Dear readers,

     In honor of the Chronicle's impending 30th anniversary (Sept. 4, 2011), and as the grunt who has compiled, edited, and vetted the letters to the editor for many years now - Editor Louis Black has final approval and handles the letters' headlines and editors' replies - I have compiled 30 letters from readers less than happy with our editorial content.

     There's nothing we at the Chronicle love more than getting feedback from our readers. And negative feedback is as welcome, if not more welcome, than feedback commending us on a job well done. Critical letters are much more likely to make it to the print edition than complimentary ones and almost always receive more prominent placement. Sometimes we agree with the letter-writers that yes, we indeed did mess up, and other times we just agree to disagree, but we love to hear from our readers either way.

     The two cover stories that have generated the most reader disgust in my time at the Chronicle (I started in July 2001) have been the ones christened the "crotch Bible" ("The New Texas Family Planning," News, Jan. 27, cover at right) and the "dead cats" ("What Happened to the No-Kill Millennium?," News, Nov. 18) covers. In honor of the controversies, we are running three letters about each.

     Please enjoy - and feel free to write in telling us what a stupid idea this is and what an idiot I am. - Mark Fagan

1) Was It Something We Said?

"Dear" Whoever,

     You people have a serious attitude problem! By the time I got through your Jan. 22 issue I was worn down by your snotty, groovier-then-thou, ultra-hip, snivelling, fuck-everybody attitude. Bowles is never going to endear himself to the Austin public by slamming the Cowboys, and that bitchy little weewee Tony Sivle told me nothing about the records he was reviewing, ad nauseum. I hope your publication dies a quick and painful death in the finest Austin tradition.

Rob Meurer

February 5, 1982

2) Biff Talks – Who Listens?

To Mr. Bowles,

     Included is a present that ought to give you many hours of orgasmic pleasure. It is the finding of the Biff Co. that you are totally incompetent as a sportswriter and should find a job more suitable to your talents, like bussing tables at Jack In The Box. Your sports knowledge is so limited that only your common sense is found in a lesser quantity in this world. You are obviously a throw back to the Neanderthal period and can't cope with the modern world. Do yourself and The Chronicle a favor and quit. The readers and the Biff Co. would appreciate it.

The Biff Co. Has Spoken

     This letter accompanied a box of baseball card bubble gum that Chronicle Sports Expert Bowles immediately and expertly identified as last year's stock. After an intensive round of comprehensive and dangerous tests, this opinion was verified by experts. We are all hoping Chris Walters will recover soon and be able to chew in time to do the much needed barbeque research necessary for our rapidly approaching Restaurant issue. The Chronicle believes in commitment. - Ed.

March 19, 1982

3) B. Merry's b seech b reft

     I was b trayed by B. Merry's imperative, "Do not miss this exhibit. Period." (Galleries listings last two issues), to visit the Patrick Gallery's showing of Bill Wiman's beefy paintings and hurried away in disb lief. Bad art. Huge photorealistic (come from the dead) images of common or defective Austin people; a fat woman in black dress whose only hardness lay in her eyes and about her mouth, and Austin Police woman uniformed, aberrant in her unwomanlike unpitying look, a body building whose pumped up body and vain stance seemed inversely proportional to mind or moral building, another woman's b hind resembling a double bass where a cello would have charmed, in all a vision of the ugly shallow side of life painted in monstrous exacting detail. If B. Merry will b giving advice on art, b ware.

Ric Harrington

June 10, 1983

4) Sickness and Blasphemy

Dear Austin Chronicle,

     The kind of blasphemy you people run really makes me sick, I mean really sick. For instance in your February 28 issue, right on page 14, your interviewer asks Lily Tomlin, "Who's the funniest person you ever met?" and she answers right away, without batting an eye, "Oh, God." Well I don't believe Lily Tomlin ever met God. And I don't believe God is funny. You're sick, that's all I can say. Really really sick.

Sincerely,

Albert Goldbarth

March 19, 1984

5) Let's Get Small

Dear Whoever Is in Charge of This Sort of Thing:

     Now I'm only 32, and all I want to do, is read The Chronicle without having to squint at the small type. Would it break the bank if you went up a couple or three points and printed an extra four pages to accomodate the increase? Just wondering

Steve Boehm

August 10, 1990

6) How Many Microbes Can Dance on the Head of a Pin?

Dear knuckleheads,

     RE: April 10 Chronicle, p.12: "80 percent of all living creatures are insects." What kind of ca-ca is that? Doesn't anyone read this stuff before it goes into print? I spit on your so-called fact, and in that one blob of spittle are more living bacteria and microbes than there are insects in all the bellies of the bats under the Congress Ave. Bridge. Of course, it's only science, so why should accuracy count?

Expectorantly yours,

Noah Einstein

April 17, 1992

7) Grammar Police

Dear Austin Chronicle Editor,

     There's a reason that our college junior English teachers told us to avoid dangling participles. I refer to this sentence in your "Environs" column of January 7:

     "After clearing hundreds of trees at Pedernales Falls State Park in an area known to contain golden-cheeked warblers, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) began a criminal investigation of the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department (TPWD)."

     It sounds to me like the FWS could have started its investigation of TPWD if FWS hadn't cleared all those trees. Is that what your writer meant, or did he just misplace his Strunk & White manual on that day?

     After reading that sentence, it needs to be clarified.

Sincerely,

Michael Simpson

Attorney & part-time grammar policeman

Jan. 14, 1994

8) Yes, a Long Season

Editor:

     I was dismayed to find the item "Graffiti/mural" listed in your "Best of Austin Poll Ballot." While many [of] Austin's neighborhoods work hard to keep graffiti out of their fences and walls, the Chronicle promotes it! Sure that not mentioning graffiti would not solve the problem, but including it in your "Best of Austin" list? Should the word get out, it's going to be a long season.

     Please be more careful with your choices next time. thank you for your cooperation.

Marianne Woolsey

May 31, 1996

9) Not Everyone Can Be as Smart as You

Editor:

     If Jay Hardwig is such a Red Sox fan, how come he doesn't know it was Tony Conigliaro who took a high and inside fastball to the eye, not Rico Petrocelli? With all the money the Chronicle rakes in, you can't hire a fact-checker?

George Klos

May 1, 1998

10) That's Andí Langer

Editor:

     Since y'all consistently misspell my name, I am having it legally changed from: J-A-C-O-B S-C-H-U-L-Z-E, jay ay see oh bee ess see aich you el zee eee, to: ANDY LANGER. From now on, Andy Langer is the guitarist in Davíd Garza's band. Please update your stylebook.

Respectfully yours,

Andy Langer (formerly Jacob Schulze)

March 19, 1999

11) More Than Meets the Ear

Editor:

     So Michael Bertin feels the songs on our new album are simply far too direct and "have all had their turns of phrase give way to straight shots," suggesting that we've chosen this path because it makes it easier than letting people "figure it out for themselves" ["Texas Platters," June 30]. Well, no, Michael, we still let the listener do that. Only it seems you didn't. Let's see, you listed "Gimme Back My Dog," "Some New Town," "Pinball Song," and "Lazy Guy" as examples of this perceived directness. Well guess what? "Gimme Back My Dog" isn't about someone wanting their dog back, "Some New Town" isn't about being in some new town at all, "Pinball Song" is definitely not about pinball, and "Lazy Guy," although it is about being one, is not so in a celebratory fashion as one who simply hasn't "figured it out" might hastily suppose. In fact, even our Replacements ripoff song, even though it makes a very obvious reference to the 'Mats musically and in name ("Placemat Blues" – you caught us there, you clever devil) isn't really about the Replacements at all. I won't give the subject of the song away however, I'll let you figure it out. But Michael, this might require some thinking, and it'll definitely require that you listen (gasp!!). Maybe more than once.

Brent Best

Slobberbone

July 7, 2000

12) 'I Feel You Are an Asshole, Sir'

Editor:

     I recently sent you an e-mail regarding sending clips of my writing to you and got no reply. I sent clips last year to Raoul Hernandez. I did not expect a response from him because his writing is so unreadable and rambling, why would he want to have someone write for the Chron that can actually follow a thought all the way through. I wrote better when I was in junior high than he writes now. Your publication sucks, SXSW is a fucking overrated, overpriced, incestual joke. You have so many writers that are examples of how not to write properly. Self-centered bullshit as opposed to insightful prose is the typical fare for the shit-rag AusChron. Why my honesty now? I'll tell you. Saturday night I was jumped in front of Antone's and beaten for no apparent reason. My friend, brother, cousin, and myself beat the guy badly but I'm still all fucked up. He insisted that he had hit the wrong guy and that he was sorry. This is not the first time I've been attacked in downtown Austin, just the first time someone was successful in doing so. I filed a police report but those bastards could not care any less, and they all but told me this. So I'm done with downtown and all the wannabe rock stars in this town, the whole fucking half-ass, loser music scene here has little value anyhow, except to opportunistic assholes like you at the Chron that successfully water down the entire music community for your own gain. Maybe you guys over there could collectively pull your heads out of each other's asses and open your minds, but I doubt this. I just wanted to convey to you that I feel you are an asshole, sir, and that your music coverage is far too motivated by personal grudges and friendships, and does not even closely approach true journalism. Please express to your staff that I feel they are all half-ass losers, drunks, and hacks. I bet you will reply to this one though, won't you, dickhead?

Fuck off,

DC Hudson

Nov. 30, 2001

13) Irresponsible Election Coverage

Dear Editor:

     Whatever happened to the Chronicle as a responsible, reliable source for important information on our fair city? Your local election coverage of recent weeks has sunk to appalling new lows.

     First, not a word on the voting records of the incumbents. Did they do what they said they were going to do? Do they have any new ideas? Are there good excuses for why the city finances are in shambles following one of the longest runs of prosperity in history? What are they doing about the pollution of Barton Springs? About our unhealthy air? About the scandals in the Parks Department? About our disappearing homegrown small businesses? And do the challengers have better ideas on these issues and others?

     You won't find the answers in the Chronicle. The Chronicle printed exactly one article comparing the positions of council candidates on key issues. So much for taking the council races seriously. In that one article, Mike Clark-Madison "quoted" Kirk Mitchell but never spoke to him. Did he speak to the other candidates?

     The Chronicle then endorsed the incumbents without candidate questionnaires or candidate interviews. Thus lacking information, the Chronicle resorted to name calling. Kirk Mitchell was labeled a "one issue" candidate when he won the endorsement of the Sierra Club and the Austin Neighborhoods Together PAC based on detailed questionnaires and a long list of good ideas on a wide range of issues.

     Then on the extremely well-written and much-needed Prop. 1 Clean Campaigns initiative Editor Black argued against (while the editorial board made no endorsement) claiming that we don't have a problem with big money corrupting local politics so we don't need Prop 1. Is Austin somehow immune from the plague of corporate ownership of our public institutions? Perhaps he can explain why the Council did a $10-plus million deal with Intel but never had a contract. Or why $150 million in extra money for roads can appear out of the back room while Barton Springs is poisoned and we just can't seem to afford affordable housing.

     To top it all, the editorial board writes that if only the right had not built all those sprawl roads while if only the left had let them build more sprawl roads, then Austin would be better off.

     The only thing clear is that the Chronicle, like Barton Springs, now perfectly reflects the lack of vision, thoughtfulness, and leadership that currently plagues our city.

Just one voter's opinion,

Bill Bunch

April 26, 2002

14) 'Chronicle' Sucks! Thoughtful Critique Offered

Editor,

     Your paper sucks. Just because some jackoff from Tomball has some extremely conservative and ignorant viewpoints doesn't mean she summarizes the Republican opinion on public education ["Top 10 Lege Moments," News, Jan. 2]. No more than Al Sharpton represents the Democratic view on gay marriages. Whoever compiled your Top 10 lists is an elitist ultra-left-wing prick that needs to stop reading MoveOn.org so much and gain some original thoughts. Stop bantering on about the same bullshit as Al Franken and Michael Moore. Also, please keep up the good work in reviewing live shows and movies.

