Mario DiGiorgio

On the cynic's side of the street

Mario DiGiorgio

"Street musicians are a treasure. Make a small donation, then tell them they suck."

"Learn to fake enthusiasm."

"Make yourself a hot fudge sundae, then eat it in bed. You fat piece of shit."

If these sentiments strike you as perverse twists on the sort of syrupy exhortations found in all those so-called inspirational tomes clogging up the nation's bookshelves, then you're on the wavelength of comic Mario DiGiorgio. Or perhaps you've already picked up his self-published A Cynic's Guide to a Rich and Full Life at BookPeople, Flipnotics, or another local outlet. Some 1,500 folks have in the last 10 months – not exactly New York Times bestsellers list numbers, but enough to interest a legit press in a sequel and to draw new fans to DiGiorgio's stand-up gigs, such as the one this week at Cap City Comedy Club, where the 1999 Funniest Person in Austin is co-headlining with Minneapolis rising star Kjell Bjorgen. The Chronicle caught up with the self-described cynic for some tips on looking at life through coal-colored glasses.

Austin Chronicle: What act of human inadequacy pushed you to write the guide?

Mario DiGiorgio: Well, let's see … when's the last time you went out in public? I waited tables for nearly a decade. That much hard time in the service industry would make Gandhi lose faith in humanity. Especially in school, when I would wait on spoiled future Republicans spending Dad's money and treating you like a servant. People would actually snap their fingers to "fetch" a waiter.

AC: What advice do you have for the budding cynic?

MD: Get a job at Vulcan Video. I'm kidding. I love getting judgmental sneers and scoffs from bearded emo kids when I'm in the mood to rent tragically unhip flicks like Back to the Future. Seriously, though, nip the urge right away. It's become cliché to hate everything, and you'll make yourself miserable.

AC: Let's see: a popular book, headlining at Cap City, exposure on Comedy Central, … for a cynic, your career is doing all right. Where do you see yourself in, say, 30 years?

MD: Out of breath from complaining.


Mario DiGiorgio performs May 23-27, Tuesday-Saturday, at Cap City Comedy Club, 8120 Research. For More information, visit www.capcitycomedy.com or www.bignoselittledog.com.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

READ MORE
More by Robert Faires
Valoneecia Tolbert Geeks Out in <i>Tales of a Blerd Ballerina</i>
Valoneecia Tolbert Geeks Out in Tales of a Blerd Ballerina
The actress looks back at what it was to be young, geeky, and Black

April 9, 2021

Vote for New Music in Golden Hornet's String Quartet Smackdown VII
Vote for New Music in Golden Hornet's String Quartet Smackdown VII
For the seventh year, Golden Hornet referees this composition competition while you decide the winner

March 26, 2021

KEYWORDS FOR THIS STORY

Mario DiGiorgio, Cap City Comedy Club, A Cynic's Guide to a Rich and Full Life, Funniest Person in Austin, Kjell Bjorgen, Comedy Central

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
NEWSLETTERS
One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

New recipes and food news delivered Mondays

Eric Goodman's Austin FC column, other soccer news

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle