shot, for that matter – as if it had no relationship at all to the rest of film, with the emphasis more on energy levels rather than credible characterizations. Call it the Nickelodeon style of acting: Mugs for everybody!

Along the way, diapers cling, pigs crap, ducks attack, vomit spews, mud splatters, dough explodes, and embarrassing video clips go viral, further sharpening the slings and arrows of outrageous pre-adolescence for miserable Greg. What’s missing here? The satirically edged animated illustrations by series creator Jeff Kinney, which would have made this Wimpy Kid less cartoonish, ironically enough. Although the movie is imminently forgettable (despite a clever but incongruous send-up of the shower scene in Psycho), two things linger for reasons unrelated to quality. First, the father figures depicted here are hardly role models for youngsters to emulate. When they’re not using a cell phone while driving the family SUV, they’re directing their offspring to steal personal property. And second, this may mark the first time human turds splashing in a toilet are audible on a movie soundtrack. No doubt, the under-10 crowd will love this bathroom vulgarity, even more so when their adult chaperones experience a flush of embarrassment. As every kid (wimpy or not) knows, there’s nothing funnier on this planet than the plop of poop – except for maybe a loud, rumbling, wet fart.

Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline

14028 U.S. Hwy. 183 N.  512/861-7070

drafthouse.com/austin/theater/lakeline

TUE MAY 23

3:25, 6:00, 9:10
AFA: 9:50am, 12:50

WED MAY 24

9:50am, 12:25, 3:25, 6:00, 9:10

Barton Creek Square (AMC)

2901 South Capital of Texas Hwy  512/306-1991

www.amctheatres.com

Matinee discounts available before 4pm daily. Bring Your Baby matinees the first Tuesday of every month.

TUE MAY 23

Recliners;Reserved Seating: 11:00am, 1:30, 4:00, 6:30, 9:00

WED MAY 24

Recliners;Reserved Seating: 11:00am, 1:30, 4:00, 6:30, 9:00

THU MAY 25

Recliners;Reserved Seating: 11:00am, 1:30, 4:00, 6:30, 9:00

Cinemark Hill Country Galleria 14

12812 Hill Country Blvd., Bee Cave  800/326-3264

www.cinemark.com/theater_showtimes.asp?theater_id=377

TUE MAY 23

digital: 11:00am, 1:40, 4:15, 7:05, 9:45

WED MAY 24

digital: 11:00am, 1:40, 4:15, 7:05, 9:45

Cinemark Round Rock

4401 N. I-35, Round Rock  800/326-3264

Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium. Call theatre for complete March 26-28 showtimes.

TUE MAY 23

digital: 11:00am, 1:35, 4:15, 7:00, 9:40

WED MAY 24

digital: 11:00am, 1:35, 4:15, 7:00, 9:40

Cinemark Southpark Meadows

9900 S. I-35  800/326-3264

Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium.

TUE MAY 23

digital: 11:10am, 1:50, 4:45, 7:10, 9:45

WED MAY 24

digital: 11:10am, 1:50, 4:45, 7:10, 9:45

Cinemark Stone Hill Town Center

18820 Hilltop Commercial Dr., Pflugerville  512/251-0938

www.cinemark.com

TUE MAY 23

digital: 12:00, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15, 9:30

WED MAY 24

digital: 12:00, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15, 9:30

City Lights Theatre

420 Wolf Ranch Parkway, Georgetown  512/868-9922

TUE MAY 23

12:55, 3:45, 6:30, 9:40

WED MAY 24

12:55, 3:45, 6:30, 9:40

THU MAY 25

12:55, 3:45, 6:30, 9:40

EVO Entertainment

3200 Kyle Crossing, Kyle  512/523-9009

www.evo-entertainment.com

TUE MAY 23

11:15am, 1:45, 4:20, 6:45, 9:10

WED MAY 24

11:15am, 1:45, 4:20, 6:45, 9:10

THU MAY 25

11:15am, 1:45, 4:20, 6:45, 9:10

Galaxy Highland 10

6700 Middle Fiskville  512/467-7305

www.galaxytheatres.com

No one under 18 will be allowed in the theatre on Friday or Saturday after 7pm without an adult.

TUE MAY 23

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 6:35, 9:00

WED MAY 24

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 6:35, 9:00

THU MAY 25

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 6:35, 9:00

FRI MAY 26

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 6:35, 9:00

SAT MAY 27

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 10:05am, 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 6:35, 9:00

SUN MAY 28

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 10:05am, 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 6:35, 9:00

MON MAY 29

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 6:35, 9:00

TUE MAY 30

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 6:35, 9:00

WED MAY 31

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:00, 2:15, 4:30, 6:35, 9:00

THU JUN 01

Gateway Theatre

9700 Stonelake  512/416-5700

Discounts daily before 6pm. Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium.