Thanks,

Dan Cabaniss

Jan. 9, 2004

15) Thanks, but Story Disrespectful, Ignorant, and Offensive

Dear Editor,

     Hi. I am relatively new to Austin, and have been really psyched about the town thus far. I am always on the update with the Chronicle; I make sure to grab it every Thursday. However, I've never read anything in it that has made me question the author as much as this article has ["The Death of Ben Brownlee," News, Jan. 30]. I would first like to thank you for helping get the story out – these issues absolutely must be recognized and dealt with. But, jeez, it was about a transgendered person. Why not give her the respect she deserves by identifying her as she identified herself in life?! It seems to me to be disrespectful to all LGBTQ people out there to disregard such very basic wishes. It also seems disrespectful to a person who has passed away. Now, I'm not trying to specifically point any fingers here. The author and subsequent editor may very well be just plain ignorant of such issues in depth – therefore, perhaps you all didn't know that this was disrespectful at all. However, as the human (as well as big ol' queer!) that I am, I find it more than slightly annoying and offensive to disregard a person's such basic rights to identity.

     Perhaps it was the desire of Tesía's family to eliminate all the s's from the "hes." And I can see how that could be a serious problem in journalism – what the writer versus the writee thinks is just. However, in times like these, with gender and sexuality issues being seen as they are by the majority of the world, mayhaps we could inject just a little more sympathy into media coverage of these and other such unpopular issues. Especially when they are dealing with folks who have passed on.

     But hey – we have come a long, long way when the cover story is about transgender awareness.

Thanks,

Britt Kline

Feb. 4, 2004

16) More Love for Darcie: Music Scene Thriving in Spite of 'Chronicle'!

Dear Editor,

     I realize that Darcie-bashing is a regular fixture of your letters page, but this time she has really excelled herself. Can she please make up her mind if Red River is "dried up ... as empty as George W.'s promises" ["One Night on Red River," Music, Nov. 5, 2004] or if it is "rich [and] alive" ["99 Bands," Music, July 8]?

     Not only were her "reviews" slapdash and cliché, many of the bands she listed had simultaneous sets. From this I am forced to conclude, her weird use of doublespeak notwithstanding, she either posseses the power of teleportation or didn't really take the time to watch more than 30 seconds of each band.

     We have come to expect this level of hackery from national publications, but from a paper that prides itself on being part of the solution this kind of fluff not only fails to give credit to the bands in Austin that deserve it most, her article ends up looking like an archived gig list, albeit without the venue addresses. Once again, Darcie Stevens proves that the Austin music scene thrives in spite of the Chronicle and not because of it.

Mary Malton

July 11, 2005

17) Never Have a Similar Cover

Dear Editor,

     Re: Your horrible cover this week ["What Happened to the No-Kill Millennium?," News, Nov. 18]. Do not ever do this again! I care very much about the fact that there are way too many kitties being euthanized because they have no homes.

     But you have visually assaulted me with your cover. I have torn it off and I refuse to look at it.

     This sort of stuff belongs inside. You wouldn't put pictures of aborted babies or blown-apart soldiers on the front cover, would you?

     Have a heart and think next time. I am absolutely appalled at your insensitivity this week.

Sincerely,

Susan J. Strobel

Nov. 25, 2005

18) Aborted Fetuses = Dead Kittens

Dear Editor,

     For a publication that I'm sure would not hesitate to vilify pro-lifer's holding up disgusting giant photos of aborted fetuses, I'm surprised to see you resort to their reactionary tactics. The cover of this week's Chronicle is fucking gross ["What Happened to the No-Kill Millennium?," News, Nov. 18]. I like little kitties as much as you do, and hate to see them euthanized in such large numbers, but frankly you could have made your point without grouping yourselves in with people whose tactics are widely regarded as vile and disgusting.

Regards,

Mike "Dub" Wainwright

Nov. 25, 2005

19) Cover Exploitative

Dear Editor,

     I was shocked and disgusted by the cover of the Chronicle this week ["What Happened to the No-Kill Millennium?," News, Nov. 18]. I realize that the story needs attention, but putting pictures of dead cats on the cover page is exploitative and appalling. Would you put a long line of dead human beings on the cover? No, because that would be considered in poor taste. I should at least have to open the paper up and flip through it before I'm forced to look at something so grisly and upsetting!

