Yo. If, like us, you've long harbored a burning desire to force perfect strangers to dance like Balki on an Ecstasy-and-Red Bull bender but only knew of "wheels of steel" as an old Saxon song, your time has arrived, along with your "wheels" (aka turntables); your new, improved vinyl collection; and – d'oh! – your talent! Sensei-wit-da-mojobatics DJ Manny and DJ Bigface (Look! His face! It's big!) not only sell the gear to keep you rollin' in style and substance, they'll also drop so much turntable science on your heretofore lame, un-beat-matchable pseudo-bootie that in no time at all you'll be saying, "Paul Oaken who?" Okay, okay, so everyone younger than 30 says that these days. Still and yo: Get the mad skills, get the mad honeys, and get on with it already. Sasha and Dick-something-or-other await. Word to your MILF.
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