The Hightower Report: Let's adopt the GOP's national platform

Well now, here's some unexpected news!

It comes from what purports to be an official document of the Republican Party. And – wow! – the policy positions it contains show that party leaders really are serious about coming to their senses and rejecting the plutocratic extremism and far-right wackiness that has stained their recent presidential, congressional, and gubernatorial campaigns.

Right at the top, this 18-page manifesto proclaims that, "Our government was created by the people for all the people, and it must serve no less a purpose." All the people! Forget last year's ridiculous pontifications by Mitt Romney and others dividing America into virtuous "creators" (like themselves) and worthless "moochers" (like you and me) – this document abounds with commitments to the common good. "America does not prosper," it proudly proclaims on page three, "unless all Americans prosper." Shazam – that's downright democratic!

And how's this for a complete turnaround: "Labor is the United States. The men and women, who with their minds, their hearts and hands, create the wealth that is shared in this country – they are America." Holy Koch brothers, share the wealth? Yes, and how about this: "The protection of the right of workers to organize into unions and to bargain collectively is the firm and permanent policy of the [Republican Party]." Eat your heart out, Scott Walker, and you other labor-bashing GOP governors!

The document also supports the Postal Service, the United Nations, equal rights for women, expanding our national parks, "vigorous enforcement of anti-trust laws," and raising the minimum wage. New enlightenment in the Grand Old Party. Hallelujah!

Can all this be true? Yes – except it's not new. This document is the Republican Party Platform ... of 1956.