Melissa Johanningsmeier

Dec. 2, 2005

20) Cover Is a Desecration

Dear Editor,

     You did a huge disservice to pro-choice Christians everywhere with the photo featured on the front page ["The New Texas Family Planning," News, Jan. 27]. Shame on you for "throwing the baby out with the bath water" and grouping all Christians in the same right-wing boat. A little more restraint might be in order next time! Seriously offensive! Also, what is the difference between the desecration of the Koran by U.S. troops in Iraq and your depiction of the Bible on your cover story?

Tara Fink

Feb. 3, 2006

21) Cover Downright Offensive

Dear Editor,

     I, my husband, my 3-year-old daughter, and my 6-year-old son just returned from Culver's where our children enjoy burgers and ice cream. I was disgusted as I walked in the restaurant door to immediately see the image of a woman with her bare legs spread open on an examining table, feet in stirrups, and a Family Edition Holy Bible in front of her genital area ["The New Texas Family Planning," News, Jan. 27]. I immediately turned it over in hopes that my children had not seen it. I then told the manager with that kind of welcome, I wouldn't want to continue eating there and I wouldn't be surprised if other families wouldn't either. I will tell you, until tonight I consulted your paper for restaurants, movies, and ideas for outings. However, I just lost every ounce of interest or respect for your paper. I don't care what your politics or beliefs are, your cover photo was downright offensive and disrespectful to women, to families, to Christians, to anyone with small children, to medical professionals, and more. Should businesses continue distributing your paper or advertise in it given its total disregard for their mainstream customers?

Michelle Earle

Feb. 3, 2006

22) Pathetic Excuse for Journalism

Dear Editor,

     Your cover photo of a spread-eagled woman with a Holy Bible shoved into her crotch is the most vile, disgusting, and pathetic excuse for journalism I have seen in a long time ["The New Texas Family Planning," News, Jan. 27].

     It is one thing to express a political opinion in favor of abortion and against government sex education policies. It is quite another to promote the desecration of sacred objects as you did.

     Why is it only Christians that may be disparaged and attacked with impunity? You would never desecrate a Koran or Torah in such a way, and this speaks volumes about your bigotry.

     You have reached new lows in cheap political stunts and you now, more than ever, do not deserve the title of journalists.

Scott Spinola

Feb. 3, 2006

23) Blah, Blah, Blah, Arrogant Snot-Nosed, Blah, Blah, Liberal Psychosis

Hey Louis, Your online reply to my most-recent screed got me to thinking ["Postmarks" online, Feb. 28]. You, the Chronicle, the Statesman, and the left in general seem loath to address opinions and ideas that mirror my own. And when those ideas do surface, I get the usual condescending browbeating "bums rush" from the left as if how dare I disagree with the all-knowing liberal left. Well, it's that arrogant snot-nosed attitude that I not only do dare to confront and rail against, but revel in exposing liberal psychosis much like the little boy who announced that the emperor had no clothes. And, as an ex-liberal, I can and will reply "in kind" to liberals who seem to think their shit doesn't stink, so to speak. Nothing impresses me less than condescending, uppity liberal reprobates wallowing in hypocritical blame-shifting while looking down their noses at anyone who dares to disagree with them, when in fact most liberals wouldn't know the truth about much of anything if it fell on them. Then there's the Dan Rather syndrome that plagues many folks afflicted with liberal psychosis. Those poor souls want something to be true so bad that they will do and say anything to bend and twist reality to fit their ill-conceived premises. So Louis, these people must respond to my opinions. They can't help themselves. If I can't be silenced or forced to "admit the error of my ways," they have no choice but to attack. If I can't see what beautiful clothes the emperor has, then I must be an idiot or a moron. Then when their sophomoric guilt-tripping and browbeating doesn't work, they must pull out all the stops and attack those who threaten to expose their ruse. Nothing pisses off liberals like being disagreed with, mocked, and in fact beaten at their own game. So I don't write to hear them howl at the moon like rabid cats, it's just the nature of the beast ... usually. Funnier still is their ludicrous demands for decorum as if they are the self-appointed arbiters of who may use First Amendment rights; to include when, how, and where. And of those pompous assholes I would ask, what part of go fuck yourself don't they understand?

