Lovey and Lovey: Tippling twosome toasts the town (but no titillation, please)
The gin-soaked alter egos of comedians Tami Nelson and Michael Jastroch dish on Austin, alcohol, and their new show
Who doesn't love a cocktail? Rather, who doesn't love a cocktail more than Lovey and Lovey? The comic alter egos of ColdTowne's Michael Jastroch and Tami Nelson swill enough hooch to make Albee's boozehounds George and Martha seem like members of the Temperance Society. Concocted when Nelson and Jastroch were still living in New Orleans and still dating, Lovey and Lovey have outlasted their creators' romantic relationship and gone on to earn Best of the Fest honors in the 2005 Lone Star Sketch Festival and 2008 FronteraFest. This month, the Loveys headline a sketch-comedy revue at the United States Art Authority. They were kind enough to answer a few questions between highballs.
Austin Chronicle: What brought two such well-traveled continentals to Austin?
Lovey (him): Lovey thought that the desert climate would stop her from aging, what with her daily regimen of cigarettes, scotch, and conspicuous consumption. A doctor friend of ours, one Mr. Doctor Parker, cried, "Quackery!" but Lovey doesn't trust anyone educated past the eighth grade. Why is that again, Lovey?
Lovey (her): Mr. Doctor Parker is no friend of mine. He refused to approve a prescription of morphine for my terrible morning headaches. He's not a real doctor, anyway. I saw him on public access talking about zoning applications and wearing a terrible toupee. Any doctor worth his salt knows how to do scalp transplants. Quackery, indeed. And about Austin: I haven't aged a day since I've been here!
AC: What in this upcoming show will delight and titillate audiences?
Lovey (him): I'll be honest with you, Robert, I'm uncomfortable with the idea of titillation. It's an uncomfortable word, and I'll have none of it at my show. It's far too feminine. Let's call it something more masculine like peckify or thrustulating. Yes, what will thrustulate the audience?
We've led fascinating lives, though it's hard to remember the details, filtered as they are through all the drink. Why, I think we "first met" at least five times. Near as I can recall, I've worked as a funeral director, a pilot, a 9-1-1 operator, and a census taker. I was also a professional gambler, though I lost my shirt when the last horse I bet on, Goddamned Stopwatch, came in dead last. It's a tough thing, supporting Lovey's habits.
AC: What's your favorite cocktail for enduring these beastly Texas summers?
Lovey (him): Scotch, or as I call it, God's Milk. We're also fond of Champagne, grasshoppers, Kentucky whiskey, Sazeracs, Tennessee whiskey, rum – Barbados, Jamaican, Caribbean, Caribbean-American, Cuban, Dominican, Mexican, Yucatan, South Carolinian, New Mexican, Haitian, Tibetan, and Canadian only – bourbon, booze that comes in candy, Venetian spritzers, Mongolian Wet Naps, Puddle Jumpers, racist cocktails, and ethanol. Robert, I'm sorry for not making a more complete list for you, but I'm in a rush and had to reference our performance rider.
Lovey (her): Oh, Lovey, I'm off Puddle Jumpers for a while. Remember last time we had them? It took me three weeks to get off that freighter. However I did make some wonderful sea friends. If you are reading this, Randy Combes, you owe me $73. Right now, my favorite drink is the "Arrggarita." It comes with a skull and crossbones flag in it. It's all about nostalgia for me.
Michael Jastroch and Tami Nelson present Lovey and Lovey Fridays, July 11-25, 10pm at the United States Art Authority, 2908 Fruth. For more information, visit www.unitedstatesartauthority.com.