TUE MAY 23

CC/DVS: 12:30, 3:15, 6:30, 9:30

WED MAY 24

CC/DVS: 12:30, 3:15, 6:30, 9:30

THU MAY 25

CC/DVS: 12:30, 3:15, 6:30, 9:30

Hometown Cinemas

120 MLK Jr. Industrial Blvd. W, Lockhart  512/398-4100

www.hometowncinemas.com

TUE MAY 23

12:05, 2:25, 4:40, 7:00

WED MAY 24

12:05, 2:25, 4:40, 7:00

THU MAY 25

12:05, 2:25, 4:40, 7:00

FRI MAY 26

12:05, 2:25, 4:40, 7:00, 9:15

SAT MAY 27

12:05, 2:25, 4:40, 7:00, 9:15

SUN MAY 28

12:05, 2:25, 4:40, 7:00, 9:15

MON MAY 29

12:05, 2:25, 4:40, 7:00

iPic Theaters Austin

3225 Amy Donovan Plaza  512/568-3400

www.ipic.com

TUE MAY 23

11:50am, 2:30, 5:10, 8:00, 10:55

WED MAY 24

11:50am, 2:20, 5:10, 8:00, 11:00

FRI MAY 26

12:20, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00

SAT MAY 27

12:20, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00

SUN MAY 28

12:20, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00

MON MAY 29

12:20, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00

TUE MAY 30

12:20, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00

WED MAY 31

12:20, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00

Schulman Theatres Lost Pines 8

1600 Chestnut St, Bastrop  512/321-0123

www.schulmantheatres.com

TUE MAY 23

10:25am, 1:05, 4:05, 6:45, 9:45

WED MAY 24

10:25am, 1:05, 4:05, 6:45, 9:45

THU MAY 25

10:25am, 1:05, 4:05, 6:45, 9:45

Metropolitan

901 Little Texas  512/447-0101

Discounts daily before 6pm. Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium.

TUE MAY 23

CC/DVS: 11:50am, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00, 9:30

WED MAY 24

CC/DVS: 11:50am, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00, 9:30

THU MAY 25

CC/DVS: 11:50am, 1:50, 4:20, 7:00, 9:30

Moviehouse & Eatery

8300 N. FM 620, Bldg. B  512/501-3520

www.themoviehouse.com/austin/

TUE MAY 23

12:20, 3:20, 6:00, 8:45

WED MAY 24

12:20, 3:20, 6:00, 8:45

THU MAY 25

12:20, 3:20, 6:00, 8:45

ShowBiz Cinemas 8 Marble Falls

2600 Hwy 281 North, Marble Falls

Call theatre for August 22-23 showtimes.

TUE MAY 23

2:05, 4:20, 6:40

WED MAY 24

2:05, 4:20, 6:40

THU MAY 25

2:05, 4:20, 6:40, 9:00

FRI MAY 26

11:05am, 1:20, 3:45, 6:40, 9:05

SAT MAY 27

11:05am, 1:20, 3:45, 6:40, 9:05

SUN MAY 28

11:05am, 1:20, 3:45, 6:40, 9:05

MON MAY 29

11:05am, 1:20, 3:45, 6:40, 9:05

TUE MAY 30

11:05am, 1:20, 3:45, 6:40, 9:05

WED MAY 31

11:05am, 1:20, 3:45, 6:40, 9:05

THU JUN 01

11:05am, 1:20, 3:45, 6:40, 9:05

Starplex 12 San Marcos

1250 Wonder World Drive, San Marcos  512/805-8000

TUE MAY 23

11:15am, 1:45, 4:20, 6:45, 9:10

WED MAY 24

11:15am, 1:45, 4:20, 6:45, 9:10

THU MAY 25

11:15am, 1:45, 4:20, 6:45, 9:10

Tinseltown North

N. I-35 & FM 1825, Pflugerville  512/989-8535

Cost for 3-D and XD shows is regular ticket price plus a premium.

TUE MAY 23

digital: 9:45am, 12:20, 2:55, 5:30, 8:05, 10:40

Westgate 11

4477 S. Lamar Blvd  512/899-2717

Discounts daily before 6pm. Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium.

TUE MAY 23

CC/DVS: 10:45am, 1:15, 3:45, 6:15, 8:45

WED MAY 24

CC/DVS: 10:45am, 1:15, 3:45, 6:15, 8:45

THU MAY 25

CC/DVS: 10:45am, 1:15, 3:45
READ MORE
More David Bowers Films
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
This third film in the tween series is funny without being in any way condescending to its target audience.

Marc Savlov, Aug. 3, 2012

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules
Wimpy kid, wimpy movie.

Kimberley Jones, April 1, 2011

More by Steve Davis
Snatched
A mother/daughter vacation from hell

May 12, 2017

Truman
Spanish film deals with serious issues in subtle ways

May 5, 2017

KEYWORDS FOR THIS FILM

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul, David Bowers, Jason Drucker, Alicia Silverstone, Tom Everett Scott, Charlie Wright, Chris Coppola, Joshua Hoover, Owen Asztalos

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
This content has not been formatted for this window size.
Please increase the size of your browser window, or revisit this page on a mobile device.
NEWSLETTERS
AC Daily, Events and Promotions, Luvdoc Answers

Breaking news, recommended events, and more

Official Chronicle events, promotions, and giveaways

Updates for SXSW 2017

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)