Sincerely, Kurt Standiford

March 9, 2007

24) Hates the 'Chronicle'

Dear Editor,

     I hate you. I need to say that up front. You just infuriate me beyond measure. How in the world can you continue on your so-called progressive call-to-arms vis-à-vis your insipid materialism? Are any of you actually from Austin? You have the gall to print an article on how pricey Austin has become ["No Room at the Complex," News, Sept. 14], an article mashed between advertisements for vehicles only a certain tax-bracket can afford and a notice of the Proposed Hearing on the Travis County Budget (!) in the same issue as the big honkin' ACL Fest pullout, as if you're not in it for the money. You guys used to be so cool; now you're just ad men for the Chamber of Commerce. By the way, it's 6 1/2 pages of legal notices this edition.

Duron J. Davis

Sept. 17, 2007

25) Listing Was Inappropriate

Dear Mr. Black,

     I wish to voice my absolute disgust at the listing of my exhibition at the Else Madsen Gallery in your publication [Arts Listings, Sept. 14]. You will quite understand my reaction if you read what has been written on p.94.

     How can anyone write, "Drawings based on casualties of the World Trade Center destruction, the Iraq war, Hurricane Katrina, and the species expected to go extinct in this century. Happy happy, joy joy." It is outrageous.

     Can you imagine how anyone who has had a loved one killed in any of these events would react to this listing? I would not be surprised if I started getting hate mail as a result of this misrepresentation of the wording I sent to your listings department.

     I have been working for more than 30 years on concerns most of us have for the state of our world – and the consequences of our actions in the future – and this exhibition addresses some of those issues.

     The performance in which I wrote the names of some of the casualties of the Iraq war (on a drawing that is an ongoing project and will be completed when the last casualty is recorded) was conducted with the greatest solemnity. I wore all black clothing, as did the directors of Else Madsen Gallery and other members of the audience, and no alcohol was served during the evening.

     I hope you will take the necessary steps to redress this egregious insertion that desecrates the memory of those who have been killed and reflects on the integrity of my work.

Sincerely,

Claude van Lingen

Sept. 18, 2007

26) Palin Is 'Not a Bitch Like Hillary'

Dear Editor, I like reading your letters to the editor to gauge the argument of the opposition. Seeing all the nasty letters last week regarding Sarah Palin confirms my belief that she scares the shit out of the left. In my opinion, she does this for the following reasons: 1) she loves her husband, and they have a happy, long-term, monogamous marriage; 2) she is attractive and smart and funny; 3) she believes in the sanctity of life so much that she was willing to deliver and raise a special-needs child rather than taking the coward's way out and killing it; 4) she has a husband who is a union member and blue-collar worker; 5) she has a son who is not a coward and is going to Iraq to fight in a war that we are winning; 6) she believes that guns should be in the hands of citizens and not criminals; 7) she actually knows something about oil and gas and energy production; 8) she stood up to special interests in her party when needed, something that the messianic coward, Obama, never did; 9) she believes in God and is not afraid to talk about it; and finally, 10) she's not a bitch like Hillary. I think the last 20% of your publication gives a pretty good idea of the kind of freaks that read it, and I know that to them she poses a threat. So the fear and hysteria is understandable. But since your guy Obama is going to win in November, there's no problem. Check the polls lately?

Gregory D. Solcher

Sept. 16, 2008

27) 'I Swallowed My Tongue'

Dear Editor,

     I am writing to you regarding the phantasmagorilicious review of Fits by Raoul Hernandez [Record Review, Music, Oct. 23]. His rendered regaling of unexplainable, ubiquitous prose led me down a befuddled, topsy-turvy rattled path of extreme mystification as to how one could conjure up said thoughts after listening to White Denim's newest LP. Somehow synthesizing senses, a media mephitis bubbled forth as written words cunningly coalesced into crap. His perineal pining was a crappy clanging cacophony of theosaurohalucigenic prepostera. It evoked an arhythmic nauseopshychosis in my rockish rollish selfsame soul. My predispository boogievibe is woundsmacked beyond consolitory rehabilitation ... and yeah, dude, I swallowed my tongue.

Rhett Flowers

Oct. 27, 2009

28) Marc Savlov Has a Fan

Dear Chronicle,

     Marjorie Baumgarten is to film reviews what my mom is to film reviews: If she hates it, I know I'll love it. Baumgarten is, in a word, terrible. Has been for a long time. I could recount myriad times when her reviews were bafflingly off – she gave The Perfect Storm four stars, for Ebert's sake! [Film Listings, June 30, 2000] – but I'm writing this letter because she's finally moved from incompetent and myopic to downright offensive. In her headline review of An Education [Film Listings, Nov. 13], Baumgarten wonders if the sexual acts in the film will meet with moral resistance "In these times, which seem angrier than ever regarding such things as Roman Polanski's sexual activities in the Sixties." She blithely translates "rape" into "sexual activities," implying that outrage over Polanski's three-decade skirting of the law is somehow puritanical or misplaced. Wrong, Marjorie, very wrong. You may have some long-abiding affection for Polanski's directorial skills (which, let's be honest, are way overstated), but that doesn't excuse jabbing your readership for their misguided outrage at his avoidance of justice. Polanski raped a girl in the Sixties, Marjorie; he didn't just take part in some "sexual activities." Frankly, you should've been out of a job long ago. Your criticism is shallow, imbued with an obvious ignorance of film history, and, perhaps worst of all, boring. So do all of us film (and Marc Savlov) fans a favor: Retire. You can spend your golden years praising Polanski in a blog somewhere and rewatching that piece of celluloidic excrement The Perfect Storm.

Regards,

Andy Buck

[Editor's note: To clarify, The Perfect Storm film review published in the Chronicle was written by Marc Savlov, not Marjorie Baumgarten.]

Nov. 16, 2009

29) The Font's the Thing

Dear Editor,

     All that effort for a cover ["The Play's the Thing," Dec. 11] to rightfully match the article on Linklater's period film and no apostrophe?! If you are going to pay attention to the details (the weathering, the choice of typefaces, the large half-tone dot on both photos and headline – even changing the paper's masthead), note your quotation marks are not rendered the same as the "apostrophe," as that's a "prime" or "foot" mark. That's a three-fourths-inch gaffe that should have been addressed before the shadows were added in Photoshop. I'm just sayin'.

Marc English

Marc English Design

Dec. 11, 2009

30) Black's Blather

Dear Editor,

     Louis Black writes another tirade about the smoking ban ["Page Two," Jan. 15]. He alleges that pro-ban voters are less concerned about health hazards than a desire to push their concept of morality on others. And then he excuses a second contingent of nonsmoking, anti-ban types (including himself) who voted against the ban for the ideological reason that the gummint should stay out of people's business even in cases when their motivation is to limit the public's risk of developing lung cancer.

     It's self-evident that the approximately 200 businesses this law affects are places where people go at night to enjoy a beverage or to hear music or both. That was the statute's intent. The large number of buildings where smoking was already eliminated is not apropos to why this specific law was proposed. Those 200 businesses have a whopping significance in that they include virtually every live music venue in the city. There are a dozen or so such clubs that comprise the backbone of the scene. It's easy to identify them – they advertise regularly in the Chronicle. Based on the four that I frequent, there has been no detectable drop-off in business. Whatever decrease in the cash register occurred, it was small enough that they could compensate by upping the price of a beverage by 25 or 50 cents, and could do so without alienating their customers. Predictions of economic doom were hype, as the aftermath of the ban has proven.

     Excuse me, but the argument that the ban would actually increase turnout in these business was silly from the get-go, which merely proves that there were over-the-top arguments on both sides. I bypass contentious online forums because they are rampant with this kind of blather. I would request that Louis Black not use print space to respond to messages received in that forum, and leave the paper to more rational sorts of discourse.

John Bartholomew

Jan. 29, 2010